Red vs. Blue Episode Rating Graph

Future Church watches Tex, Donut and Tucker leave for Sidewinder, and soon follows them. He talks first to Sheila before leaving for Sidewinder, asking her to do him an inaudible favor. Once at Sidewinder, Future Church finds his past self and Grif in prison, and opens their cell by pressing a button in another room. He attempts to contact Tex, who is currently being held by O'Malley and Wyoming, before another Church approaches him. This new Church claims that he fails to stop the bomb, and gets blown back in time again, only to return to Sidewinder. He then tells Future Church to "meet us at the top of the ramp." The bomb goes off, and Future Church is sent back in time. As seen in Episode 50, as soon as Church is teleported by Gary to Blood Gulch, Future Church arrives and asks to be sent to Sidewinder because he screwed everything up. Just then, more Churches arrive, each having been unsuccessful to stop the bomb, and thus sent back in time to Gary. These Churches all meet in Sidewinder, and explain to the newest Church how their various plans failed. It is determined that whichever Church did each one of these plans already must be the successful Church, since he isn't sent back in time again. This Church gives up on trying to correct everything, instead freeing Tex, and rejoining the Blood Gulch soldiers before the explosion, thus being sent into the future. Church emerges at O'Malley's base, just in time to ask Gary, who remains there, to stop the bomb from detonating. He then prepares to explain the events he went through.

F.I.L.S.S. starts to sound the alarms stating there is a security breach on level 'Alpha.' Tex soon chases the Reds out of the base and soon starts to beat up the reds and Simmons is separated from the group. Simmons runs to Caboose, who is in a control room, and tell him he needs a bigger weapon; Caboose presses random buttons until a rocket launcher falls down to Simmons. Simmons runs into Tucker who recruits Tucker to help distract Tex. Sarge and Grif are still getting beaten up by Tex, until Tucker pulls out his sword and draws Tex's attention away from the Reds. However Caboose accidentally 'saves' Tucker, and yells at Caboose for fucking up the distraction. Tex realizes that Simmons fires a rocket at her, and throws a teleporter door at the rocket, redirecting it at Simmons blowing up the area he was standing on. Soon Tucker, Simmons, Grif and Sarge are rejoined to attempt to fight Tex as Caboose still tries to find ways to 'help' them out while in the safety of the control room. After some major ass-kickery, Tex ends up throwing everyone, but Tucker, to the other side of the room where. Caboose then attempts to drop a crate, which Tucker and Tex are under, in order to help Tucker. After Tucker dives out of the way, Tex catches the Crate and throws it at Tucker and the reds. Tucker is able to slice the crate in half missing himself as Grif and Simmons are hit by the split ends of the crate and Sarge is covered in Med Packs. After Tucker attempts to fight Tex, he his sword stripped from him and repeatedly gets thrown into teleporters, slowly getting black stuff all over his armor. Realizing that the rocket launcher is an older model, Simmons attempts to fire it at Tex, but can't tell Tucker and Tex apart. After Simmons fires a rocket at Tex, she preforms some acrobatics in order to avoid being hit by the missile that is chasing her, running through teleporters to avoid and redirect the missile. After coming out of the teleporter unscratched, Tucker and the Reds get caught in the explosion propelling them across the room. Soon after they are down for the count, Tex gets hit in the head by the monitor and Church tells her to pick on someone her own size, as the camera turns to see Church in robotic armor.

Church discovers a note from Sheila and Lopez confirming that they have started a robot army. At the Red Base, Sarge unveils the two new robots; one contains a microphone to spy on the Blues, and the other contains a bomb. The Reds and the Blues meet in the center of the gulch to execute the exchange. Sheila and Lopez also arrive to conquer the Blues; Lopez becomes angry at seeing new robots brought into the conflict, and rushes forward to attack. A tense Mexican standoff results, and Sarge tries to call an air strike. However, due to crossed communication channels, Tucker intercepts his message, and realizes that Vic is apparently working for both Red and Blue Commands. While Church possesses one of the robots, Tucker tries to alert everyone that Red and Blue are the same, but is hit by a rocket before anyone can understand him. His attacker is apparently Doc, possessed by O'Malley, who flies around on the hovercraft, firing rockets at will. In the ensuing chaos, O'Malley takes Lopez as a hostage, announces his intention to conquer the universe, and disappears through the Red Team's teleporter. The Reds and Blues call a temporary truce to pursue Doc, whom the Blues need to heal Tucker, and to retrieve Lopez, whom the Reds need for the plans his memory contains. Donut, Sheila, Tucker, and one of the robots remain behind in the gulch while everyone else follows through the teleporter. Tex soon surfaces in the remaining robot body. Unfortunately, due to a teleporter malfunction, the pursuing Reds and Blues end up separated and scattered across different places. Simmons ends up in a huge area full of teleporters, Church and Grif end up captured by Max Gain, a member of the Red team in Sidewinder, and Sarge and Caboose appear in the stream in Battle Creek.

