M*A*S*H Episode Rating Graph

Hawkeye is sent to a mental hospital; a freak accident causes Father Mulcahy to lose his hearing; Margaret worries about her post-war plans; Charles run across a band of Chinese musicians; BJ is sent home, much to Hawkeye's dismay; Klinger decides to stay in Korea to marry Soon-Lee; a ceasefire is declared, ending the war.

Everyone is happy when Henry finds out that he is being discharged and sent home, and Hawkeye and Trapper decide to literally send him off in style...

As company clerk Radar O'Reilly reluctantly prepares to depart the 4077th, the unit is still without electricity due to a broken generator, and the operating room continues to fill up with war wounded as night falls. The responsibility for procuring a new generator falls on Klinger, who lacks Radar's masterful knack of cutting through red tape in search of much-needed supplies.

Hawkeye is appointed temporary commander of the 4077th when Colonel Potter rushes off to Tokyo on a mysterious mission. While in command, Hawkeye's main problem is housing a large group of Korean refugees comprised mainly of rambunctious children who need medical care.

Hawkeye, B.J., and Margaret try to save the life of a critically injured solider so that his family won't think of Christmas as the day that their father died. Meanwhile, Winchester fulfills a family Christmas tradition but has trouble maintaining the anonymity required to keep it a truly charitable act. Even Klinger lends a hand.

Psychiatrist Sidney Freedman composes a letter to Sigmund Freud during a visit to the 4077, while the rest of the camp endures the hijinks of a mystery prankster.

Talk of a post-war reunion gives BJ an idea- planning a present-day stateside gathering of 4077th families. He continues to obsess with the idea even under the duress of bug-out instigated by a Chinese breakthrough. Also, Klinger fears that the party will blow his cover, as his mother doesn't know he's stationed in Korea.

A no-nonsense Colonel, who is notorious as a hard-nosed disciplinarian, visits the 4077th during an outbreak of April Fools' Day pranksterism. Colonel Potter tries in vain to halt the mayhem before Colonel Tucker arrives in camp.

Tired of their constant complaints about the quality of recreational activities at the 4077th, Colonel Potter appoints Hawkeye and B.J. as the new morale officers. Winchester's morale has already reached a new peak: He's ecstatic about his operation on a wounded soldier, Sheridan, which saved the boy's leg, leaving only "negligible" side effects - less use of his right hand. However, the soldier was a concert pianist before the war, so Winchester obtains music written by Maurice Ravel for a pianist that had lost a hand in World War I.

On New Year's Eve, the staff looks back on the highlights of 1951: The doctors invent an artificial kidney machine; Mulcahy plants a garden; Margaret takes up knitting; and Klinger and Winchester bet on which baseball team will win the pennant.

Hawkeye goes to help at an aid station, and under heavy shelling he draws up a will, leaving various items to his friends at the 4077th.

After losing to the Marines once again, Colonel Potter wishes there was one sport the 4077th were any good at. When Klinger mentions he can bowl, the Colonel decides to have a bowling competition. Unfortunately, he and Klinger are the only 2 good bowlers in the camp, so BJ and Father Mulcahy are "recruited" to the team. Colonel Potter becomes obsessed with winning the game, and excludes Margaret from the team because she helped the team lose at softball. Then the 4077th team hear the Marines have got a "ringer" in their team after pulling some strings..... Meanwhile, Hawkeye finds out his father is in hospital and tries to speak to him over the phone, watched by Charles, who envies Hawkeye's close relationship with his father.

Margaret and Hawkeye work on a time capsule to commemorate their time in Korea; Rizzo and BJ goof around with a fake hand grenade; Klinger becomes smitten with a young, pretty Korean war criminal.

Hawkeye creates a fake doctor, Captain Jonathan S. Tuttle, to give supplies to the local orphans. Henry wants Tuttle to be officer of the day, so Hawkeye creates a fake personnel file, and all his back pay is given to the orphanage. When General Clayton wants to reward his generosity, Hawkeye is forced to invent a story about Tuttle jumping from a chopper without his parachute! Of course, Trapper's new friend, Captain Murdoch, obtained the fake dog tags and parachute...!

At the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M.A.S.H) unit in Korea, two army doctors by the names of Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntyre receive some exciting news in the mail. Their Korean house boy, Ho-John got accepted into Hawkeye's old college. Hawkeye and Trapper decide to hold a party filled with music, dancing, and alcohol to raise money for Ho-John's plane trip to the U.S. They achieve this by raffling off a weekend pass with a nurse, Lieutenant Dish for R&R in Tokyo.

