Cosby Episode Rating Graph

After Jurnee expresses her fondness for schoolmate Kevin and he retaliates by shoving her on the school playground, amateur psychologist Hilton explains his theory of how ""playground scarring"" can affect a woman for life. According to Hilton, when women are unable to trust, unable to commit, their problems can always be traced back to a bad playground experience when they were deeply humiliated by a boy they liked. To this day, Ruth has problems with trust because of a certain Kenneth P. Watson, who purposely teetered when he should have tottered, requiring a young Ruth to get stitches. When it comes to Jurnee, however, Hilton is determined not to have history repeat itself.

Hilton has to keep a naked lady in his bathroom a secret. Hilton was too embarrassed even to look at Monica, the nude model in his art class. But when he tries to help her out by loaning her some of his clothes, he ends up hiding her rather than having to explain his good deed -- which just might be misinterpreted.

While searching for a rare part for his beloved turntable, Hilton bumps into an old friend from his bachelor days, Fred. When Hilton and Fred start reminiscing about how they double-dated sisters Mattie and Roberta Singleton, Hilton decides to play matchmaker and prompts Fred into learning whatever became of Mattie. Even now, years later, Fred can't help wondering what might have happened if they remained a couple.... and, thanks to Hilton, he may finally get a chance to find out.

Hilton is sentenced to a life without pork chops, barbeque ribs and bacon when a doctor's visit reveals a too-high cholesterol count. A mouth-watering meal for Hilton now consists of tofu, steamed broccoli and ""not-wurst"" imitation hot dogs. New Jersey Nets player Jayson Williams guest stars as Jurnee's teacher, who adds his two-cents on the subject of of Hilton's eating habits.

When Griffin accompanies Hilton to ""Grandparents Day"" at Jurnee's school and adds his two cents to the science lesson, it quickly becomes apparent that he is a natural at teaching and holding the kids' interest. Who would have thought?? Hilton is thrilled that Griffin has uncovered a talent for this most noble profession, while Erica is more than ticked off when she learns that Griffin achieved a higher GPA than she did in college. At first resistant to the idea of working hard for little pay and loads of responsibility, Griffin is ultimately swept up with the idea of molding the minds of America's young -- heaven help them.

Hilton's cousin Earl has secretly checked himself into the hospital for a colonoscopy procedure, not telling his wife Lillian because he doesn't want her to worry. Hilton is going to visit Earl, and he warns Ruth and Pauline to keep Earl's secret from Lillian, who's coming over to visit. Erica is sorting through some of her childhood possessions and finds her jacks, which leads to an impromptu jacks tournament among the women. At the hospital, Hilton tells Earl not to worry, Hilton won't leave his side. When Hilton accidentally spills coffee on himself and puts on a hospital robe while his clothes dry, he gets taken into the operating theater by mistake. When Pauline slips and reveals where Earl is, both Lillian and Ruth head for the hospital.

Griffin is helping Hilton fix the bathroom door when Wendy arrives very upset and looking for Pauline, her godmother. Before she leaves Hilton has given her $45 to help pay her overdue phone bill. Later Pauline learns that Wendy is in debt for over $15,000, and she's determined to teach Wendy some fiscal responsibility, and she tells Hilton it will be a long time before he sees any of his money. Hilton goes to the bank and learns that not only has his bank has merged with another bank, but also that the computers are down and he can't withdraw any money. After a long, frustrating wait, Hilton uses the ATM machine outside the bank, and, instead of the $50 he requested, the machine gives him $11,000. Hilton is tempted to take the money and run. When Ruthie comes home, Hilton expects a compliment for fixing the door, but instead she discovers a huge scratch that Griffin has made in the wall. When Ruthie learns about Wendy and all her debts, she says she'll forgive the scratch in the wall

Erica and her girlfriends, unable to find ""Mr. Right,"" take Ruth's advise about changing their dating habits and set out on ""The Great American Manhunt."" As the girls despair about their single state, Ruth tries to explain that men are like old cars - you've just got to find one that works, and if you take care of it long enough, eventually it'll be worth something! Taking her advice, the ladies set out in search of the guy least likely to turn into a lemon!