The funeral of Church and Tex, prior to the events of Season 2, takes place. Future Church continues his attempts to change things for the better, but still ends up causing the disasters he was trying to prevent: * Future Church, posing as Captain Flowers, contacts Vic to try and get him to tell the Reds to get rid of Doc, to stop the medic from being infected by O'Malley. Vic misconstrues his words to believe the Red and Blue teams have merged, but that the soldiers must not know. Thus, the Red and Blue Commands merge. * To stop them from making a robot army, Future Church tries to dissuade Lopez and Sheila from the idea. Instead, he gives them the idea himself, and they decide to build and hide a rocket-launching vehicle in the caves. * Future Church decides to fix the Red teleporter before it malfunctions and sends the characters to various places, just as Sheila rams the base. Future Church is knocked out, and the teleporter begins giving off sparks. * During the Mexican standoff where O'Malley appears, Future Church finds a rocket launcher and aims to take the villain out. Instead, he shoots and injures Tucker from behind, and again decides to retreat to the caves.

The episode opens up again at the Zanzibar fortress as Tucker and Caboose are attempting to teach English to the Alien. Church and Tucker get into a small debate on whether they should teach the alien English or learn his language. Tucker is convinced that they should teach English to the Alien and even had created some visual aids. As it turns out, Tucker was able to get the writing supplies from Caboose's gun which apparently contained crayons instead of bullets. However, when Tucker activates his energy sword to cut the poster boards, the Alien jumps over and attacks him. Despite Tucker's cries for help, Church watches the Alien as it attacks Tucker in order to "evaluate" his fighting style. Back at Blood Gulch, Simmons is at the Blue base with Sheila close by. He attempts to contact the Red Base, but is greeted with Donut on the line, who tries to impersonate an answering machine. Simmons attempts to get Sarge on the line, but Donut, under instructions from an off-screen Sarge, denies Simmons from communicating with Sarge, even after he informed Donut that he had captured the Blue Base and Sheila. Eventually Donut hangs up on Simmons, but not before letting Simmons know that he really enjoys his new job as Sarge's right-hand man. Simmons then declares that he will kill all the Reds and tells Sheila to "lock and load". Back at Zanzibar, Tex talks with Andy. Tex, through some bluffing and mild threats of blowing up Andy with a remote detonator, convinces him to help her translate what the alien is saying. This, however, doesn't stop Andy from making rude jokes about Tex acting more male than female.

After discarding two of Sarge's suicidal battle plans, the Blood Gulch group invades O'Malley's fortress and are pinned down by mini-gun turrets manned by the Red Zealot and Lopez's head. Tex snipes Lopez's head off his turret, but the Zealot pins her down with gunfire. Simmons and Grif manage to enter the base and move on to look for O'Malley. Tucker, who had fallen into a hole near the windmill, finds a mysterious sword, and uses it to kill the Red Zealot. Meanwhile, carrying the bomb inside the fortress, Caboose mistakes Tex's "X" marking for a plus sign. He continues on and stumbles across a computer, from which he hears the voice of Church.

The Blue Team discuss which Red soldier they will kill, in order to even the teams. After much pointless discussion, Tex shoots a disguised Lopez, resulting in Lopez's body to be a mere head. Donut, thinking Simmons was the one killed, cries in sorrow after seeing his death. The Blues then decide not to kill any more soldiers. In the Freelancer backstory, Teams A and B begin their missions. Team A enters the 110 story building and York unlocks a door for them. He accidentally, however, activates an alarm, causing two Insurrection soldiers to go look for them. Back at Blood Gulch, The Reds try to make a eulogy for the death of their teammate. Unfortunately, nobody can figure out the right words to say. Simmons, however, walks up to them and is overjoyed that they are talking about him. He tells Sarge to finish his eulogy. However, Sarge says that Simmons was always there for work and talked a lot, much to Simmons' dismay.

Official Ending - Tex reasons that ruling the Aliens would win the war. Church, arguing O'Malley can't be trusted in a deal, begins broadcasting on an open channel to prevent O'Malley from jumping into Tex. As Tex kills the last remaining Wyoming, O'Malley accidentally infects Simmons. Tex knocks Simmons out, and follows O'Malley into Caboose's mind. Church approaches the Reds and warns them to disable the ship so that O'Malley can't escape, before entering Caboose as well. Inside Caboose's mind, Church finds Tex and O'Malley negotiating their deal to rule the Aliens. He kills them both, causing them to leave Caboose's mind. After killing himself, Church emerges from Caboose's head to find that in the interim Tex has taken the sword, while Junior and the New Alien have boarded the ship. O'Malley then infects Donut. Tex then knocks him out forcing O'Malley to jump to a different host. After jumping to multiple hosts, O'Malley jumps back into Tex and boards the ship to escape. However, Sarge has placed Andy on board, and gives the order to detonate. The ship disappears, followed soon by an explosion. Official Ending - Alarm The Blues retreat to their base. Some time later, the teams loosely echo each other's episode 1 dialog, before Sarge calls the Reds to name a new ATV he built.

