With the help of Freddie and some mischievous schoolchildren, Clarence hopes to dodge the double ordeal of having to wear a top hat and make a speech at the Blandings fete.

Connie insists Clarence spruce himself up for a visit by the sophisticated Lady Daphne and her spoiled brat, Huxley. But when Daphne takes an unusual interest in Clarence (and his prize pig), Connie becomes suspicious.

Hannibal Didcot is bullying Clarence over a fake painting. Connie encourages Hannibal to propose to wealthy American Vanessa Polk, but Galahad and Freddie have other ideas.

Clarence and Connie's even more terrifying sister, Charlotte, is threatening to take up residence at Blandings permanently. Freddie comes to the rescue with an audacious plan to steal the Empress.

Clarence has to get his pig eating again or he will lose the Fattest Pig prize to his fiendish rival. Meanwhile, Connie demands he put a stop to his niece Angela's love affair with cowboy Jimmy.

Connie is trying to impress Colonel Fanshawe, in the hope that Clarence might succeed Fanshawe as Lord Lieutenant of Shropshire; but Beach is behaving very oddly indeed..

Clarence must prevent his younger brother Galahad publishing his scandalous memoirs and ruining the family name. If he fails, Connie will exile him to hellish London.

Notoriously uptight Baxter is trying to weasel his way into permanent employment at Blandings, but Clarence has bigger problems. His grandson George is terrorizing the estate with an air rifle, and Freddie is being pursued by East End gangsters.