Duckman Episode Rating Graph

Duckman is imprisoned for killing Fluffy and Uranus, again. However, he is accidentally sent to a women's prison. A dream of his comes true! In fact Duckman fits in quite well and becomes the star attraction in the warden's side business, a dance ring. Everything's going great until Suzy comes along.

Duckman needs a new kidney. To get one requires a donation from a blood relative. He searches for his father, who he thought was cryogenically frozen. Instead he discovers that the man he thought was his father, wasn't. Using the power of the Microsoft Network (Blatant Plug!), the twins and Cornfed find where dad is currently living. Duckman and Cornfed travel there, only to find that his is a paranoid schizophrenic who's formed his own country.

The Duckman detective agency, the only agency not affected by the nationwide detective strike, becomes the focus of TV show American Dicks who are looking to solve their 100th case. Eventually, Duckman gets a case; the mission is to find the mayor.

The family goes on a dream holiday camping trip. At the park, they run into Fluffy and Uranus who are also on holiday. However, Duckman quickly puts them to work and gets himself banished from the campground. He takes Fluffy, Uranus and Cornfed with him off into the woods, but bees sting the accompanying trio. Cornfed's head swells and an allergic reaction causes Fluffy and Uranus to grow to gigantic proportions and become homicidal. Hearing Duckman's screams, Beverly and a reluctant Bernice go to the rescue leaving entertainer Jim Bailey keeps the boys and Grandma-ma entertained.

Charles and Mambo are in love and look to Duckman for advice. He tells them a Bridges of Madison County-esque story of how he and their mother met and fell in love.

Convicted of fraud, Duckman is sentenced to 5,000 hours of community service. He is sent to a dangerous inner-city high school, located a half a block from his house, where he becomes a substitute teacher and it turns out that his is the most ""Dangerous Mind.""

After the city gets attacked by one of Duckmans over-inflated dolls, the city decides to have an emergency drill where all the residents go underground till the drill passes. Duckman fails to know about the drill and has a city-wide 'party' (involving mass destrution) while all the residents are gone. Eventually the residents return to chase Duckman out of town.

Cornfed along with Charles and Mambo prepare the ultimate aphrodisiac for Duckman to turn his love life around. They give him a limited amount of the potion, but he quickly replicates it in huge batches. Now he has more woman than he can deal with. Bernice discovers what is going on and demands that he stop. When the real thing occurs between Duckman and actress Courtney Thorne-Smith, no one believes him.

Duckman receives the adrenal gland of a daredevil via a transplant at an amusement park clinic. The new gland gives him loads of confidence.

Duckman and the gang travel to San Francisco to attend Dickcon 97. He thinks he is being honored with an ""achievement"" award. When he gets there, he encounters an old rival from detective school. The rival is running the event and takes every opportunity to humiliate him. One of these methods involves an attempt to find a kidnapped Cornfed.

Duckman gets placed in a mental institution after pleading temporary insanity to a charge of public ranting. He likes the strict regimentation of the institution (compared to the anarchy and choas of outside the institution) so much that he decides to have himself permanently commited. Cornfed comes to rescue Duckman from the institution, but is to late as he has already been given shock treatment. Luckily Cornfed has a book on brain surgery and gets Duckman back to 'normal'. [note: the original version of this episode has a small section where Duckman is being dragged through a room where some residents are being given a test, and Dr. Stein asks them about seeing Duckman and a question of time. For some strange reason this scene is usually cut.]

Duckman sells his identity to the Variecom corporation for $1000, which he immediately spends. Unable to use his own name or image, he is left penniless. He even tries to become a Duckman impersonator, until he is ""downsized."" Then he conceives a plan to get his self-respect and identity back. Meanwhile, Cornfed leaves to rejoin the 80's band A Flock of Seagulls.

Mambo is caught with a cigarette in his mouth; Bernice takes action in Congress. A tobacco company CEO invites her and the family to enjoy the hospitality of the tobacco industry. When Bernice won't change her position, they are put to work picking tobacco. Rescue seems hopeless, until Agnes Delrooney, reveals that she has been hiding out as Grandma-ma all this time. She makes an escape, with Duckman handcuffed to her.

Duckman again foils King Chicken's plot for revenge. This time King Chicken has produced a product that makes everything beautiful, everything except Duckman. The only problem being is that this product is actually a virus that de-evolves everything. Duckman must again battle King Chicken and save the world.

Feeling inadequate and hard up, Duckman gets a bill job. The detectives then get a job researching the lives of two large breasted women, but Duckman runs away from it. Seeking further help, takes him into his psyche where he confronts what has really been troubling him.

Duckman backs his car into a cute girl in front the house. Finding out that she is on her own, Beverly and the family invite her to stay; however, Beverly becomes the victim when Tami tries to takeover a have a ""perfect family.""

Duckman inherits a minor league baseball team as the dying wish of the owner who is trying to keep the team from hands of a banker. To boost attendance he stages a series of stunts, that humiliate and scare the players into quitting. He ""hires"" nine super-models to take their place and they are an instant success. Cornfed teaches them the fundamentals of baseball and they become a great team. The banker institutes a scheme to prevent the supermodels from winning the big game and Cornfed discovers his other scheme on the Internet in the newsgroup alt.villians.greedy-schemes.

Ajax opens a rift in the time/space continuum with his clock radio. Duckman discovers from a future version of himself that his future hinges on Charles and Mambo's tuba recital. Unfortunately Duckman tries to use these visits from his future selves to make a his decisions and suddenly discover every little decision he makes has a big impact on his future.

