The Sarah Silverman Program. Episode Rating Graph

Sarah becomes an adviser to a local beauty-pageant contestant. She encourages a young girl to enter the pageant in order to fulfill her own childhood dreams. Meanwhile, Steve's behavior in a police car result in unforeseen consequences.

Sarah searches for AA batteries so that she can use her remote to turn off a television benefit for needy children. While on her search, Sarah loses a farting contest and has a sexual encounter with God.

Sarah tries to explore her own sexuality. Meanwhile Brain and Steve bicker over a soft drink.

Sarah strongly believes that it is much easier to be a black person in America than it is to be a Jewish person. To prove her point she decides to become black for a day. Meanwhile, Brian and Steve get carried away smoking medical marijuana.

Sarah starts a relationship with God who turns out to be needy and insecure. However, she still hopes to show him off at her upcoming high school reunion. In the mean time, Brian and Steve question the origins of their sexuality.

Sarah gets arrested for drinking (cough syrup) and driving. After she is released from jail Sarah discovers the attraction between her sister Laura and the arresting officer. Meanwhile Brian tries to convince his partner Steve that he is bisexual.

Sarah invites a homeless man into her home to prove she is a caring person. Meanwhile Brian learns karate, but fails to use it in dire straits.

Sarah cannot believe she is pregnant, and it seems to be too much for her to handle.

Sarah defends our freedom by running over anyone with a beard.

Sarah fires her maid, Dora, believing that she has stolen her beloved Hamburglar doll. When her life slips into filthy disarray, Sarah goes to Mexico to get her maid back, but Dora has since gained unexpected power.

Sarah narrates the story of Steve creating a baby robot.

Sarah is sick of hearing about the upcoming mayoral election, so she amuses herself by campaigning for a fake write-in candidate whom she calls, "May Kadoody." An actual May Kadoody steps forward when her name is, shockingly, announced as the winner. Kadoody outlaws brunch and gay marriage, interfering with Steve's dream of marrying Brian.

Sarah and Steve go to a jam band concert where Sarah convinces all of the fans that they are tripping.

Sarah discovers that her father is not dead. Brian spends a ridiculous amount of money on a DVD set, then commits to watching it enough times that it will make itself more economical than if he'd rented it. Guest starring Tim Heidecker as Jay's grief counselor.

Sarah realizes her old friends aren't that much fun, so she decides to look for new ones.

Sarah has the mistaken epiphany that she is retarded, and tries to use her disability to inspire people. Brian and Steve accidentally bump heads while trying to pick up a magical dragon phone and switch bodies.

Brian and Steve have a stand-off to decide who will do the laundry.

When their mother's grave is vandalized, Sarah and Laura become contestants on their favorite TV show in hopes of winning enough money to replace the tombstone.

Sarah becomes engaged to Doug.

Sarah sues "Home Alone", the movie, for influencing her to accidentally murder her new neighbor. Her eloquent case about the dangerous influence of entertainment leads her to the position of official censor of Valley Village television. Brian seeks revenge on a bird who repeatedly poos on his head.