Charles returns to the 4077th after a trip to Tokyo with an uncharacteristic hangover and the uneasy feeling of a romantic entanglement. Meanwhile, the hospital struggles to find a cure for an outbreak of deadly hemorrhagic fever.

Tired of reminders about Trapper John's skill as a practical joker, B.J. bets Hawkeye he can prank everyone present.

Hawkeye, Houlihan, and Klinger go to an aid station at the front. Working closely together under heavy fire and unsanitary medical conditions, the three return to camp with new found respect for one another.

Potter sends for Sidney Freedman when he loses confidence in his surgical abilities, and Winchester loses patience with his bunkmates' sloppiness.

Father Mulcahy writes a pre-Christmas letter to his sister, who is a nun. He recounts his frustrations at not being more effective at the 4077th.

Hawkeye and BJ race against the clock to save a soldier from paralysis. BJ harvesting an aorta from a dead soldier doesn't sit well with the soldier's friend.

Members of the 4077th share their impressions of war in response to letters from fourth graders in Hawkeye's hometown. Margaret writes about how there are some patients she will never forget, whilst the Colonel tells of his days as 'Hoops' Potter. Hawkeye: "Dear Ronnie, it's a shame to let the love you have for your brother turn to hate for others. Hate makes war, and war is what killed Keith. I understand how you feel. Sometimes I hate myself for being here. But sometimes in the midst of all this insanity, the smallest thing can make my being here seems worthwhile. Maybe the best answer I have for you is that you look for good wherever you can find it."

Klinger and BJ both have Radar related woes, causing them to go on a drinking binge. A drunken BJ becomes violent with Hawkeye.

On leave in Tokyo, Radar is desperately needed back at the crisis-stricken 4077th, but his return is delayed by outside events. While casualties continue to pour in from the front, the 4077th's generator conks out, and the backup has been stolen, depriving the medical unit of all electrical power. But Klinger, filling in for the vacationing Radar, lacks the expertise and experience to wheel and deal for a new machine.

Hawkeye and B.J. refuse to shower until Charles stops playing his French horn, and Colonel Potter deals with a patient who wants to kill himself because he is now disfigured.

Frank settles in as commanding officer, only to have a new one appointed over his head, one that, to his chagrin, fits in very well.

Hawkeye volunteers to deliver the eulogy for a dead nurse that he briefly dated, and belatedly discovers her deep feelings for him.

Margaret develops a case of prickly heat, Charles does his tax returns, and Klinger takes the P.A. apart - just some of the events, which occur during another unendurably, hot night at the 4077th.

Hawkeye and the crew surprise Colonel Potter with a party to commemorate Mildred's final payment on the couple's mortgage.

Hawkeye and BJ lose their way while rushing urgently needed antibiotics to the 4077th, which is wracked with low-mileage Thanksgiving turkey-induced salmonella. Wandering back to M*A*S*H, the pair are found by a peculiar North Korean soldier.

A military strategist refuses to accept responsibility for the war games that have mortally wounded his own son. And Margaret develops laryngitis, as she is about to meet her hero, Dr. Chesler.

Colonel Potter turns crotchety when he catches the mumps, and his condition is worsened when Winchester gets the same disease and has to be quarantined with him. A temporary replacement surgeon, Newsome, is quickly brought into the 4077th and seems to be a gem in terms of both personality and ability.

After Charles is nearly felled by a sniper's bullet, he develops a philosophical obsession with death. Meanwhile, the officers have all been assigned new responsibilities.

A wounded GI learns a painful lesson when he forms a recovery room friendship with the enemy soldier he's critically wounded. Soldier: "My boots. All he wanted was my lousy boots. His feet were freezing. I'd have done the same thing. He was just a guy like me, and I shot him. I killed him, for a pair of boots. How can I ever look at a pair of shoes again without thinking of him?"

The 4077th is given a gift of fresh-grown vegetables by a grateful Korean; and Potter questions the veracity of an upbeat letter from Radar.

Winchester is sent to inspect sanitary conditions on the frontlines, while the rest of the camp plans a surprise anniversary party for B.J.

Hawkeye is temporarily blinded while trying to fix the nurses' furnace, and Frank finds a sure-fire way to win bets on baseball games.

