In this show, Noel gets a really important call. Tony Reason speaks about his time working with Bon Jovi, while Fantasy Man tries to capture the Dream Tiger.

Noel has until the end of the episode to boost the ratings from nine to 25. If he doesn't, his show will be axed and he and all his characters will be put into storage.

Noel realises he is the only person in the show who isn't cool. He has until the end of the episode to become cool, otherwise he will be destroyed by a race of alien cucumbers.

In this episode Lysergic Casserole are trapped in a guitar case, Little Chrissie and Spoon Snake visit the Jelly Fox, while God ruins the party.

In this opening episode, New York Cop goes undercover in Miami, Renny & Gaviskon, the French chefs, take a trip to the moon, and Noel creates a felt-tip masterpiece with disastrous consequences.

Noel is taunted by a Dolphin Bomber, New York Cop tells the tale of the singing fishfinger, and Secret Peter reveals where Alan Hansen has been hiding.

Fantasy Man gets into a scrape with some chavs, kite-headed Bryan Ferry is decapitated by a racist protractor, and Noel accidentally sets fire to the show.

The cast of Magnum P.I. try to sacrifice Noel to a volcano. All hopes of being rescued rest on Paul Panfer, an internet sensation who remakes Elvis films on his mobile phone.