Dharma & Greg Episode Rating Graph

Much to Greg's horror, Dharma tries to help Donald make a memorable evening of his first sexual experience. Meanwhile, Greg searches for memories from his childhood but decides he would rather remain in the present; and Larry develops temporary powers of recollection.

Kitty's swing at writing erotica leaves Edward exhausted, while her editor (Dharma) finds that the work suffers when the couple plays too much. Meanwhile, Greg avoids the issue entirely by submersing himself into building a model ship.

Dharma's ritual of unburdening her sins every seven years reveals things that would be better off remaining a burden. Meanwhile, Larry convinces the Montgomerys' maid, Celia, to go on strike, leading everyone to discover how much control Celia has over Kitty's personality.

After catching Dharma innocently hanging out with her old college tutor---and failed suitor---Charlie, an enraged Greg moves out. Then the misunderstanding turns into a crisis as they both get caught up in the planning of their mutual friends' impending wedding, compelling Greg to seriously reevaluate his own crazy marriage. But when he finally sees the light, it may be too late.

Edward's mother Beatrice is dying and knows it, despite the efforts of everyone around her to deny the fact except Dharma, who argues for honesty and gets a priceless Stradivarius as a keepsake, much to the horror of Kitty who believes it belongs in a museum -- especially after everyone has heard Dharma trying to learn ""Three Blind Mice"" on the instrument. Then Dharma learns something very surprising: Edward and Kitty's marriage was a whirlwind courtship bitterly opposed by Beatrice, who has never forgiven her ""free-thinking"" daughter-in-law and refuses to pass on the family heirloom engagement ring to her. Dharma tries to help mend fences before it's too late -- then tries to respect Beatrice's dying wish to pass on the ring when it is much, much too late. In a coda, Greg is more than happy to let Dharma's violin teacher borrow the Strad for a recital, then learns Dharma has taken up the trombone instead.

When Greg rather reluctantly gives Dharma half of his on-line investment account, she becomes obsessed with profit (even borrowing from her parents), but unwisely follows a tip from a friend of Larry's and sinks everything into a San Francisco company that promptly sinks even further. When she appeals to a recently retired Edward for help, he quickly rejuvenates the business, which happens to merchandize women's fashions for men: edrag.com; but Kitty objects that Edward's golden years were reserved for her.

When Dharma's charismatic old boyfriend, Leonard, suddenly re-enters her life after a year in India, Greg finds himself extremely uncomfortable around him—especially when it becomes clear that absolutely everyone else, from Greg's parents to even Marlene, absolutely adores Leonard. Weakened by battling a bad cold, Greg is thrown for a loop when Leonard reveals that he has been celibate since he left Dharma and Dharma decides that she and Greg should give abstinence a try as well. Finally, Dharma informs everyone that they should respect Greg's wishes and not see Leonard any more—then everyone simultaneously spots Greg on television enjoying Leonard's company and his benchside basketball tickets.

Dharma's free spirit and maternal instincts are challenged when Greg's rebellious teenage niece Jennifer visits for the holidays and soon abuses her newfound friendship with her aunt. When Dharma and Jane take her along on a wacky shopping trip pretending to be monolingual German tourists, they are upset to discover that she has used them as a cover for actual shoplifting. Later when Dharma discovers that Jennifer has invited a boyfriend over unannounced, she lowers the disciplinary boom—and Jennifer runs away.

Dropping in on Kitty, Dharma instantly senses what has happened: Kitty and Edward are separating. An appalled Kitty makes Dharma promise not to tell Greg, but this well-meaning deception snowballs as Dharma's sense of guilt develops into a series of escalating fibs that draws in an uncomprehending (and protesting) Jane Seymour. We also learn something important about Dharma's macrobiotic childhood: she's a recovering secret sugar junkie!