Wash start waking up after he was unconscious by Tex's attack. On seeing her approach, Wash crawling toward his weapon, but Tex stopping him. She asks him where's the Director, to which Wash says he doesn't know. Receiving no response he wanted, Tex decides to kill Wash, but The Meta hits her, starting a fight between three of them, revealing that Tex had hidden weapons all over the battlefield. Doc comes close to Epsilon to ask if he’s OK, what says no. Following the fight, Tex pops placed bombs at the site, causing an avalanche. Despite the efforts of Wash and Meta, Tex advantage continues to blow up a second pair of bombs placed at the edge of the cliff. Wash and Meta begin to fall, but Wash is saved by retrieving his weapon, while Doc saved Wash by the Warthog’s towing mechanism. The Meta continues attack Tex, but she stabs him with a knife. Meta achieved escape firing his weapon, leaving Tex unconscious, this leaves that the Meta capture Tex in the capture unit. Wash tries to convince Epsilon to surrender, but Epsilon decided to fight against his ex-partner. Wash asks Meta that give him the captured unit, but Meta, blinded by the power and vision to finally have an AI after he had lost, betray him and install the capturing unit on his back, turning on his cloaking unit. Wash tells Doc that protects Epsilon while he is in charge of the Meta, but Meta overthrow him. Meanwhile, the Reds and the Blues come in a Pelican, shattering it on the battlefield, getting away the Meta to instead. Epsilon and others find the drive where Tex and want release her, but Washington says he cannot release her if it has the necessary tools, so he tells Tucker and Caboose retrieve tools inside the base, while the Reds find objects that have the power to liberate Tex. As teams will search, Epsilon tells Wash that he’ll become immersed in the unit, but Washington says it does not because it is their only ticket out of jail. Epsilon says he will do it for him, for Alpha and for the Director. Epsilon reveals that it has begun to remember his past after reading the Director’s diary, which refers to the person whom the Director loved. Wash reveals that person's name is Allison, Epsilon responds "she returned when Alpha was created”, which Tex is really a bio-product of the Alpha's creation. When Wash call her a "shadow" of the real Allison, Epsilon is angry with him. While still speaking, it reveals that there have never been alone... the Meta had been camouflaged behind in the snow, making others believe that had separated from the capture unit.

Three months after Tex's second attack on the Red Base, Medical Officer DuFresne ("Doc") arrives in Blood Gulch and contacts Blue Command for orders. He reports to the Blue Team to treat Tex, who has already died.[2] Church explains this to Doc, noting how his and Tex's bodies are both buried in front of Blue base. More helpfully, Caboose conveniently recaps the first season, explaining that Church is actually a ghost possessing Lopez's robot body, which has since been spray-painted cobalt. Caboose has also apparently begun to habitually utter death threats to Tucker in a deep, menacing voice. With nobody injured, Doc, on loan to both armies due to a lack of resources, prepares to visit the Red Team next, but the Reds suddenly attack.

In the past, Church (as a Marathon character) finds a computer terminal, which answers some questions for him. Church is in the housing facility for The Great Weapon, which The Great Destroyer will use to bring Great Doom to the galaxy in 1,856 years. When computer describes The Great Destroyer as a "blue being" who "will be known as the stupidest life form in the universe", Church assumes that it must be referring to Caboose. 1,856 years in the future, Caboose asks Sarge to look at the computer terminal, which is playing a message from Church. The message tells Caboose not to touch anything, lest he bring about Great Doom. Specifically, Caboose should avoid bringing the "glowing sword weapon thingy" into the base, as the place will lock its doors. Tucker and Donut stroll in with the sword, and the base locks down, with Caboose's bomb already counting down inside it. In the past, Church finishes recording his message, but, deciding that it will not suffice, asks the terminal to transport him to Blood Gulch so that he can prevent the whole fiasco. While telling jokes to pass the time, the terminal begins the millennium-long process of researching and building a teleporter.

