Who wants daiquiris??? #nofilter

The Oscar creeper sabotages Mary-Kate and Sarkozy’s date.

Mary-Kate is torn between her muscleman and her Frenchman.

Mary-Kate makes a French connection.

Butler stays abreast of Maggie Smith’s love life.

Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.

I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.

Mary-Kate gives a presentation about the Wig Party.

Bodyguard and Mary-Kate’s relationship takes a turn for the staticky.

Mary-Kate creates her own drinking game, and quickly gets sick of it.

Mary-Kate needs help with a homework assignment, and enlists the help of everyone she knows.

Mary-Kate and Jewish-Looking Girl trip into friendship.

Mary-Kate writes her teacher evaluations, and Fat Professor forms a rebuttal.

Mary-Kate’s nail art should hang in a museum.

Mary-Kate gets lost indoors and has to crack out her survival skills.

When Maggie Smith’s teacup goes handle-less, everyone’s a suspect.

Mary-Kate challenges Bodyguard to some 1am Pictionary.

Mary-Kate’s cat meows out against drugs.

Take once per day with a picture of food.

First one to fall asleep gets a hand in warm Pellegrino.

Mary-Kate sabotages Professor in front of the school board.

Mary-Kate goes to sleep to the soothing sounds of a yelling professor.

Mary-Kate and Bodyguard may have effed up and effed.

Mary-Kate loves shiny appliances! And by that she means sweaty laborers.

OMG you guys! I’m back! Did you miss me?

Cheating is so hard! I need to learn how to cheat at it.

Tricking is less calorific than treating.

My dog ate this video description.

Learning to drive is as easy as eating pie. It’s very hard.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way too talkative.

A face that only her sister could love.

I put my Louisiana Purchase on my Amex.

Ashley won’t take gross for an answer.

It’s not bulimia when you haven’t eaten.

Magazines are sooo heavy. Especially the ones with pictures of fat people.

Can’t sleep? Count sheepskin boots.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… I was shuffling around chain smoking and trying on different shoes.

War – what is it good for? Cute uniforms.

It’s freezing cold under all these layers.

I fought the law and the law was a jerk face.

Is this the duckface of a criminal?

Mary-Kate deals with life in the slammer.

I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.

My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.

Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.

I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.

Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.

I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.