Duckman receives a letter from the IRS. The IRS agent is tough and Duckman is given 24 hours to pay $29,587.42 in back taxes. After asking his family for help and being rejected and lectured, Duckman tries anything. When he can't raise the funds, he and Cornfed go on the run and then on the road. Bernice falls for the IRS agent who's staying at the house waiting for Duckman to call.

Cornfed invites Beverly to join him on a trip to his Aunt's catfish ranch. Duckman, jealous of Cornfed's interest in Bev, tags along for the ride. After getting the ranch hands fired, Duckman and the gang must help the foreman, Big Jack McBastard, on the big catfish drive to Texas. On part of their drive involves crossing ""Hell's Toilet,"" where ""the days are so hot they can boil your brain and the nights are colder than David Caruso's film career."" After Duckman accidentally kills Big Jack, they are on their own.

Duckman purchases a mail-order bride, from Tetzloff; however, she's really a jungle savage. With Cornfed's help, they attempt to civilize her a'la My Fair Lady. He asks for her hand in marriage on a ""Surprise Proposals"" episode of Leeza and things go awry when the flashbulbs go off.

Cornfed leaves for a much-needed vacation. While he is away, Duckman becomes mesmerized by a black model/private eye who quickly gets him involved in a world of murder, power, lust and every black exploitation cliché that exists with a side of a Spelling/Goldberg production.

A Grandma-ma look-a-like robber switches places with the her to make an escape. Duckman suspects that Grandma-ma isn't quite herself, of course no one believes him. The Agnes reveals herself and holds the family hostage.

Through a unique combination of chemicals, Duckman gets a rare blood disease that causes him to grow several inches each time he gets angry and rants & raves. Realizing that he can't control himself after growing several feet, Duckman exiles himself to a desert island.

With the Father & Son Games coming up, Duckman looks for an alternative to competing with Ajax. He spots a more than adequate replacement in recording artist Coolio, who's returned to school to replace his high school diploma. Coolio does not compete with Duckman. Ajax competes with Duckman and even tho they don't win, it has made Duckman and Ajax's bond stronger.

Ajax is abducted by redneck aliens and taken to a planet where Duckman is praised as a deity and Ajax revered as ""The son of Dod.""

Duckman is cast in a hospital educational film with Joe Walsh; for his part he is put into a MRI chamber. The film crew is thrown out of the lab and Duckman forgotten. Left too long in the chamber, a mutation occurs which a doctor identifies as a cure for cancer. Now everyone wants Duckman's brain for their own purposes. Meanwhile, Agnes is still impersonating Grandma-ma.

A group of comedians hire Duckman to stop a pathetic mild mannered politically correct chicken whose ""clean"" stand up routine becomes a comedy sensation. The chicken's routines are funny to everyone except Duckman, who soon discovers the source of his popularity.

Feeling ""creatively obligated by a film-noir parody,"" Cornfed calls their new client ""a dame,"" whose name is Tamara La Boinque. Later he confesses to a priest about betraying his partner, when they both fall in love with their client.

Duckman is jealous when everyone showers Cornfed with their attention, so he fires him while working their next case, which involves the ""murder"" of the owner of a Steak and Waffle on a Stick factory.

Duckman is slapped with a sexual harassment charge by the French nanny that Bernice has hired to tutor the boys. It seems the nanny isn't who she appears to be. In search of solitude Duckman moves in with Fluffy and Uranus; even they reach their breaking point with him.

We are introduced to Duckman, who's ignored by his family and feels under appreciated, he is searching for something to be remembered by. The agency receives a package that contains a bomb that goes of in the office. Duckman is happy someone cared enough to try and kill him so he visits the sender in prison. Only that suspect also receives a package.

The family makes plans to put Grandma-ma in a rest home. While taking her there, Duckman gets distracted and loses track of her. Grandma-ma embarks on a flatulent adventure and later when Cornfed and Duckman find her, she appears to be dead. Duckman makes the funeral arrangements.

Duckman & Cornfed go undercover into an exclusive celebrity-filled health spa to investigate one of the support groups.

(Willabald Feivel) Cornfed finds out from his father via a documentary co-written with Ken Burns, that he has a genetic disease that gives him a choice, either lose his virginity, or die in 24 hours. Duckman tries to help him out, but Bernice saves the day and Cornfed pledges his undying love. He becomes dejected when she rejects him and tries to commit suicide.

As the disclaimer says at the beginning this episode is full ""of heavy handed and over-obvious allegory,"" when for some children, Duckman and Cornfed search for what has become of a beautiful model named America.

Duckman and the neighbors get together to form an association after another neighborhood association appears to be getting preferential treatment from the city. Duckman is elected head of the association and he becomes Patton-like as the two neighborhood associations go to war. The civil war breaks out within their neighborhood association.

Duckman takes the family and Cornfed out for dinner. The karaoke machine comes out and Bernice's rantings against Duckman are heard by a record company big-wig. He markets her as an Alanis Morrisette type of singing sensation; however, the tour takes a toll on her and the family.

Beverly asks Bernice if she knows anything about Grandma-ma's past. The coma-bound Grandma-ma recalls her past in a series of flashbacks that involves a tortured romance with two characters who look and sound a lot like Cornfed (Petrov) and Duckman (Trigorin) with Russian accents.

A comment Duckman makes at the unveiling of a new supercomputer, named Loretta, makes the world a better place to live in, for a while anyway.

Duckman quests for friendship when Cornfed is the only guest at his surprise party. He begins hanging out at a coffee shop that is filled with a group of twenty-somethings named Ditzi, Bobby, Sassy, Pete and Marion. Together they discuss their ""problems"" a la Friends with a side of Ellen.

Duckman is kidnapped by an irate viewer who doesn't like the lack of morals portrayed on his television show.