Greg's latest legal victory leaves him depressed in the middle of the office celebration, so Dharma suggests that maybe Greg should quit and ""follow his bliss."" It turns out that Greg's suppressed passion is for cooking, so he informs his disturbed parents that he is starting a new career as a short-order cook in a hamburger joint. This prompts Edward to confession his own secret talent: hairdressing.

When Dharma decides to go to college, she meets a professor who stirs some feelings that could disrupt her marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

The pretense that everything is fine with Greg's parents finally proves too much for Dharma, who snaps during dinner at a Chinese restaurant and has the bad news served to Greg in a fortune cookie (to the absorbed interest of the Chinese family sharing their table). Trying to help the Montgomery's non-existent sex life, Dharma takes Kitty to her local neighborhood erotica store, where they naturally run into Abby and Larry. Greg and Pete take Edward for a drink to commiserate, and Edward demonstrates his ace in pick-up lines: ""Excuse me, young lady, do you have change for a million?"" Meanwhile, Jane has gone off to a Star Trek convention (""I like middle-aged men who are virgins""), leaving her pet Mr. Boots with Dharma and Greg; but Greg freaks out when he discovers that Mr. Boots is not exactly a cat.

A rather daring episode by contemporary network standards: When Jane breezes in to claim custody of Dharma's stuffed duck, Dharma explains to Greg that it's a trophy held by whoever has had sex in the unlikeliest place. Having actually fallen asleep during sex the night before, the couple decide to spice up their love life and search the city for a public place to have sex, since the rest of San Francisco will be too busy watching the finale of Seinfeld to notice. But Jane 'seduces' Pete (by painting his toenails and shaving his legs) into blabbing about their plans and sets out to sabotage their trophy win, and, after a few ironic twists, it is not Dharma and Greg who get arrested for having sex on the steps of City Hall, but Kitty and Edward! (Edward points out that the trophy is actually a goose, and Dharma calmly explains that goose wouldn't rhyme.)

When Greg hosts a poker game, Dharma takes advantage of the occasion to meet his buddies. Petty jealousies surface as she begins befriending the men and privately advising them on personal matters - including bankruptcy, impotence, and a serious crush one of the men has on Greg - and they in turn begin to full uncomfortable around Greg because he won't share his feelings with them. Upset that Dharma has taken over his friends, Greg tries to bluff her by maintaining that he has plans of his own to hang out with Jane; and when Dharma thinks this an ""awesome"" idea, he finds himself involved in a bizarre role-playing game with Jane's very bizarre friends (including the Vulcan-eared Trekkie seen at the end of episode 20). Meanwhile, Kitty and Edward are unhappily afloat in ""duck soup,"" as their swimming pool is invaded by waterfowl. Enter Abby, who is getting a Berkeley degree in ornithological intelligence. (Larry: ""It's the study of bird brains."" Kitty: ""Oh, that must be useful."")

While sunning on the roof, Dharma & Jane meet an elderly Native American who wants to die on the premises, claiming that it was his ancestors' sacred burial ground. Naturally Dharma invites him to stay with her, and naturally Greg is deeply suspicious of his motives and tails them—even to the extent of getting Pete to impersonate him at a dinner with Attorney General Janet Reno.

Gail Mancuso seems to direct all the best episodes, and this is no exception: A friendly game of strip poker between the newlyweds is interrupted by an emergency visit from Larry and Abbie (who are willing to wait a half hour until the sex is finished, an offer Greg can't accept). It turns out that their property is under siege by an unscrupulous developer who happens to be a former, and hated, classmate of Greg's. After Dharma invites the developer and his wife to dinner, then has to fight off his sexual advances, she is forced to accept Greg's viewpoint -- that he is evil -- and to seek a flattered Kitty's advice on how to get rid of him and save her parents' beloved home. The solution involves Jane, Pete, a trampoline, some garbage cans, and the IRS... and a wonderful coda using the trampoline. (In the course of the episode we also learn that Dharma has been both a magician's assistant and a professional casino dealer.)