Posing the theory that people will believe in anything, Charles and Hawkeye start a rumor that Marilyn Monroe plans to visit the 4077th, which gets everyone excited. Meanwhile, B.J. feels responsible when he's unable to rescue a wounded soldier, and is less than impressed when he is presented with a Bronze Star.

Angered by the way civilian doctors in the States are profiting from the war, Hawkeye presents the Army with a bill for his medical services. Meanwhile, Charles reluctantly demonstrates American medical practices to three Korean medics, and is on the receiving end of their medical expertise.

Charles has a serious toothache, but hates the thought of having anything done about it. The doctors suspect prejudice when an inordinate number of black casualties are brought in from a single unit, led by Major Weems.

Klinger discovers that his duties as company clerk include catering to the eccentric whims of the 4077th officers. Consequently, the unusual demands by Klinger's superiors leave little time to write a letter home to Toledo. Meanwhile, the Doctors are concerned about a young soldier who appears to be mentally deficient.

Hawkeye undergoes a drastic change when he becomes temporary commander of the 4077th, and learns about the tedious bureaucracy and accompanying headaches that Colonel Potter deals with daily.

Radar has always looked up to Hawkeye and admired him as his hero. But after suffering a Jeep accident en route to R&R at Hawkeye's behest. Radar questions his own hero worship. Particularly when he and his hero have a falling out.

Hawkeye writes home, describing Christmas in Korea: Radar ships a jeep home, a piece at a time; Henry gives the monthly lecture on sex, with the aid of figure A and figure B; Trapper helps deliver a calf; Klinger and Frank get into a fight, but Father Mulcahy smoothes things over; Hawkeye and Trapper sabotage Margaret's tent; Hawkeye flies to the front line dressed as Santa, to help a wounded soldier.

Hawkeye becomes so disgusted with the stalled Panmunjon peace talks that he impulsively takes matters into his own hands, and goes to the meetings to lend a hand.

The Army tries to get a North Korean pilot to defect, and Charles gets a rude shock when he falls for a French nurse with a Bohemian past.

Margaret and her nursing staff are about to be inspected by Col. Bucholz. Meanwhile, Kellye is offended that Hawkeye is attracted to any nurse except her.

A baby born to a Korean woman and an American GI is abandoned at the 4077th. Knowing that Amer-Asian children are often mistreated in Korean society, the troop sets about the frustrating task of finding a new home for the infant.

B.J. finds himself attracted to a famous war correspondent, Aggie O'Shea, who has fallen in love with him.

Frank throws his back out whilst spending the evening with Margaret, and ends up in traction. He promptly applies for the Purple Heart, having been 'technically' wounded at a frontline unit. Tommy Gillis, an old friend of Hawkeye's, is writing a book about the war, and pays him a visit. Later, Tommy is brought into the camp, seriously wounded, and Hawkeye can't save him. A 15-year-old kid is in the hospital to have his appendix out. He joined up to be a hero back home, but Hawkeye has him sent home, giving him Frank's purple heart.

Clete Roberts introduces this segment as his show; he's arrived at Korea to interview the staff of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital because of its high 97% efficiency rating. In Roberts' interviews with Hawkeye, BJ, Frank, Radar, Klinger, Mulcahy and Potter, they talk about how they cope with their situation, what they miss about home, how they feel about who they work with, and whether they see any good in coming from war.

Margaret takes off in the middle of the night to help deliver a Korean baby. Nobody knows of her whereabouts, and Colonel Flagg is brought in to help investigate her disappearance.

Klinger saves Winchester's life when an explosion rocks the operating room; and B.J. is reluctant to reveal the extent of his injuries after the blast.

Irritated that the 4077th is planning a "surprise" party for him, Hawkeye volunteers to go to the aid of a wounded surgeon at the front. An additional irritant to Hawkeye is the arrival of Dr. Borelli, a wisecracking medical advisor with whom he habitually disagrees.

The sinister Colonel Flagg pops up at the 4077th again, playing his usual spy games, convinced that Hawkeye is a communist sympathizer, after he saves the life of a North Korean soldier. Also, an American soldier is less than impressed.

Trapper is shipped home while Hawkeye is on R&R. Hawkeye speeds to Kimpo with Radar to catch Trapper's plane, but they just miss him. While they are there, they pick up BJ Hunnicut and take him back to camp. On the way back, BJ is introduced to the Korean War.

The MASH 4077 is visted by General Steele. He wishes to move the camp 5 miles down the road. Hawkeye and Henry are charged with mutiny. And Hawkeye is also charged with impersonating a reporter.

