When the Halversons belittle Bill and Judy's ability to contribute to the school's silent auction, the Millers retaliate by coming up with the hit item. Impressed with the Millers' generosity, the Halversons offer to help Bill and Judy run the event that they donated. But when the Halversons back out on them, Bill and Judy decide that revenge is in order.

When a doctor diagnoses Lauren with depression, the teenager sees a golden opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Meanwhile, Brian is desperate to figure out a way to stop his parents from going on college tours with him just to check out the local bars.

When Brian is grounded for breaking curfew, he decides to move into the garage so he can live by his own rules. Meanwhile, Lauren discovers a talent for singing that's not appreciated by the rest of the family, and Linda forces an uninterested Tina to earn her Bluebell badges in an attempt to live out an unfulfilled childhood dream.

When Bill and Judy finally meet a couple they both really enjoy, they start competing against one other to see which of them the couple likes best. Meanwhile, Brian makes an interesting discovery when he mixes up his cell phone with Linda's.

After Bill and Judy catch Brian, Lauren and their friends drinking in the basement, they decide to set an example and abstain from drinking for an entire month. Unfortunately, Bill and Judy's infamously wild Super Bowl party takes place during that time. Brian and Lauren are impressed that their parents have gone alcohol-free for a solid three weeks. However, when Super Bowl Sunday dawns, the "holiday" may be too much for Bill and Judy to handle sober.

Bill and Judy grow suspicious when Brian and Lauren start secretly making plans and covering up for each other. In order to get to the bottom of things, Bill and Judy start snooping and uncover fake IDs, a box of cash and a receipt from a tattoo parlor.

When Tina is invited to a birthday party for the daughter of former Chicago Bear Willie Gault, she refuses to go, but Judy and Bill attend anyway to meet their childhood hero. But when Bill accidentally walks out with Gault's Super Bowl ring, the Millers get a chance to live the high life when merchants think Bill is a former Super Bowl winner.

Bill and Linda meet some Bill's old high school buddies, who since then has turned his life around. Bill says his wife changed him, which leads into an argument between him and Linda about how they changed each other. Bill decides to grow back his old mustache and smoke cigars, while Linda goes back to hanging out with her drunk friend from high school. After realizing that maybe changing does come for the better, they both go back to their usual selves.

Bill doles out advice that lands him in hot water with wife Judy. Bill's misguided remarks are acted upon by 15-year-old Brian, who's upset because he didn't get invited to a fellow cheerleader's big kegger, although younger sis Lauren did. His story of woe prompts Bill to relate a tale from his own youth when he crashed a party and pretended to drink a lot of beer. Later, Bill and Judy cut short their fun at an AC/DC concert to make sure that Lauren hasn't disobeyed them by sneaking off to the bash.

Bill tries to become more involved in Lauren's life, but his constant digging into her life only serves to drive her further away.

Bill and Judy attend their twentieth high school reunion, and soon they begin acting like teenagers again. Bill meets his old hot dog eating competitor and challenges him to see who can eat more pancakes at the reunion breakfast, while Judy is shocked to see that the most popular girl at school has become a successful architect and has a ""perfect life."" In order to make Judy happy, Bill makes up a lie about the woman's husband having an affair, and Judy spreads it all around the reunion. Now Bill has to make an effort and correct the lie, but only makes it worse – as the rumor spreads, the guy goes from a cheater to gay man. Meanwhile, Linda scores a date with an ex-boyfriend, but she can't get over his disliking of The Beatles.

Brian helps a woman in need as part of his outreach project and Bill willingly lends a hand when he discovers that ""old"" Mrs. Grundy is a hottie. When Judy catches Brian and Bill staring at the beautiful Mrs. Grundy, Judy demands that Bill have a serious talk with Brian about not leering at women. Bill teaches his son a lesson, but it is not exactly the lesson Judy had in mind. Meanwhile, Linda contemplates Perry's request to spice up their sex life outside of the bedroom.

Bill is irate when he catches Lauren's boyfriend sneaking out of the house after midnight. Following the incident, Bill decides to bond with Chris in order to gain his respect and ensure that the young man is less likely to disrespect his daughter. When Chris reveals to Bill that Lauren is the one who wants things to move faster, the Millers make a valiant attempt to put their parenting skills to work.

Bill's dad has a new fiance, Joy, with a nine-year-old son, and it's the youngster who starts receiving all of Bill's dad's attention. Meanwhile, Joy irks Judy and Linda with her hyper-optimistic personality.

After Judy and Bill order Lauren to drop basic math and take a more difficult algebra class, her bad attitude about schoolwork multiplies and the conflict between Lauren and her parents increases exponentially. Judy and Bill then try to solve the problem using the art of negotiation.

Bill finds out that Brian has been taking driving lessons and decides to teach how to drive before his 16th birthday. Although Brian has pretty good skill behind the wheel, Bill keeps insisting that he should behave more manlike. Judy secretly steps in and takes over teaching Brian, which Bill finds out after Brian does courtesy waves and hold him back on a sudden break after he buys him a 1981 ""Mystery Machine""-like van.

