Cheeky investigative reporter Woody, set up by his editor after an attempt to test Buckingham Palace security, flees to Spain to seek refuge with beach bar owner and ex-colleague Brutus, who – recalling an incident with a crossbow – is less than welcoming. However, they join forces when fugitive fraudster Donald Hammer and his trophy wife Melody engage them to find Donald's missing parrot Wally.

Short of cash, Woody agrees to deliver an antique urn to a nearby island on behalf of supposed courier Maria but finds he's the decoy whilst she delivers drugs. At the same time, Brutus's wife Beverly turns up at the bar. Years earlier, he had faked his suicide to get away from her and now she wants half of the bar so, at Woody's suggestion, he fakes a second death.

During the local hypnotists' convention, The Fabulous Mark mesmerises a volunteer into believing that he is a gunman out to kill him but the man flees and disappears. Whilst Mark hides out with his wife, Woody impersonates him at the convention and when the man is located, it turns out that there are more hypnotists in town than expected — and some with sinister motives.

Woody goes undercover to find a thief at the island's gangster-owned casino.

Brutus, Zorro and Melody are in the frame for murder. Only Woody can clear their names.

Kidnapped at sea, Woody's life is in danger as pretend pirate battles turn into real ones.