With the help of Freddie and some mischievous schoolchildren, Clarence hopes to dodge the double ordeal of having to wear a top hat and make a speech at the Blandings fete.

Notoriously uptight Baxter is trying to weasel his way into permanent employment at Blandings, but Clarence has bigger problems. His grandson George is terrorizing the estate with an air rifle, and Freddie is being pursued by East End gangsters.

Connie insists Clarence spruce himself up for a visit by the sophisticated Lady Daphne and her spoiled brat, Huxley. But when Daphne takes an unusual interest in Clarence (and his prize pig), Connie becomes suspicious.

Hannibal Didcot is bullying Clarence over a fake painting. Connie encourages Hannibal to propose to wealthy American Vanessa Polk, but Galahad and Freddie have other ideas.

Clarence has to get his pig eating again or he will lose the Fattest Pig prize to his fiendish rival. Meanwhile, Connie demands he put a stop to his niece Angela's love affair with cowboy Jimmy.

Clarence hopes to avoid dancing with his niece Gertrude by inviting a convenient blockhead to keep her company. Meanwhile, Freddie must keep his new Portuguese wife a secret from Connie.

Clarence must prevent his younger brother Galahad publishing his scandalous memoirs and ruining the family name. If he fails, Connie will exile him to hellish London.

Clarence has grown an appalling beard, to the dismay of Beach and Connie, but Freddie needs Clarence to convince Hollywood starlet Pauline Petite of his bona-fides.