Browse episode ratings trends for Never the Twain. Simply click on the interactive rating graph to explore the best and worst of Never the Twain's 67 episodes.
Best Episodes of Never the Twain
A Nose For Quality
S3 Ep3
8.0
24th Oct 1983
Both Simon and Oliver believe that they have appointments to meet Lady Deveraux with a view to purchasing some of her antiques.
Going, Going, Gone!
S5 Ep2
7.5
15th Jan 1986
Peel and Smallbridge have to share a room in a country pub.
Not On The Same Wavelength
S3 Ep6
7.5
14th Nov 1983
Simon and Oliver are invited as guests onto a radio show. The two men become convinced that Lyn is pregnant.
Partners
S3 Ep2
7.5
17th Oct 1983
Simon receives an offer for his shop. Oliver thinks that Ringo has won the pools and breaks his partnership with Simon, offering Ringo a partnership. However, thinks are not what they seem for either man.
The More We Are Together
S2 Ep6
7.5
12th Oct 1982
Oliver and Simon each separately consider reforming their partnership due to the poor state of their accounts and the imminent arrival of the taxman.
Of Meissen Men
S1 Ep2
7.3
14th Sep 1981
Veronica appears on the scene - causing Simon and Oliver to compete for more than antiquities.
Neighbours
S9 Ep5
7.0
4th Oct 1989
Simon holds a meeting of the Residents' Association. There is a new resident who is about to move in and this leads to a sleepless night for both Simon and Oliver.
In Whom We Tryst
S5 Ep1
7.0
8th Jan 1986
Peel and Smallbridge become attracted to the same shop assistant.
Worst Episodes of Never the Twain
Families At War
S1 Ep1
5.5
7th Sep 1981
The feuding fathers find out about the relationship between their son and daughter and consider taking steps to prevent a marriage.
Father Of The Groom
S1 Ep6
6.5
19th Oct 1981
Simon holds a dinner for Oliver, Lyn and David, his ulterior motive being to expose Oliver's lack of etiquette. Lyn prepares for her move into Simon and David's home. David and Lyn's wedding day arrives.
Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed ?
S2 Ep1
6.5
7th Sep 1982
Simon nominates Oliver for membership of his golf club. Oliver holds a function for the committee members to win their support. Lyn and David are on their honeymoon and return to find Oliver and Simon quarrelling over their wedding presents.
A Woman's Place ...
S2 Ep3
6.5
21st Sep 1982
David and Lyn quarrel about her taking a full-time job. Oliver seeks a new cleaner. Simon is losing to Oliver in a telephone chess game and becomes suspicious about Oliver's apparent skill at the game.
Taking Stock
S3 Ep1
6.5
10th Oct 1983
Oliver and Simon have re-entered their partnership. They decide to do a stocktake. Oliver meets up with an old school friend, Bethan. Confusion ensues over a fake watch and a "pair" of candlesticks.
A Home of Your Own
S4 Ep1
6.5
8th Nov 1984
David and Lyn have moved to Canada. Simon needs to find someone to rent his flat quickly before his Aunt Eleanor moves in.
Words and Music
S4 Ep3
6.5
22nd Nov 1984
Oliver and Simon volunteer to perform at a Vet Circle luncheon for Caroline.
No Flame Like An Old Flame
S4 Ep4
6.5
29th Nov 1984
Simon's life becomes complicated when an old sweetheart pays him an unexpected visit.
Never the Twain Episode Guide
Families At War
S1 Ep1
5.5
7th Sep 1981
The feuding fathers find out about the relationship between their son and daughter and consider taking steps to prevent a marriage.
Of Meissen Men
S1 Ep2
7.3
14th Sep 1981
Veronica appears on the scene - causing Simon and Oliver to compete for more than antiquities.
A Night At The Opera
S1 Ep3
6.7
21st Sep 1981
Veronica wants to go to the opera in Edinburgh. Simon and Oliver each compete to be her date. Simon has to find a replacement au pair.
A Matched Pair
S1 Ep4
7.0
28th Sep 1981
Oliver's antiques shop is burgled. A pair of pistols is reported missing, but when these mysteriously turn up in Simon's shop Oliver turns this misfortune into an opportunity to make money from an insurance claim. Simon is arrested when a police officer spots the pistols in his shop window. To encourage Oliver to assist him in getting the charges dropped he agrees to help Oliver get membership at his golf club.
Nothing But The Truth
S1 Ep5
7.0
5th Oct 1981
Oliver beats Simon to a painting they both want. But is it a Constable or not? David confesses propositioning another woman, jeopardising their engagement.
Father Of The Groom
S1 Ep6
6.5
19th Oct 1981
Simon holds a dinner for Oliver, Lyn and David, his ulterior motive being to expose Oliver's lack of etiquette. Lyn prepares for her move into Simon and David's home. David and Lyn's wedding day arrives.
Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell and John Kane.
It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also starred Derek Deadman, Zara Nutley, Robin Kermode, Tacy Kneale, Julia Watson, Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner and Maria Charles.
The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.
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The best rated episodes of Never the Twain are:
A Nose For Quality S3E3 rated 8.0
Going, Going, Gone! S5E2 rated 7.5
Not On The Same Wavelength S3E6 rated 7.5
Partners S3E2 rated 7.5
The More We Are Together S2E6 rated 7.5
Of Meissen Men S1E2 rated 7.3
Neighbours S9E5 rated 7.0
In Whom We Tryst S5E1 rated 7.0
The lowest rated episodes of Never the Twain are:
Families At War S1E1 rated 5.5
Father Of The Groom S1E6 rated 6.5
Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed ? S2E1 rated 6.5
A Woman's Place ... S2E3 rated 6.5
Taking Stock S3E1 rated 6.5
A Home of Your Own S4E1 rated 6.5
Words and Music S4E3 rated 6.5
No Flame Like An Old Flame S4E4 rated 6.5
The first episode of Never the Twain aired on September 07, 1981.
The last episode of Never the Twain aired on October 09, 1991.