The computer completes the teleporter and reveals its name to be Gary. Church teleports back to Blood Gulch shortly before the series begins. The moment Church is teleported away, however, another Church runs in and tells Gary to teleport him to Sidewinder instead, because he screwed everything up. Back at Blood Gulch prior to the events of episode 1, this Future Church decides to try and prevent the death of Tex, which would prevent O'Malley from escaping and causing the events leading up to The Great Doom. He finds, however, that he either has no effect, or causes the events by his presence in the first place: * Lopez's legs malfunction because Future Church, in trying to get him a larger switch, kicked dirt into the switch Sarge decided to use when building the robot. * Prior to episode 1, the Blues were under the charge of Captain Butch Flowers. Knowing Flowers would die, Future Church gives him aspirin, but Flowers dies of a heart attack due to an allergy of the medicine. Tucker, at this point in Blue armor, takes Flowers' cyan armor. * Donut, in rookie Red armor, finds the Blue Base and steals the flag because Future Church, failing to recognize him outside of pink armor, gives him directions. * Future Church attempts to prevent the death of his past self, which would stop Tex from arriving in Blood Gulch. He awakens the tank and runs through her protocols to try and prevent her from shooting him later. She refers to herself as Phyllis, and overrides her name when Church addresses her as Sheila. Future Church turns off a "friendly fire protocol," which in actuality prevents friendly fire; thus the original Church's death takes place because of Future Church. * Finding a sniper rifle on the corpse of his past self, Future Church picks it up but drops it later. Caboose finds it, and uses it to shoot Sarge. * Attempting to kill Donut to stop him from killing Tex, Future Church fails and retreats to the cave, frustrated. Caboose spots what "looks like Church," and turns on his radio. As a result, O'Malley infects him.

The episode begins with Church giving another monologue which is repeatedly interrupted by Tucker's callings. Church goes to the cliff where Caboose and Tucker are already waiting to spy on the Reds who are making modifications to their warthog. As the Blues argue about what the modifications are, the Reds fire a rocket from "Chupathingy" at them. Church then hears Donut giving orders to Simmons, as if he was Sarge! Mad about how everything is so different he begins to go down to Red Base to set things straight saying "If we're gonna do this, it has to be done the right way or there's no point in doing it at all." The scene goes to many years earlier with the Director and the Counselor arguing.

O'Malley calls Vic and reveals his plot to eliminate both the Red and Blue Teams and to rule the universe. He also informs Vic that, to preserve Vic's secret, he has hired an assassin to kill Tucker, the only person who knows that Blue Command and Red Command are the same. Back in Blood Gulch, Tex tells Tucker that Wyoming, the assassin hired to kill him, is a freelancer from the same experimental program as Tex, and, like Tex, he had been enhanced with artificial intelligence. Still in the teleporter hub with Simmons and Caboose, Sarge contacts Donut to inform him of the "Blue plot" and that Tucker's idea that Red and Blue are the same is nothing but a deception. Wanting to help to find Church, Caboose unwittingly presses a button that activates the bomb in Church's robot body. On Sidewinder, Church consequently lets out a large belch, and his stomach begins to tick.

Having arrived at the Great Burning Plains (Burial Mounds), the Sacred Quest team prepares to perform one of the many tasks that the hero of the Alien's prophecy is supposed to do. As the team argues and bickers, it is revealed by the Alien and Andy that they know what Earth is, and that they don't have a favorable opinion about the planet. Apparently, the Alien's race invented the telephone a thousand years before humans did, which, however, fails to impress Tucker, due to the limited verbal communication of the alien race. In the meantime, Caboose scouts ahead and claims to recognize the area. The Alien warns the group that they are about to encounter a monster, which they have to conquer by distracting it and hitting it's weak spot. Tucker is unmotivated about the plan, even to the extent of having paid no attention to the details of the monster's weak spot. After they finally leap down the last ridge, they see the skull of the monster, which Tucker realizes is that of a cow, with a broken skull as the only visible remains, possibly due to one of the Red and Blue Teams' scavenging missions in season 3 (episodes 43–46); Caboose confirms to Andy and the Alien that they had been there before. Back at Blood Gulch, Sarge assumes that Grif is being tortured by Simmons, a concept he's very satisfied with. Donut, however, in his current status as manager, breaks the harmony by proposing bureaucratic changes. Sarge decides that he can't take this anymore, but is reluctant to rescue Grif - a situation he just can't find the name for, but finally settles with conundrum.

Grif is still despairing over being back in Blood Gulch, despite the others' attempts to shut him up. Meanwhile, back at Zanzibar, Tex, Tucker, and Caboose discover that Church is back in ghost form again. Church explains that he was literally scared out of his body after being ambushed by the Alien in the last episode, though his attempts to explain this are repeatedly interrupted by Caboose's stupidity and Tucker's attempt to hijack the flashback and showcase his sexual fantasies; Tucker wisely ends quickly so as to avoid getting his head blown off by Tex. Tucker uses the catch phrase "Bow-chicka-bow-wow" in this episode for the first time, much to Church's annoyance.

The Meta finishes configuring the old Epsilon unit into a capture unit. Out of curiosity, Doc asks Washington if they could track the Reds' trail, like heat signatures, footprints etc. But Washington tells him otherwise, however, after doc is out of earshot, Washington asks the Meta if they could track the Reds like Doc suggested. Back at the facility, Tex fully recovers and discusses Epsilon/Church's motives on freeing her. In an awkward attempt, Church claims that he needed to get Tex out of his head and even refers to her as his girlfriend. Meanwhile, the Reds decide to use the absence of the Blues to put them back into the database. Simmons and Grif decide to go together, after Simmons threatened to change Grif's job description and change his gender to a woman. Back at the desert, Doc finds out that Washington has taken his suggestion an had Meta find the Reds successfully. Doc simply demands that the two give him credit for the idea.