After replacing her furniture with Greg's stored bachelor stuff, Dharma is a changed woman. But not necessarily for the better -- she becomes strangely possessed with material ambition. Meanwhile, Edward finally rebels against the fact that even his private den is entirely decorated by Kitty.

Dharma tries to sprinkle a little TLC in Greg's life by installing a new, deluxe ""Spring Mist 3000"" shower, while Greg finds himself on a testosterone-ridden golfing afternoon with Edward and Larry. Meanwhile, Kitty, misunderstanding the word ""shower,"" readies for a social event with hors d'oeuvres and formal invitations.

When Greg convinces Dharma to accompany him and Pete to a football game, despite her lifelong aversion to competitive sports, he is unprepared for her sudden and total conversion into a fanatical San Francisco 49ers fan--and the term ""fanatical"" is not used lightly. When Dharma sneaks out to a game in the middle of dinner with her parents, Greg decides she needs help, and arranges an intervention involving quarterback Steve Young.

A plumbing emergency in their apartment forces Dharma and Greg to move in temporarily with his parents, and a situation fraught with tension is made worse when the Finkelsteins decide to contemplate marriage after twenty years of unwed bliss—and Larry moves in with the Montgomerys as well.

After Dharma, Larry and Abby give a farm-full of turkeys their freedom, Dharma volunteers to make Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family in Kitty's spacious kitchen, with Jane's help (while Kitty plays it safe with a restaurant reservation). But Greg is not offering up thanks when he's the last to know that Dharma might have more than just a bird in the oven.

While spending the weekend at Dharma's parents' house, Greg fears they're in grave danger when an old family friend shows up unexpectedly -- Nunzio and Stinky dig up his skeleton in Larry's garden. Meanwhile, Larry and Abby run into Edward and Kitty on a flight to Washington and discover that Edward is testifying before Congress on an environmental issue that Larry and Abby are protesting.

While Dharma, Abby and Jane try to help a depressed Kitty struggle through her 50th birthday, Greg, Larry and Edward head off to the slopes to stage their own Winter Olympics. To head off Kitty's stated intention of immediate plastic surgery, the daffy trio persuades her to join them, big wigs and scanty dresses donned, on a mission to flirt at a navy bar. Kitty is an immediate hit - until one of the young men tells her she reminds him of his mother! Meanwhile, tobogganing down a mountainside in a canoe, at night, backwards, turns out to be the father and son bonding experience Greg and Edward never found time for.

When the financial realities of Greg's unemployment sink in, Dharma takes on a slew of new jobs and makes a deal with the devil to make ends meet: she accepts covert checks from Kitty in exchange for expanded mother/daughter-in-law time spent together. Only when Edward takes Greg to a high-power suits party while Kitty takes her to the opera to see ""Faust"" does Dharma come to her senses and rush back just in time to prevent Greg from accepting a corporate job.

Role playing at a golf shop, the couple put on fake Southern accents and wind up endearing themselves to a genuine Southerner -- who turns out to be the federal judge before whom Greg must argue a cast the next day. After an evening's panic, he decides to tough it out and wins the case hands down (while mystifying Pete). But he discovers he has succeeded only too well: Judge Harper becomes the couple's best friend and constant companion, and Greg despairs at having to keep up the pretence forever -- especially when the judge comes to meet the entire extended family.

Abby turns a blind eye when Dharma goes the extra mile to help care for the new baby in the Finklestein family.

Dharma tries to reconnect with her old life by planning a wild road trip to Mexico with her friends. When Greg decides to go along for the ride, Dharma's friends are less than pleased. Meanwhile, Larry lands a job as a night security guard with Edward's company in order to get medical insurance for the baby.