When Ruth's snobbish sister-in law Debra throws an engagement party for her daughter, Hilton and Ruth try to steal some of Debra's thunder. They arrange for Erica to bring a handsome date to the party, but they get some unexpected results. When the night of the big engagement party finally arrives, Erica discovers that the date she chose for Erica, Philip, has turned from the choir boy she knew into a funky rapper. Hilton is surprised to find that Arthur, his candidate, is now a bicycle repairman. But Debra is the most shocked of all when her picture perfect evening has a not-so-perfect ending. Meanwhile, Griffin makes some serious moves on his date, Tammy, a young woman trying to get over a broken heart.

Hilton is overjoyed when he meets new friends Chuck and Larry and joins their ""Older and Out"" team, since he's also older and he's ""out"" keeping busy. Ruth discovers that Chuck is gay, and she mistakenly believes that her husband of more than 30 years may have feelings for a man! Blaming herself for letting the spark go out of the marriage, Ruth sets off to win him back before a surprised Hilton discovers the real meaning of ""Older and Out.""

Although Hilton thinks he's going to fight crime in his new job as a security guard, he ends up as a glorified doorman who gets more than he bargained for. After Hilton graduates at the top of his class in security guard training school, he is assigned to his post at a fancy apartment building and is ready to be a crime fighter. Although he quickly learns that the job requires many things not taught in class -- like dealing with precocious young children who won't leave the lobby and walking the tenants' dogs, his professional training comes in handy when a robber breaks into the building on the night of the World Champion New York Yankees celebration party, which is attended by manager Joe Torre and pitcher David Cone (guest starring as themselves) -- only after they prove their identity to the overzealous Hilton!

Hilton is shocked to find out that an antique store where he has a new job is really a front for illegal activity: a brothel the police are planning to raid. When the cops want Hilton to help put the criminals out of business, he overeagerly accepts the challenge to do his duty as an American citizen and take part in their ""undercover sting operation."" Meanwhile, he is sworn to secrecy about his assignment and is therefore unable to stop Ruthie from spending the paycheck he knows he will never receive.

When Ruth and Pauline ""just happen"" to spot a used pregnancy test in Erica's garbage and then ""just happen"" to see the positive results, they assume that Erica is expecting, but Hilton comes to another conclusion. It's bad enough that Erica has temporarily moved in with her folks while her new Manhattan apartment is being renovated, but Hilton is allergic to her cat. Then, when her married friend Stephanie comes to visit and leaves her positive pregnancy test in the garbage can -- everyone reacts in the wrong way. Ruthie and Pauline think that Erica's having the baby, Hilton is proud that he and Ruth are going to be parents again, and Ruth and Hilton end up thinking that Griffin is actually the father of Erica's nonexistent child.

Deceit weaves a tangled web around Hilton, who tells ""one little lie"" and then, to keep up the ruse, finds that he must pretend he's someone else -- and not married to Ruth. In order to avoid attending a wedding, Hilton fibs about needing brain surgery -- and pays a high price. Hilton is always frustrated by everyday deceits, including truth in advertising. Nevertheless, he makes up the lie to avoid attending the Sunday wedding of the son of Ruth's friends, Elaine and Dave, which interferes with his watching sports on television. Pretty soon, he's ensnared in a tangled web of his own making..

Hilton is stunned when 11-year old Jurnee, left in his care while her father is away, returns from a friend's birthday party drunk. Hilton and Ruth are adamant about finding out who spiked the birthday punch and caused several of the children to awaken to wicked hangovers the following morning. But, Jurnee is not budging for fear that she will be labeled a squealer among her friends. Hilton is determined to make Jurnee understand that protecting the guilty person is sometimes just as bad as being guilty yourself.

When Hilton offers to make Jurnee's Thanksgiving Day Parade turkey costume from scratch, it comes out to be just that.... a turkey of a costume. So imagine Hilton's joy when the queen of domesticity, Martha Stewart, shows up at the coffee shop bearing the most realistic looking turkey outfit that anyone's ever seen and leaves it behind by mistake. But, when Martha Stewart returns asking if anyone has seen the costume, will Hilton's guilt get the best of him... or will Jurnee be the best-dressed turkey in the parade?

Griffin and Erica work out a financial deal to move into Griffin's house on a landlord-tenant basis -- thus giving Hilton and Ruth back their privacy – only to have Griffin's house accidentally burn to the ground. Hilton's visions of spending romantic evenings alone with Ruth are over before they've even begun. And, when Erica and Griffin realize that everything destroyed in the fire was either borrowed, rented or on loan, they decide it's time to grow up and start taking ""ownership"" of their lives.