Having set the piece of wall containing Doc back up vertically, Washington again attempts to interrogate him. After being repeatedly hit by the Meta and threatened to be shot, Doc reveals that Simmons said something about a distress call, and mentioned "sand". At the desert, the Reds spy on Epsilon-Church and Caboose. Sarge believes that the Reds may be able to restore the Blues to command's database at the facility mentioned by Epsilon Church. As the Reds leave in pursuit, Tucker takes the opportunity to escape from the aliens and follows the Reds. Epsilon Church and Caboose arrive at the entrance to the facility, hidden within a derelict factory, and find a monitor embedded in a tree. The monitor activates and a voice identical to that of Sheila is heard, explaining that they have 30 seconds to leave or be killed. When Caboose asks if it is Sheila, the program identifies itself as F.I.L.S.S. (Phyllis); Sheila's name before Church mistakenly renamed her during Episode 50. Upon hearing Epsilon Church's voice, Phyllis disables the countdown, believing him to the the Director of Project Freelancer. At his request, Phyllis opens the door to the facility, which was hidden in a wall. As the episode ends, Epsilon Church asks Phyllis to answer to the name Sheila, as it will be easier than getting Caboose to adapt to the new name.

The Reds return to the desert to find Caboose being threatened by the aliens as a result of Epsilon-Church going missing. Tucker informs the aliens that the Reds took Epsilon in order to draw them off of his own back. Meanwhile, as Simmons and Grif try to wake up Epsilon-Church, Sarge is leading the aliens, and thanks to a series of warnings, Grif is able to punt Epsilon away just after he comes to. The aliens arrive with Sarge to see no signs of Epsilon-Church. The Reds flee in the midst of the distraction, and Caboose abandons Tucker, leaving him to face the aliens alone. The Reds and Caboose locate Epsilon, who landed in the mine field after he was punted away. Grif tells Simmons, who is unaware of the mine field, to go get him and Simmons hastily retreats when he accidentally activates a mine.

After dispatching the guards by her lonesome, Tex and Epsilon-Church arrive at the Freelancer base. Church has another flash of Valhalla, and realizes he mixed the two locations up in his memories. Tex reveals that this was where Alpha was sent after the very first break in, and it was here more and more "tests" were run on him. Other AI were used in the torturing process of Alpha, with Omega and Gamma being used to create tests that Alpha would purposefully fail, driving him mad, and breaking him to the point he could not recognize anybody, not even Tex. When Church asks if she and the other Freelancers succeeded, Tex says no, and that she failed herself and Alpha. At Sandtrap, Wash asks Doc if he can comment on the Meta's current condition. Doc only reiterates that the Meta has too many power-ups that he can't operate anymore. At the first Freelancer facility, Simmons finally installs Grif with one of the armor enhancements. This winds up being a super-speed ability, which sends Grif into a wall. However the timer runs out as the episode ends and Grif, exhausted, takes a nap.

Tex is bashing Church's original blue body with the Monitor body he had been using until recently. Caboose talks to F.I.L.S.S. who says he should use the "armor lock" function to get Tex to stop, which was developed when the Freelancers broke into the facility. He does and it locks Tex down and makes her stop, but it then also locks the Reds and Church down as well. Meanwhile, in Sandtrap Agent Washington and Meta have killed all the aliens. Wash tells Meta to search the camp for where Church went. Doc and Wash discuss the paid benefits they get for working; Wash is surprised to hear that Doc gets paid overtime when he doesn't. Meta finds something in a cave and Wash tells Doc to go inside and check it out.

After an intense battle in the training arena, the 4 agents involved become injured, especially York. When the other Freelancers come to York's aid, a very furious Director walks in. Wash tries to explain to him that Maine and Wyoming were the cause of the resulting madness, but The Director, instead, angrily scolds him, calling it inginuity and adaptability. He leaves and the injured Freelancers are escorted to medical attention. At Blood Gulch, the Blues scurry around their base, trying to figure out who threw the grenade. Unbeknowest to the Blues, Epsilon-Tex appears behind them. Meanwhile, at Red base, Simmons lures Lopez into a cave, where he plans to electrocute him. Lopez, however, overhears Simmons' plan and doesn't fall for his it. Instead, Lopez tricks Simmons into his own trap, causing Simmons to get electrocuted instead.

At Blue Base, Caboose appears to talk to Epsilon about his adventures in Blood Gulch with Sheila. Sarge is looking for Simmons so he can brief Red Team on his latest plan to wipe out the Blues. Sarge finds Simmons in the holographic projection room beneath their base, and interrupts Simmons' heartfelt talk with a holographic version of Sarge. Above ground, Grif, Sarge, and Simmons discuss their strategy for combating Blue Team, which involves restoring the information of the Blue Team in Command's databases that was previously erased by Simmons, because the team reasons that they can't beat an enemy that doesn't exist anymore. Sarge tells Simmons to wake up Donut, who was shown to be still unconscious earlier in the chapter, but they find him missing. Once again at Blue Base, Caboose appears to be recounting previous adventures to Epsilon. The camera pulls back and Donut is revealed to be standing behind Caboose.