It's Dharma's birthday, but the surprise she gets isn't what Greg was planning. First his parents take them on a mock foxhunt, and the uncontrollably wild stallion at the stables becomes meek as a lamb as she as he meets Dharma (who nicknames him ""Steve""). Groom Joaquin swears it's because the horse has fallen madly in love with Dharma -- and sure enough Steve starts showing up unexpectedly (and inexplicably) at the apartment. Meanwhile, Greg's old flame Barbara (guest Coyle reprises her role from episode five) is assigned to work with him on a case with an overnight deadline, but has to go home to deal with a plumbing emergency, so Greg accompanies her, and over several hours of hard work they both fall asleep. When Dharma gets back from returning Steve to the stables, it's 3:00 am and Greg is missing, so she calls Pete, who assumes the worst and swears that Greg is passed out drunk on his floor. When Greg is late leaving work for Dharma's party and still has to stop off at the jewele

There's love amid the ruins when Dharma and Greg hold a ""do-over"" wedding to appease their families, particularly the hostile Kitty, who turns the young couple's plans for a simple party into a big country-club affair, including a formal renewal of the wedding vows. (Says Greg to Dharma: ""You know, some day our parents will be gone and we'll look back on this day and not miss them so much."") Meanwhile, Pete and Jane have a surprising encounter of their own in the cloakroom.

Experimenting to see if her parents can be trusted to mind the baby, Dharma and Greg take the baby to the movies with them, but the incessant crying annoys the patrons around them, Dharma's crying. Abby approached Kitty to see if they can agree on a compromise between their family traditions for the baby's naming ceremony, which results in a huge gathering and a minister, a rabbi, and a shaman. (Yes, they tell jokes.) Even Kitty, with the help of Larry's special cookies, gets into the swing of things; and all is happiness until a telegram arrives: Donna has changed her mind and wants the baby back.

Dharma runs into an old boyfriend (Jason Beghe) whose endless, high-flown tales of jet setting sound more and more like flights of fancy. Meanwhile, Greg's hernia becomes a popular topic for discussion and forces several trips to the doctor

Dharma tracks the missing Greg down at a seedy motel. (I missed this episode and it has not yet been rerun.)

When Dharma and Greg disagree about playing role model to their young college friend Donald, they decide to experiment with independence for the first time since their marriage began. When things finally get really tense, only an obscure dream and a visit from Abraham Lincoln can close the divide.

As Election Day approaches, Dharma and Greg's relationship hits stormy seas due to clashes over her campaign strategy. Meanwhile, an aggressive opponent may really rain on Dharma's parade.

Dharma's paranoia reaches a new height when she discovers her own prejudice against little people.

When Greg's former co-worker and ex-girlfriend Barbara is transferred back to his firm from Washington, Dharma seeks to assuage her own natural jealousy by finding a new Mr. Right for Barbara—a quest which takes on a desperate edge when Barbara confesses she is still in love with Greg.

Greg doesn't put out a welcome mat when Dharma turns their place into a temporary bed-and-breakfast.

Dharma finds herself inadvertently trying to compete with a visiting childhood friend. Dharma and September grew up together in a commune, and September has remained loyal to her nonconformist ways, such as preparing a salad with greens that ""were growing in the cracks in the sidewalk"" and singing songs taught her by Nelson Mandela. Feeling guilty over how much her own life has changed, Dharma decides to get back to basics. First, she simplifies her wardrobe; then she wonders what else she and Greg can do without—like maybe electricity, or at least Greg's beloved television (just before the Superbowl). But what worries her most is a suspicion that September may have designs on Larry. And she's right—but they're not what she fears.

Dharma realizes she should have left well enough alone when Greg's surprise party nearly brings the Finklesteins and Montgomerys to blows.

Jenna Elfman's real-life husband Bodhi Elfman guest stars as an old performance artist friend of Dharma's who convinces her to co-star with him in his latest work: To live ""on display"" in an art gallery 24 hours a day for a week. Needless to say, Greg's not thrilled with her decision, and father-in-law Larry's moving in with him doesn't help matters.