Hilton's new responsibility, looking after 11-year-old Jurnee while her dad is at work, becomes a little too hot to handle when Jurnee asks him a complicated question about the birds and bees. Not wanting to interfere in Jurnee's upbringing, and looking for a way to avoid having to answer himself, Hilton suggests that the curious Jurnee go to her dad for an explanation. No matter how difficult it is for Del to face the fact that Jurnee is growing up (perhaps a bit faster than he had hoped), with coaching from Hilton, he finally appears ready to have ‘the talk.'

Jurnee is aghast when she finds out that her dad intends to date the ""meanest"" teacher at her school. Del is so troubled by Jurnee's reaction to his interest in Ms. Malone that he's ready to call off their date. But Hilton reminds him that almost every person can remember a teacher who was too strict, gave too much homework or expected too much of a student -- and usually ended up being the one who made the greatest impact on the student later in life.

Hilton volunteers as a reader for a retired, blind English literature professor and, upon realizing his gift for teaching, urges him to return to the classroom. Anthony Quinn guest stars as Professor Christo, whose failing eyesight and advanced age caused him to leave behind the profession he loves so much.

Ruth must deal with a bunch of know-it-alls. Her husband Hilton ""knows"" that his community center boys' basketball team could beat her girls' team, and her star player Nikki ""knows"" that the game should be only about scoring the points. So when Ruth challenges Hilton to a boy/girl game, he has a lot to do to get his star players in shape, and Ruth must teach Nikki about teamwork. Hilton gets a lesson in what girls can do when WNBA ""New York Liberty"" team members Teresa Weatherspoon and Kym Hampton show-up at the gym for a clinic and run a couple of their finest plays.

Due to a hospital mix-up, Hilton gets the colonoscopy that was meant for his cousin. When Hilton's cousin, Earl Lucas, goes to the hospital for a colonoscopy, Hilton decides to be at his side for support. But when the nurses confuse the two men, Hilton ends up in a most uncompromising position in full view of medical students and an internet audience. Meanwhile, back at the Lucas house, Erica finds her childhood set of jacks in an old box and she, Ruth and Pauline keep Earl's wife, Lillian, busy with some rather fierce competition.

Ruth surprises Hilton when she enrolls him in tap dancing classes as a birthday gift. He skips the classes, but tells Ruth that he is making remarkable progress. When Ruth announces that she is going to attend the dance recital, Hilton must take a crash course in fancy footwork, or risk having his deception exposed. The coffee shop hosts it's first poetry night.

When the city closes down the Flower Cafe because of a misplaced vent, Pauline suggests that she and Ruth indulge in a pampering weekend at a spa. Hilton's only assignment while she's gone is to get the vent fixed. Carla. the chaperone of a Brazilian girls' choir, asks to rent out the coffee shop for a small get-together, and Hilton hesitantly agrees. After all, Pauline and Ruth are out of town and what could possibly go wrong?

Despite Ruth's insistence that family and friends should never work together, Hilton goes to work for Griffin narrating children's stories. He just can't refuse the tempation for some creative rewriting, and Hilton puts his own spin on some classic kids' tales. Will he have his poetic license revoked? Meanwhile, Pauline is so captivated by the handsome young man temporarily working at the coffee shop that she can't bring herself to fire him.

Griffin contemplates quitting the teaching profession when his first day as a substitute teacher is a disaster. The Lucases lend themselves out as mock students so that Griffin can practice his teaching techniques on them -- although their misguided attempt to help might just turn him off teaching forever.

Hilton falls asleep during an ""I Spy"" marathon. He dreams that he and his old partner Kelly Robinson have been put on a new case in Hong Kong. However, Erica keeps interrupting Hilton's dream to discuss her wedding preparations. The rest of the cast play parts in the dream.

To wrest control of his block from lowlifes (like the burglars who targeted him), Hilton forms a neighborhood-watch program (of sorts). Now watch the watch commander lose control and cause crime instead of preventing it: he intimidates a man who has just been mugged, has an innocent woman's car towed away, and then must explain why a missing elderly woman is found unconscious in the Lucas dining room.