Washington and The Meta plan to interrogate Doc after they pull him out of the wall with an anchor but it does not go as they had planned, meanwhile The Reds and Caboose get visited by a memory of Delta who tells them that Epsilon is not in control but searching for memories as, Epsilons encounter with Washington has jogged many of its memories, and that Epsilon has not "Coped" with the memories well and fears Epsilon will pursue "certain" memories in particular and states that Delta himself and the other memories of the Alpha fragments will not be able to hide much longer as he states Epsilon will be aware of their presence eventually.The Delta fragment warns Caboose that "Memory may be the key, but everything that is locked is not meant to be unlocked" and leaves before he is discovered. Epsilon-Church awakens again and says he remembered something important and that it may be able to help him and asks Caboose to accompany him to a facility before night fall.

Informed by F.I.L.S.S. that the storage facility contains backups of Project Freelancer data, Simmons has her restore the Blue Army data. Grif peruses the records, which show that all the Red and Blue bases are merely training grounds for Freelancer agents, and are staffed with the army's worst soldiers. Furthermore, all the strange events they had encountered, including being seemingly blown into the future, meeting the Alien, and Tucker's pregnancy were part of just one of several scenarios that may be run at simulation bases. These revelations shocks Sarge, who walks off and constructs a base from junk. He insists that Simmons and Grif stop calling him "Sir", and then announces that he quits. At the Freelancer base, Tex reveals that she is looking for the Director. She suggests that Washington and the Meta may know who the Director is. In the event they do not know his identity, Tex states that she will simply kill them, and that if she cannot find the Director, she will settle for destroying everything he built. When Epsilon-Church asks how Tex will get in contact with Washington and the Meta, she shoots him, triggering his recovery beacon. She explains that the beacon would not have activated until they left the storage facility. Church insists that he would have helped her. She states that he cannot even help himself, which is why he made her. Church asks her why she is doing all this, and she says that she intends to find out. In the desert, Washington and the Meta pick up Epsilon's recovery beacon. Washington has the Meta grab the storage unit and Doc acquire a vehicle, stating that they are "going to the only place that's left."

At the Blue Base, Tucker becomes ill. Church and Caboose discuss Tucker's sickness, which apparently he caught when the Sacred Quest team stayed overnight in a swamp. Church suggests the sword's power source could be giving off radiation. Church and Caboose have a reasonably light and friendly discussion regarding the nature of the sword, as Tucker rolls in pain. This friendly discussion even extends to Church mentioning that he would love to "live in [Caboose's] world for about 10 minutes" just to have some fun. At the Red Base, Simmons persists in trying to enter the Red Base to relay vital information about the war to the Reds. However, he still meets resistance from Donut and Grif until he very quickly changes out of his mostly blue armor to his original maroon armor. Apparently Simmons learned this ability because of his extreme shyness, which has led him to never use the base's toilet for three years. Back at the Blue Base, Church and Caboose question Andy on what might be causing Tucker's sickness and suggest that he, being a machine (and thus not able to get sick) go into the base, find out what is wrong with Tucker and report back. Since Andy is a bomb, the only solution he can provide is to blow up the base with Tucker inside, killing all the germs and everything around the base in the process. Finally, out of frustration, he tells Church and Caboose that if they want a medical diagnosis, they need to find a doctor. With that, Caboose says to Church "Please don't do it." O'Malley and Lopez bicker over who should pick up the telephone that is ringing inside their secret lair, while Doc decries their bickering. It appears that all three have survived their encounter with the Alien and that O'Malley has continued in his pursuit of taking over the universe. It would seem from Lopez's attitude toward O'Malley, all those attempts have failed miserably and this has caused Lopez to become quite cynical and disrespectful toward O'Malley.

Epsilon's storage unit suddenly opens up, and the figure of Delta is seen. He explains that Epsilon chose this form because Delta was the main source of information from Caboose's stories. Delta asks Caboose for his help on a mission; specifically, he asks Caboose to take him to the source of energy that Donut had previously mentioned, and also where Tucker is supposed to be, so they can punish those who harmed Alpha. Delta states that they must find it themselves because Washington doesn't trust Epsilon and Caboose constantly fails at building a new body for Epsilon, explicitly remembering the fires. Caboose agrees to go on this mission. As Delta disappears, the Reds arrive and Caboose tells them that he is leaving to get Tucker. Grif volunteers to go with him so that he can ensure Command acknowledges the Blues exist. Sarge decides to go as well, but Simmons chooses to stay behind with Donut and offer 'logistical support'.