Hawkeye is the golden boy of the world press when he treats a celebrity prizefighter, 'Gentleman' Joe Cavanaugh, who has a stroke at the 4077th. Father Mulcahy finds the news hard to take, as Cavanaugh was a hero of his.

When Hawkeye's father is notified that he's dead, he finds it's no easy matter either to get word to him or to establish otherwise.

The 4077th evacuation to a nearby cave to, avoid U.S. artillery fire on a Chinese target, poses problems for Hawkeye, who has a claustrophobia problem that Colonel Potter is unaware of. On the other hand, Margaret hates loud noises. And then there's the problem of a seriously wounded soldier...

Hawkeye is overcome by the devotion of a terminally ill G.I., who has leukemia, for his critically wounded buddy, but he has trouble coming to terms with the fact that he can't cure the man. Meanwhile, Father Mulcahy is worried about the impending visit of a Cardinal.

Radar is driving Hawk, B.J., Sherman, and Frank in a bus back from a "medical conference" when they get lost. They stop to see if they can find anything they recognize. When they decide to turn around, they find that the bus does not want to start. Radar goes off in the middle of the night for the latrine, and does not immediately return. Stricken, Hawkeye wants to set out to find him, only to be stopped by Sherman. An injured Korean surrenders to get medical help from Hawk and B.J.. Upon Radar return, the Korean helps repair the bus and get them out of danger.

Charles becomes so irate, when he is turned down for a future medical position at home, that he refuses to talk to anyone in the unit, until Hawkeye and B.J. send him a false telegram from home. Meanwhile, a young soldier, Jerry Wilson, can't remember his own identity, so Sidney Freedman is called for help.

Father Mulcahy counsels a GI who is plagued by guilt because he has swapped tags with a dead colleague. Meanwhile, B.J. and Charles consider ways of keeping a soldier-salesman quiet.

Klinger's army newspaper reports on Hawkeye's monument to military stupidity; a giant tower made from a half million erroneously shipped tongue depressors.

A flu epidemic leaves yet-to-be infected Hawkeye and Margaret more overworked than ever.

A typical day in the life of Rosie's bar, complete with AWOL problem drinkers, a bound and gagged Winchester, and a gambling scheme.

Father Mulcahy, troubled by his lack of experience at the front, insists on accompanying Radar for an errand there.

In this unique episode, the camera becomes the eyes of a young wounded soldier. It records his sensory responses to being wounded, flown by helicopter to the 4077th, examined, operated on, and treated in post-operation.

Margaret has trouble pretending she's a chip off the old block when her dad, blood and guts "Howitzer" Al Houlihan, arrives for a visit. Also, Hawkeye fixes up a soldier who repays them with a large side of steak, but the general who it belongs to is really steamed.

Its quid pro quo at the 4077th: two bottles of Scotch for secret surgery, and a tank to scare off snipers for an unauthorized shot of penicillin.

To boost post-yuletide morale on Dec 26, Potter has the officers and enlisted men change places for the day.

Klinger buys a goat, with the intention of getting rich by selling it's milk. Then the goat eats the 4077th's $22,340 payroll, leaving paymaster Hawkeye holding the bag. Meanwhile, Charles also thinks he can make a killing when he sees an ancient vase.

An inept, if punctual, bomber pilot provides comic relief for Hawkeye and Trapper, but inspires Frank to call out the heavy artillery.

Sick and tired of having liver and fish for an 11-day stretch, Hawkeye, driven near to insanity, starts a riot in the mess tent. He and Trapper then orders spare ribs and sauce from the best place he ever had them, in Chicago. Trapper calls a woman he spent a weekend with to pick up the ribs, and then they get choppered in. Unfortunately, right as they're sitting down to eat, wounded arrive, and Hawkeye is forced to postpone sinking his teeth into his beloved ribs.

Newscaster Clete Roberts, reprising an earlier interview appearance, returns to update Korean War conditions, when he conducts a series of television talks with the leading characters of the 4077th.

Hawkeye is injured in a jeep accident and, aware he has a concussion, babbles to a Korean family to keep himself awake.

A touring USO show brings an unexpected touch of vaudeville to the 4077th when the star showgirl requires an emergency operation. And wouldn't you know, the comedian is Klinger's hero!

Henry returns from Tokyo in love with a woman half his age, but he seems to have forgotten one thing--he's married.