Tensions run high in the Miller household as Judy's steadily bickering parents visit for Thanksgiving, and things only get worse when the couple announce they're extending their already unwelcome stay by a week. Linda, meanwhile, tackles cooking the traditional turkey dinner in hopes of winning some praise.

When Judy's excellent coaching may put Tina's basketball team in the playoffs, Bill tries to get them to lose so he can watch real basketball on TV instead. Meanwhile, Linda's hurt when her cat seems to love Lauren more than her.

In order to pay for a tutor to help him study for the PSAT, a stressed-out Brian takes a job with Bill and runs circles around Bill and his slothful co-workers. Meanwhile, Linda uses Lauren to nab a divorcee with a son.

Eager to relive their glory days, chaperones Bill and Judy are excited about a teen dance with an '80s theme. The same can't be said of Brian, who's dateless after following his mom's relationship advice. Meanwhile, Bill gives a few pointers on the birds and bees to a football player, who then makes a move on Lauren.

Bill has to crawl back into Judy's favor by apologizing to her hairdresser for calling him a rip-off artist.

Bill gets the bright idea to have Lauren profile her Aunt Linda for a school report on role models, which leads to Lauren helping Linda fulfill her dream of designing and selling fashions for goose lawn ornaments. Meanwhile, Judy becomes jealous of the time that her little sis and eldest daughter are spending together and spitefully dismisses their business venture, predicting it will lay an egg.

After Louise's husband kicks in money towards a Sweet Sixteen party for grand-daughter Lauren, she feels this means she gets to run the show. Meanwhile, Brian struggles to get money for a college application.

Bill takes Brian out to a gentlemen's club for his 18th birthday, but worries when Brian starts spending all his time there. Meanwhile, Linda regrets giving Lauren a poem for her homework when it may end up winning an award.

Bill and Judy search for a pair of tickets to a Rolling Stones concert, but getting them proves to be more difficult than they'd hoped. Meanwhile, they have to put up with Marion expounding on how wonderful she and Fitz's marriage is.

Judy is tricked into doing more group activities than she planned when she tries to improve her relationship with her mother-in-law against Bill's advice. Judy is thrilled when Louise invites her on a cruise only to discover, to Bill's delight, that her sneaky mother-in-law has duped her. Now, Judy finds herself traveling with Louise's women's group, The Red Hat Society, which consists of women aged 50 and above. Judy must somehow find a way to let Louise down without hurting her feelings.

When Brian graduates high school, he plans to move out and Bill and Judy plan to expand their bedroom into his. However, Brian gets the impression they've split and have become swingers.

When Judy discovers that Bill is an excellent cook, she welcomes his help with the meals. But when he gets fussy about the cooking, Judy begins to think that maybe she preferred it when Bill spent all his time on the couch.

Since Perry won't come home to help redecorate, Linda helps Kyle redecorate his place, and some of her choices irk Bill and Judy. Meanwhile, Linda's marriage becomes the subject of Brian and Lauren's wager.

To give Bill and Judy a much-needed break, Judy's parents come to take the kids for the weekend, but decide to stay when they realize Judy is sick. Having forgotten the joy of being taken care of, Judy conveniently extends her illness a little longer but gets into trouble when her parents find out she is faking.

Brian and Lauren take jobs at different areas (book store and babysitting) and soon their bond with their bosses provokes jealousy among their parents. Bill and Judy feel overlooked when they realize their children are doing all sort of things with their bosses that they normally wouldn't do – or ever did – with them. Brian learns to like Led Zeppelin and baseball, while Lauren bakes brownies for her boss. All's well for the kids until their dream parents fall through and they realize there are no parents like Bill and Judy.

Bill convinces Linda to take his advice instead of Judy's when he tells her to let her fiancé pursue his dream of making a music video even though he hasn't written the song yet. At first Judy enjoys the down time she has now that her sister is going to Bill for advice. But Judy finds herself with her hands full when Perry decides to postpone the nuptials and spend all the wedding money on the video. Meanwhile, Brian agrees to let Lauren give him a makeover in order to impress a girl, and ends up missing half an eyebrow.

Bill and Judy are initially happy that Linda and Perry are finally tying the knot, but when Roach, the eccentric minister and best man, shows up and the other wedding details are unveiled, Judy thinks her sister may be making a big mistake.

With Brian facing a failing grade if he can't climb a wall, Bill's attempt to fix the situation ends up hurting rather than helping. Meanwhile, with Johnny in Japan, Louise decides the family should learn crafty skills, such as needlepoint.

Judy is excited to host Christmas in the Miller house for the first time, but her plans are scrapped when Bill's mom insists on having Christmas dinner for the entire family in her tiny apartment. Meanwhile, Linda's good deed for Christmas – making over her helpless co-worker – goes better than planned when her ""patient"" turns out gorgeous and lands a date with a rich lawyer Linda had her eye on.