Outside the Red Base the team of Caboose, Sarge, and Grif prepare to leave for Donut's given coordinates while Grif questions the capabilities of their new jeep. After they leave, Simmons informs Donut and Lopez that he is going to blow up Blue Base. After he is gone for a long while, Donut decides to go check on him. Meanwhile, after stopping at a number of bathroom breaks for Caboose, the team arrives in the desert, only to be told to vacate over an intercom. This follows with a warning that they've driven into a mine field. The scene cuts out while Caboose and Sarge question whether or not you can own a field and Grif says that he means explosives, just as an explosion is heard.

Shortly after Simmons asks Lopez for explosives, Donut comes back from investigating Blue Base for parts, mentioning off-hand that Caboose took Epsilon with him. Simmons becomes upset, as returning Epsilon to the authorities was part of the deal that got the teams their new bases, and attempts to radio Sarge to let him know. Unfortunately, he is unable to make contact as Sarge's radio isn't working. Back in the desert, the guide explains the treaty between humans and aliens and that another human team might cause an incident. He does permit Sarge, Grif and Caboose to scavenge for parts and supplies as long as they don't wander off. As Sarge notes that something "doesn't feel right", the guide tells Smith to return to getting into the temple while he takes care of the others, as the camera swings around to reveal the dead bodies of the real investigation team.

At Blue Base, Church tries to get information from Caboose about the special forces soldier. However, because of Caboose's stupidity, he gives up and leaves. Meanwhile at Red Base, Sarge and Simmons are seen working on a robot. Donut comes over and asks if Sarge can speak with him in private, leaving Simmons alone and a little embarrassed. Back at Blue base, Church tries to get the tank online, but fails at every attempt. Tucker asks why he is yelling at it, with Church saying that he needs to get the tank online before Tex comes. Tucker, thinking he is trying to impress his girlfriend, says he won't be able to pick up chicks in a tank anyway. Tucker tells Church to listen to him if he wants to impress Tex and to call him "Professor Fuck ". Back at Red Base, Donut and Sarge finish talking. Simmons walks up to Sarge asking how the their talk went, Sarge saying they talked about feelings. Simmons asks Sarge if he could also talk about feelings with him, but Sarge quickly stops him and tells him to get back to work.

In an unknown location, Washington is heard creating a journal entry. Admitting that it has been a while since doing one, Wash decides to get up to speed: he recalls the corruption of Project Freelancer, its demise, his job as a Recovery agent, and Project Freelancer's misuse of the Reds and Blues as cannon fodder for their Freelancer agents. The only people Wash could trust was the Reds and Blues and together, they succeeded in bringing down Project Freelancer and the Director once and for all. Wash then mentions the fact that they became shipwrecked while on their way home, and fears that if help doesn't come soon, someone else may find them. Wash talks to the group - Comm tower S11 Finishing his entry, Wash hears the tank fire and sees that Sarge and Simmons are using it on their own base, with Grif still inside. Wash asks why Sarge has the tank, but quickly realizes Caboose gave it to the Reds.

Simmons manages to enter the Red Base by correctly guessing the weak password established by Grif and Donut. Simmons wants to report the Blues' plans, but Sarge still considers him a traitor and insists on holding a trial with himself as both judge and prosecutor. This trial is quickly aborted, however, when Grif argues that Donut will want to act as a bailiff in hotpants. As a result, Simmons' sentence is summarily commuted to the payment of a hefty fine, to be split between Sarge and Grif. Meanwhile, O'Malley, Doc and Lopez return to the gulch. As O'Malley approaches the Blue Base, he is greeted with a "warning shot" from Church, who reveals to Caboose that he was actually trying to hit O'Malley. O'Malley accuses the Blues of attempting an ambush, but Church explains that he just wants to establish a few ground rules at the outset: O'Malley is supposed to enter the base, give a diagnosis for Tucker, and then leave. In exchange, O'Malley demands something "mysterious", "frightening", and "pure evil", as well as a 20-dollar upfront copayment. Church agrees and asks Caboose for 30 dollars.

The Reds are out looking for Donut, heading over to Blue base. Donut confronts Caboose and tells him that he has an important message for Church from Tucker. Caboose quickly explains Church's true nature as an AI and Donut tells Caboose the message instead, saying only that Tucker needs help, and that "it is under the sand" before passing out. Caboose misunderstands the message, but tells Donut he can rest at Blue Base for as long as he needs to. Meanwhile, Sarge, Grif, and Simmons arrive outside and think that Caboose is torturing Donut. Caboose talks with them and Sarge tries to negotiate Donut's release, but Caboose misunderstands the questions, believing the Reds are offering him treats, and becomes angry when they don't give him any cookies. Simmons also becomes agitated with the situation before leaving to "go sleep under a tree until it's over". Caboose goes back inside the base where Donut has regained consciousness. The episode ends with Donut puzzling over the fact that the normally insubordinate Grif is working with Sarge and that Simmons has uncharacteristically abandoned them.