A local farmer claims the 4077th is on his land, and a Korean woman claims Radar is the father of her child.

Captain Kaplan is to be shipped home, but becomes paranoid that something will happen to him before he leaves. He takes the wheel of the jeep to drive to Kimpo himself, but crashes and ends up in plaster. Henry's wife is in labor and gives birth while he has Radar calling the hospital every 5 mins.An entertainer, Jackie Flash, visits the camp to entertain the troops.

Mail call inspires Hawkeye and Trapper to play on Frank's greed, and Klinger's letters from home cover everything from death to pregnancy.

B.J. falls off the fidelity wagon while trying to provide consolation to a nurse whose marriage has just ended. But will he confess his infidelity to his wife?

To save the life of an elderly local who rejects an operation because he believes bad spirits surround the 4077th, Colonel Potter permits a Korean exorcism.

With the arrival of a shipment of records, Radar plays the part of a disc jockey and helps to get everyone through the incredibly long deluge of wounded.

The 4077th is deluged with patients and their individual medical histories. Then they run out of blood and everyone is donating at 48-hour intervals.

A lone sniper turns the hospital compound into a combat zone, traps Henry and Radar in the showers and forces surgery by candlelight after he knocks out the generator.

Radar gets a Dear John recording from home. Hawkeye and Trapper try to set him up with a date, but fail. Radar is taken by a new nurse at the camp and she is into poetry and music, so they coach him. Margaret wants to stop the relationship, so Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl.

The 4077th has an outbreak of hepatitis and Hawkeye needs to inoculate the reluctant staff while dealing with back pain.

The arrival of a wounded Korean woman sparks a conflict at the 4077th: Hawkeye wants to heal her, but a steely ROK officer, Lt. Park, is more anxious to "question" her about alleged guerilla activities.

General Clayton calls to say that a ceasefire is to be declared. The camp celebrates, Klinger gives away his dresses and locals start to take pieces of the camp. But Trapper does not believe it. Hawkeye claims he is married to avoid promises he made to several nurses. The party to celebrate the cease-fire, which never really took place, is interrupted by incoming wounded.

Hawkeye learns a patient was beaten up in his unit because he's homosexual, and Frank wants the soldier drummed out of the Army.

A private with a prominent proboscis pleads for prohibited plastic surgery--but Frank and Margaret smell a rat.

Madness strikes as B.J. and his old friend Bardonaro play a series of practical jokes on each other, just as Bardonaro is about to leave Korea. Hawkeye gets the last laugh. He sends Bardonaro off without his traveling papers, and in a jeep with too little gas.

The 4077th hosts a traditional Korean wedding, much to Frank's objections. And Colonel Potter runs into an old friend who has put his troops in jeopardy so that he could receive a promotion.

Radar notices a number of tattoos on one of the wounded, and convinces himself that with a tattoo he will be irresistible to women. Everyone tries to discourage him, and he admits to having received a tattoo that will wash off. Meanwhile, Margaret is frustrated with a new nurse who keeps getting upset at the sight of combat injuries.

A former star college football player suffers a severe leg injury in combat and must deal with the consequences, and Major Burns goes behind Colonel Potter's back to set up a boxing match between Klinger and Zale.

Mail from home worries Henry that Lorraine may be seeing other men. Father Mulcahy presides over a Jewish circumcision ceremony for the Korean-born son of a US GI.

The military police think they've solved a rash of thefts at the 4077th when they apprehend Klinger with Hawkeye's stolen camera.

Depressed by news from home, Margaret examines her life and decides to request a transfer.

A fouled radio call for help on a crossword puzzle leads to a senior officer coming to the 4077th to help with a supposed serious medical problem.

Henry's departure to Tokyo leaves Major Burns in charge of the 4077th. He declares total prohibition of alcohol, which leads to a near riot amongst the camp, especially from Hawkeye and Trapper.

On a sub-note, Klinger plays the part of a voodoo practioner to try and get out of the army.

Gen. Clayton sends a psychiatrist to the 4077th to gauge the camp's cohesiveness and fitness as a unit.

Hawkeye writes a heartfelt letter to President Harry Truman to protest at the continued fighting in Korea. Meanwhile, Colonel Ditka has promised a much-needed water-heater if the 4077th beautifies the camp.

Hawkeye cuts through red tape to help a GI marry his child's Korean mother, and cuts romantic ties with a bigoted nurse.