A small war breaks out as Dharma stages a protest to halt Greg's plans to enlist in the Army. But once he does, the legal eagle's stuffy style has the troops ready to boot him out of boot camp.

Kitty brings Dharma to the ground-breaking ceremony of her arch-nemesis Teensy Manhart's new outdoor amphitheater. But Dharma takes a flying leap into the path of the spade in protest when she realizes the theater's intended site is a precious wetland. Abby, Larry and Ed Begley, Jr., a well-known environmental activist, join in her protest.

Dharma's parents arrive for their weekly yoga class only to find Dharma in tears because all her other students have deserted her for the popular self-defense class across the hall. Greg's efforts to cheer her up only get them evicted from Kitty's operatic fund raising evening. Clearing out her locker, Dharma curiously wanders into the self-defense class that turns out to be run by a wacky woman named Spyder, who is promoting herself with alarmist flyers about a massive increase in crime in the neighborhood. When Dharma protests that this is a lie, Spyder intimidates her physically, then invades a depressed Dharma's nightmare about breaking her non-violent principles and retaliating. When Dharma does attempt to remonstrate with Spyder, both she and Greg get their butts kicked.

Dharma is the inspiration for her nerdy neighbor/admirer's new comic book heroine, the Blonde Tornado, a sexy, crime-fighting superwoman. While Dharma enjoys her newfound stardom, Greg's life whirls out of control after a newspaper photo of a burglary hails her as a real life hero and him as her cowardly sidekick.

Dharma decides that her accident must be a manifestation of the universe shuffling her cosmic deck of cards so that she can help people—from the hospital, physical therapy, insurance company, etc.—whom she otherwise wouldn't have met. Yet while Dharma loves giving help to others, she's not nearly as fond of accepting it for herself, even when she's in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, Greg deals with an insurance problem—the company has paid them twice by mistake, but won't listen to his attempts to explain.

Greg proposing to another woman? Dharma bringing another man home to meet the folks? This landmark flashback episode takes place six months prior to the series pilot and shows Dharma and Greg's lives before they met and married on their first date. Share in Kitty's chagrin as Greg breaks up with his debutante fiancée, and join Larry as he watches Dharma leave a great guy who ""refuses to get a job.""

At the same time that Dharma's doctor gives her permission to resume sexual relations, Greg sees their totaled car for the first time since the accident and learns that the insurance adjuster ruled it a case of reckless driving. Now completely guilt-ridden and overly cautious, Greg's unable to enjoy Dharma's romantic advances. Meanwhile, Edward wants Larry to return the rundown desk chair of his that Kitty attempted to throw out. While at first annoyed by Larry's insistence that they play games for the ownership of the chair, Edward grows to enjoy Larry's company.

Dharma tries to learn the identity of Greg's fantasy girl; Greg's truthfulness upsets things at his parents' place.

While Kitty prepares to renew her marriage vows, Dharma entertains Marlene's parents.

A heart attack scare during Larry's business pitch for his chili causes Edward to reminisce about a simpler time in his life, when he wasn't a high-pressured ""captain of industry"" merely acquiring and merging other companies. Trying to persuade him to adopt an an easier life, Dharma is taken aback when Edward seizes command of a mall sports shoe outlet owned by his company and happily settles in as a crackerjack shoe salesman—until Kitty finds out. Meanwhile, picking up papers that need Edward's signature, Greg gets a taste of what life would be like as his father's business successor; and realizes (as Kitty angrily tells Dharma) that the real reason Edward hasn't retired is because he is waiting for Greg to take his place. Dharma sympathizes with Greg about abandoning the practice he has built up over the past year—but since this seems to consist of crabby Marlene mismanaging the office and Pete ""teaching"" three gorgeous young women a ""course"" in sexual harassment, perhaps the transit

Dharma encourages Larry to ask his brother George for a loan to buy Larry's favourite conspiracy bookshop; when strange things start to go wrong, Dharma suspects that George is plotting to undermine Larry's success. Her efforts to uncover the plot mean she must undergo multiple dental procedures at George's office, but seem to be justified when the store mysteriously burns down just before the grand re-opening. Meanwhile, Kitty tries to revitalize her love life by making Edward jealous—claiming that her car attendant keeps leaving red roses on the seat for her.