After Washington hangs up on Caboose, Donut offers to help him with his project and mentions that the Red team's underground holo-room could be useful before returning to Red base. After another accidental fire, Caboose decides to take Donut's advice and sneaks off toward Red base with Epsilon, planning to check out the holo-room. There, the Reds are making plans to rescue Donut, who returns and explains his brief visit to Sarge. Only Grif notices Caboose's attempt to stealthily enter Red base, but he ignores him and Caboose gains entry to the holo-chamber. Once inside, Epsilon begins to make humming sounds, which alarms Caboose. The scene fades to black and the chapter ends with Caboose mysteriously exclaiming, "It's you."

Medical Officer DuFresne (Doc) arrives at Valhalla after Simmons had requested a medic from Command. Doc is initially happy to meet Simmons again, but Simmons says that Donut needs his help. Doc notes that Donut is dead, and that nothing can be done for him. Simmons says he is sorry, and admits that he sent the request because "they" forced him to, needing someone with medical training. Doc turns around to see Washington and The Meta, who knocks him unconscious. In the desert, Epsilon Church is enjoying his new status, making up speeches while being worshiped as a deity by the aliens. While delivering a eulogy for C.T. and the human members of his team, Epsilon Church trails off when he sees a dark figure in the distance. He follows the figure; as it walks into a building, he finds himself at the Valhalla installation. When Tucker gets his attention, Epsilon Church again finds himself back in the desert. Realizing that Epsilon Church has just had another flash of memory, Tucker tells the Reds that this has been happening with increasing frequency. When Epsilon Church recalls seeing a waterfall, Grif and Caboose say that it sounds like the Valhalla bases.

As Sarge makes preparations to call Simmons to get his take on Epsilon Church's visions, Doc recovers and wakes up at the base with Simmons, who explains the details of Washington and the Meta to him. After hearing that Doc had experience with Omega previously, Washington tells him to examine the Meta, who is suffering from armor problems. Back in the desert, Sarge uses Epsilon Church to boost the Warthog's radio and contacts Simmons, but receives a forced message from him under Washington's supervision. Fortunately, using nothing more than his knowledge of his teammates and Simmons' communication, Sarge instantly deduces the situation at Valhalla. As he and Grif set off to rescue them, an intrigued Epsilon Church follows.

Washington, the Meta and Doc gather near the Epsilon unit, which Washington realizes is empty due to the AI being moved to the eye-like body they saw in Valhalla. Doc, having not seen it, thinks Washington is going crazy from heat-stroke and tries to psycho-analyze him while the Meta begins converting the storage unit into a capture unit to retake Epsilon. At the facility, the Reds and Blues debate reactivating Tex until Church takes AI form and inserts himself into her body. Once there, the two bicker for a bit until Church agrees to let her out and hit Tucker for making an ex-wife joke earlier. Back in his body, Church has F.I.L.S.S disable the recovery mode on Tex, who gets up and smacks Tucker.

Tex and Simmons are trying to obtain information from F.I.L.S.S. when Epsilon-Church walks in. When Church explains that Sheila keeps calling him the Director, Tex explains that there are no profiles on the Director, Church, or herself but everyone else has one. After this Simmons leaves to tell the Reds that he found out that Washington used to wet the bed. She then points out a Freelancer base somewhere in an icy area. As Tex leaves, Sheila asks Church (still thinking he is the Director) to make a journal entry. Church asks her to play one as an example. Realizing that these entries might contain answers, Church asks Sheila to transfer them to his armor and then delete the rest. Meanwhile, Grif tells Sarge that Simmons is "doing inventory stuff". Sarge asks him why he isn't helping and Grif responds saying he is on break. Sarge explains to him that "you're always on break." After back and forth arguing Grif finally goes to Simmons. Tex comes back with new armor as she prepares to leave for the icy Freelancer base. Though the other soldiers want to come, Tex only agrees to bring Church instead. Grif finds that Simmons found the devices that enable the Freelancer agents' special abilities (invisibility, time distortion, etc). Grif asks Simmons to suit him up so he can take an invisible nap.

Donut flees from the approaching Blues, but, still unable to brake, Tucker runs over Grif and the Warthog with Sheila. Tucker radios the Red Team to tell them to turn off their radios. Initially they refuse, so Lopez sings a love song about Sheila over the radio until they relent. Meanwhile, Church and Tex meet Caboose's mostly incorrect mental images of the Red Team. O'Malley suddenly kills Caboose's mental image of Church — thus making Caboose completely forget who Church is — and the real one and Tex subsequently give chase. Eventually trapping O'Malley, the two, hoping that Tucker had been successful, shoot him, chasing him out of Caboose's mind. Without any means of jumping to another armor, O'Malley signals "cockbites" in Morse code as he gradually fades. However, in a scene deleted from the DVD he detects one last radio transmission from Doc, who is attempting to contact Blue Command, and takes possession of him.