The nurses go to extremes lengths to find a date for Nurse Eddie - they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals.

Colonel Flagg blows into camp trying to obtain penicillin to barter for information. But Flagg comes down with appendicitis, and the only penicillin he gets is in the keister.

Hawkeye is reunited with a woman he thought was out of his life forever, but who never altogether leaves.

Hawkeye and Trapper prevent a GI from marrying a call girl who has TB, whilst trying to help a Korean soldier join his pregnant wife. Radar, of course, provides his usual invaluable help.

Hot Lips, believing herself to be pregnant, asks Hawkeye to test her. The only rabbit available to use for the test is Radar's pet, Fluffy. Meanwhile, Martinson, a patient, holds Charles at gunpoint, demanding he be sent back to Ohio.

Potter decides Frank would be less of a pain if the others were friendlier to him; they oblige, with some startling results.

Radar gets the help of Hawkeye and B.J. to procure something Colonel Potter says he's fond of, but that's hard to come by - tomato juice.

B.J. almost becomes the surrogate father to a Korean family. Finding them a substitute for his own absent family, B.J. spends so much time with them that his medical efficiency begins to suffer, and Hawkeye worries about his health. B.J.: "First they take me from my wife and kid, and just when I find something to help fill the gap, they take that away, too."

As usual Frank's normal drone of verbal abuse upsets Ginger, so Hawkeye puts his arm in a cast while he is asleep. Frank puts in for a transfer, and after a broadcast goes out of Frank telling Margaret he's leaving, she decides to leave as well. As a result, Col. Blake puts both Hawk and Trap on double post-op duty until he finds replacements for Majs. Burns and Houlihan. Unwilling to lose their two favorite patsies, and to be worn to a frazzle from doing 2 shifts in O/R, Hawkeye and Trapper hatch a scheme to prevent Frank and Hot Lips from leaving. That night, Hawkeye and Trapper pretend they have found gold, letting Frank overhear them. Frank then withdraws his request when he thinks he's found gold himself, although the joke is on him when he finds, amongst other things, a gilded jeep!

Charles plans a scheme to get rich when he discovers that blue scrip is going to be exchanged for red. Hawkeye and B.J. outsmart him, and he is left holding the worthless scrip. Klinger tries to get into West Point so that he can get out of Korea.

Hawkeye falls in love with Kyong Soon, a Korean woman who is caring for her sick mother and orphaned children. But all hope is lost as Kyong takes her possessions and the children to the south after her mother has died.

Potter's attempts to assemble the crew for a family portrait are thwarted by a feud between bunkmates Pierce, Hunnicutt, and Winchester. Things are not helped by the efforts of Margaret, Klinger and Mulcahy to bring the Swampmen back together.

Potter must deal with an old Army friend who is getting his own soldiers killed through his incompetency.

Hawkeye and BJ try to stop a chopper pilot from selling souvenirs derived from war materials derived from locals facing danger getting them, and Klinger becomes a pole-sitter in his latest attempt to get a Section Eight.

The nurses are evacuated when the threat of an enemy parachute drop arises. Hawkeye and Trapper try to enliven everyone's spirits whilst they are gone. Hawkeye: "The plot thins. Watch the cake sue for malpractice when Frank cuts into it."

Once again, Hawkeye writes home to his father, telling him of the latest gossip: the camp gets a new surgeon, who turns out to be a fake; Hawkeye bets he can walk into the mess tent naked for lunch, and no one will notice; Radar cheats on his final exam from the High School diploma company; Margaret rejects Franks advances and he gets drunk late into the night; the camp have a no talent night.

General 'Iron Guts' Kelly arrives for an inspection, and ends up dying in Margaret's tent. Hawkeye and Trapper help the General's aide smuggle him out of camp. The next day he is reported killed at the front, as that is where he would have wanted to die.

Radar becomes an aspiring writer after ordering a flier from a comic book, and Hawkeye and B.J. give Frank a surprise birthday present that only he will appreciate.

A wave of conservation hits the 4077th after a vital supply line is cut, creating a variety of shortages.

Something smells rank at the 4077th, and it might be the new officers' club--from which enlisted types are barred.

With supplies low, the 4077th gets a truckload of ice cream churns and salt tablets. But what it needs are light bulbs, and in the dimly lit post-op Charles makes an error for which he draws the ultimate wrath of his two surgeon bunkmates. Meanwhile, B.J. receives a mystery novel that everyone in camp reads in turn. The last page is missing and the solution to the mystery is undiscovered until B.J. calls the author by long distance.