Bill gets caught up in a fantasy card game in which players pretend to be wizards and warlocks after he learns that Brian is a champion player. Meanwhile, Judy starts spending time with Fitz now that Linda is engaged and doesn't have much time for her.

To Bill's delight, Brian enters the world of popularity when he becomes the basketball team's statistician, but his feelings quickly fade when he discovers the players are making Brian their ""errand boy."" When Bill attempts to remedy the situation, the team instantly demotes Brian from cool statistician to school mascot, prompting Judy to come to the rescue.

The humorous Valentine's Day card that Judy receives from Bill leaves her feeling as if the romance in their marriage is dead. To reignite the old spark, Judy shows up at Bill's job wearing nothing but a trench coat and high heels, but her surprising visit doesn't go exactly as planned. Elsewhere, Brian seeks his parents' advice when trying to impress a girl at school.

Brian is excited and filled with confidence when he receives instant messages from Lauren's hot tutor, Sarah, a smart college student. Bill encourages Brian to pursue her and ask her to the upcoming high school dance. However, just as Brian is about to make his move, his family once again manages to suck the joy out of the moment.

Judy takes Bill's advice to feign a shared interest with her boss to get a promotion. What she receives, though, are opera tickets for the same night as a big hockey game. Linda, meanwhile, happily volunteers to chaperone Lauren's sleepover party.

Louise winning a car during a taping of Oprah puts a rift between her and Judy. Meanwhile, Brian and his meteorology club friends decide how to spend a club surplus.

As a favor to her beleaguered boss, Dr. Gerber, Judy offers temporary shelter for his prized pet pooch. Bill goes a step further, showing the dog and his lonely owner how to kick up their heels and have fun.

Annoyed with Linda's statement that her family doesn't spend any quality time together, Judy tries to gather everyone together for a family night playing games. Problem is no one is remotely interested, which frustrates Judy. She leaves the house, and in an effort to please his wife Bill decides to take the family to the planetarium. On their way out, Bill is reminded that the bowling team tryouts are tonight, and juggles between bowling with his family and bowling with his friends until Judy catches him. The only thing that keeps them from leaving is a lunatic family playing on the next alley that insists they're competing, which they weren't (until they decide to take on the challenge and lose).

Bill feels inadequate in the company of Linda's physically fit boyfriend, so he attempts to prove his own athleticism by joining a beginner hockey league, but overexerts himself just trying to keep up with the other players. Meanwhile, Judy is pressured into joining a health club and taking spinning classes.

Lauren is forbidden from attending her first school dance as a punishment for bullying, which Judy recalls falling victim to as a teen. Lauren, though, has evidence of a double standard after Bill lets it slip that Judy used to tease a girl by calling her ""Gina-so-smelly.""

On a father-daughter outing to the mall, Bill and Lauren agree to lie to Judy about spending quality time together, and then split up to do their own things. Meanwhile, Judy's decision to try on Linda's wedding dress turns out to be a very bad one.

When her cat dies, Linda starts treating her latest loser boyfriend more like a feline than a man. Meanwhile, Bill and Judy can't help but make fun of the strange circumstances of the cat's death.

Brian and Lauren scheme to avoid Christmas chores and family togetherness, but when their plan works, they're not as happy as they thought they'd be.

Lauren anxiously awaits a phone call from a boy, and in an effort to help her, Bill tells the boy that she likes him and he should call her. Lauren is humiliated, so Judy buys tickets to a Blink-182 concert for her and all her friends. The only rule is that Bill cannot talk to the kids when they go to the concert, but unfortunately he can't help himself. Lauren leaves the concert and goes to the car in embarrassment and Bill ends up giving her fifty dollars to come back. But as one embarrassment ends, another one begins when Judy flashes her breasts to the band.

When Tina comes running to Judy to do the ""manly job"" of killing a spider, Bill realizes that does not wear the pants in the Miller household, but in fact, Judy does since she does all the jobs he should stereotypically do. With that in mind, Bill decides to prove that he is indeed the manlier Miller by repairing Tina's broken dollhouse all by himself. Meanwhile, Lauren gets conflicting advice about dealing with her new boyfriend from Bill, Judy and Linda.

When Bill and Judy discover that their pediatrician has the teddy bear that they used to hide their stash in, they must come up with a plan to get it back. When they find that the toy isn't in the donation bin at Dr. Bloom's office anymore, they go to his house where Lauren is babysitting his granddaughter, Ella. They discover that Ella is sound asleep holding it but as they prepare to get it away from her, Dr. Bloom returns home.

Judy discovers that ""boys night out"" consists of flirting with a waitress at the local restaurant. However, when Judy informs Bill that the pretty, young waitress is really an overworked, single mother, Bill accuses Judy of being jealous – until he learns of her flirtation with the mailman.