Greg decides his life's fulfillment lies on the professional golf course, but Dharma isn't so sure if she should let him play through, given that Greg's journey of self-discovery may mean relocating to Scotland.

Supermodel Claudia Schiffer guest stars as Gretchen, a drop-dead gorgeous new lawyer in Greg's office about whom he's having sexual fantasies. Guilt-ridden over his inappropriate thoughts—especially since it's his ""four-and-a-half-year anniversary"" with Dharma—Greg tries desperately to get Gretchen off his mind, to no avail.

Dharma is surprised when both Jane and her parents accuse her of having changed because she is busy attending a society fundraiser with Kitty then alarmed when Kitty congratulates her on having changed to the extent that young socialites thinks she's ""a hoot and a half."" Her identity crisis is confirmed by a visit from the spirit of her Indian friend, George, who directs her to retreat to the Redwoods to find herself and conveys a cryptic message to ""save the young one."" An uncomprehending Greg reluctantly lets her go, persuading her to take Jane with her; then, upon seeing George in a dream, rushes to the woods in Larry's van to save Dharma and Jane, who have adopted a bear cub while remaining oblivious to the nearby presence of its angered mother. Best lines: George to Dharma: ""You might have mentioned that you moved. I scared some skinny guy in the shower half to death!""; Larry, fleeing from the mother bear, slips on something in the woods and mutters, ""That answers that question!""

Transportation becomes an issue for the young couple when Greg insists Dharma can use his car any time she wants but makes compulsive demands on her treatment of the vehicle. (Dharma: ""Honey, I love you, but bite me!"") So Dharma goes to a city auction with Jane and Pete and becomes the proud owner of a 1968 yellow schoolbus. Meanwhile, Abby invites the Montgomerys over for a meat dinner, and reveals that she was once romantically involved with Salazar, the featured artist at Kitty's charity exhibition. An amused Edward challenges the Finkelsteins to attend the function, which is threatened by a freak rainstorm and flood—it's 'Old Yeller' to the rescue!

Dharma agrees to play drums for a friend's teenage garage band. Meanwhile, she helps Greg through his crisis by purposefully invoking arguments with him.

A romantic Valentine's Day weekend turns out to be anything but for Dharma and Greg. It all begins when Greg downloads a travel brochure promising a cozy getaway at the Red Rose Inn in upstate snow country. Unfortunately, things don't go quite as planned. En route, they get ticketed for speeding when Greg tries to make up time lost burying a dead animal that Dharma spotted by the roadside. Worse still, when they arrive at the inn they discover it's just an ordinary little house with no snow and only a backyard trailer to accommodate guests. Meanwhile, Kitty misinterprets Larry's talk about an animal-shelter swap meet to mean wife swapping, and she and Edward find themselves strangely disturbed by the idea.

Constant interference makes Greg wish that his new law practice were a little more private, especially when Dharma keeps solving his client's problems without recourse to the law; Dharma reaches out to her landlady on behalf of the other tenants; Larry pursues an increasingly vindictive feud against his neighbor—who turns out to be his uncle.

The fifth season begins in the aftermath of last May's car crash, with both sets of parents arriving at the hospital and Dharma just out of surgery and groggy from anesthesia. The car accident has left Dharma with a fractured hip and temporarily confined to a wheelchair. Greg, who fared better with just a few minor cuts, mostly feels guilt, and tries to maintain a ""structured"" approach to Dharma's recovery which, unfortunately for her, doesn't allow for skipping physical therapy appointments in favor of wheelchair-tongue-depressor relay races down the hospital halls. For her part, Abby believes that crystals and chants around her daughter's bed might help. Larry calls it a ""healing ceremony""; Greg calls it ""voodoo.""

When Greg starts to dress and act strangely after driving the used car Dharma recently bought, she worries he's been possessed by the spirit of the car's previous owner, a petty criminal and gambler who met an untimely death. Meanwhile, Edward has Larry set up a security camera at his house to help catch the kid who eggs his house every Halloween, but the ""trick"" is still on him.

Worried that they've run out of friends, Dharma and Greg "interview" a series of potential couples to see who meets their strict requirements.

In the first part of this special one-hour season and series finale, Dharma and Greg find themselves once again trying to make peace between their polar opposite parents when an argument breaks out over whether the couple will vacation with the Finkelsteins or the Montgomerys. Dharma tries to appease both sides by arranging for everyone to spend the weekend at the Montgomerys' mountain chalet, but when the usual bickering and insults kick into high gear, it finally sends Dharma and Greg over the edge. Meanwhile, back at the office, Pete is left in charge of a routine SEC inspection, but when the agent turns out to be beautiful and female, he invents wild stories about inside trading... oh, just fast forward. (Part 1 of 2)

When Greg's competitive nature becomes destructive, Dharma exposes him to yoga, hoping to lower his stress level. After two classes, however, they both realize Greg's life is out of control when he gets into a macho ""I can do this"" contest with Pete and pulls a groin muscle. Meanwhile, Larry goes to Edward with a scheme to mass-market videos of Dharma's yoga instruction.

Animal-rights activist Abby bans Greg from the Finkelstein home when she learns he and Edward are going fishing.

Dharma becomes convinced that the ghost of a recently deceased neighbor wants to conduct some unfinished business -- and the spirit soon moves Greg in a rather carnal way.

Greg is forced to make a very embarrassing public admission when he sees the first girl he claims to have slept with and her jealous husband makes some serious threats. Meanwhile, Dharma and Greg attend the wedding of Kitty's housekeeper and offer to park cars as a wedding gift.

A visit from Kirk, a younger alumnus from Greg's law school, launches an unsuspecting Greg into the middle of a crazy college game with very specific rules developed by ""seriously drunk"" undergraduates. Despite Greg's reluctance to engage in a college prank at this stage in his life, Dharma leaves him no choice when she rallies the gang to help him win back his championship title in a relatively amusing parody of Mission: Impossible. Meanwhile, security guard Larry is disturbed when his supervisor Walter points out that he gets special treatment because his daughter is married to the boss's son. When Larry demands Edward rescind all special treatment, Walter obligingly fires Larry.

Dharma and Greg join their parents, and even Pete and Jane, on a couples' retreat. But when they repeatedly fail tests designed to demonstrate the strength of their relationship (while Pete and Jane score tops), they resort to covert measures. Meanwhile, Kitty and Edward find a weekend in the wild to be just that.

Dharma pushes her mother-in-law's fortitude to the absolute limit when she presents Kitty with an award at a country-club luncheon -- and later wrecks her car.

Greg fouls out as part of his wife's New Age softball team, while Dharma learns that Edward's sporting a new lady around town.

Abby and Larry assemble a village, which includes an African spiritual adviser, a troubadour, a storyteller who has taken a vow of silence, a lesbian lactation expert, and Jane to help Dharma and Greg with the baby. Greg is pleased, sort of, until he realizes that this entails everyone living with them during the baby's first formative years. Meanwhile, Kitty takes to her bed, convinced that her life is over now that she has become a grandmother overnight. Dharma promises to help Kitty fulfill her matriarchal ambitions by having ""a whole buttload of kids,"" but is taken aback by Kitty's first dynastic decision: to name the baby after Edward's wealthy uncle Fergus.

Faced with Kitty's midlife crisis, Dharma decides to help her fulfill her lifelong dream of winning a beauty pageant.