It's instant attraction for Hawkeye when a beautiful Swedish doctor, called Inga, arrives to observe combat surgery. That is, until she upstages him in the operating room with a superior technique, and his ego is bruised.

Colonel Potter, deciding that the camp is out of shape, enforces a calisthenics course. When nobody is enjoying it, he makes it fun by splitting the camp into two teams. These teams compete for three day R&R passes. Klinger tries to get out of the army by getting fat.

Another letter from Hawkeye to his father tells about a bigoted soldier who wants the "right color" blood, a live grenade in the OR and Henry's home movies.

The camp prepares for a visit from General MacArthur. Klinger dresses as the Statue of Liberty as the General's jeep drives through the camp. MacArthur is so impressed, he salutes!

Hawkeye is outraged when a sensationalistic war correspondent, Clayton Kibbee, reports irresponsible G.I. stunts as tales of military valor. Kibbee: "As for the last two pints of blood, there's no big finale, no heroes. They helped an old soldier, who'd had visions of glory but finally got it through his thick head how tragic and inhumane war can be. Maybe he'll know better next time."

Hawkeye uses a bottle of vintage wine to lure unsuspecting nurses into his den; and Potter tries to secure a different sort of anesthetic when the army threatens to ban a painkiller.

Hawkeye's quest for new boots turns into a never-ending game of horse trading.

Colonel Bloodworth threatens to press court-martial charges against Hawkeye, who shoved him in the bar. But then he becomes a patient and witnesses Hawkeye's skills. Klinger bonds with a patient from his hometown.

In need of a special surgical clamp, Hawkeye and B.J. hire Mr. Shin, a local jewelry dealer, to make it. Days later the clamp is used to save the leg of a wounded soldier. Mr. Shin goes into the surgical supply business.

B.J. and Hawkeye resolve to clear Klinger's name after he chooses Winchester to defend him at his military court-martial.

John Hodges, a chopper pilot referred to as The Cowboy because of his gun holster belt and cowboy hat, has been hit in the shoulder, and arrives at the 4077th. He is expecting a letter--he's worried his wife Jean at home is leaving him for another man ("She's probably off with some rodeo rider; she's a sucker for a 10-gallon hat!"). He wants to go home, but Henry refuses, stating Cowboy's wound isn't serious enough to merit a stateside ticket. Bad luck then follows Henry Blake like the seat of his pants: he gets shot at while golfing, his tent gets flattened by a driverless jeep, and the latrine explodes while he's inside. The Cowboy offers to fly Henry to Seoul and then threatens to shove him out! The letter finally arives for Cowboy, assuring he is loved. Hawkeye and Trapper uses the radio to convince The Cowboy to spare Henry's life and come down, at which they succeed.

Hawkeye and Trapper receive high-level flak when they buck the brass to report the "friendly fire" shelling of a South Korean village.

With a temporary transfer of personnel between the 4077th and the 8063rd, Captain Roy Dupree replaces Hawkeye, whilst Lorraine Anderson makes eyes at Charles. Fearing this to be permanent, Charles and B.J. successfully conspire to have Dupree permanently removed from the 4077th. Charles (to Hawkeye): "God, I missed you!"

A Congressional aide, Williamson, visits the 4077th on a supposedly routine fact-finding tour, but it's discovered that his motives are far deeper - too uncover Margaret as a communist sympathizer. His case is full of innuendo, so the gang set out to help Margaret.

Lost behind enemy lines, Hawkeye and Margaret form a personal truce and seek shelter in a roadside hut.

Hawkeye and Trapper operate on a famous Colonel - after discovering that he is particularly ruthless about sacrificing his men, they come up with a scheme to get him sent back to the states with a little unwitting help from Frank, Margaret, and a drunk Henry.

The camp is under fire and is swamped with wounded. They are being attacked by their own artillery in a frightening "friendly fire" incident. Trapper and Margaret get trapped in the Supply Tent together. Frank's jealousy of Trapper drives him to propose to Margaret.

With British and American casualties heavy, the 4077th's supply of penicillin has been stolen. Father Mulcahy discovers, from Corporal Bryant, the location of some penicillin, and he and Klinger go out in search of it. They are shot at, but safely return with the drug and save the day.

Trapper and Hawkeye seek to keep a new nurse from being transferred by Hot Lips, and they vie for her affection. Henry Blake, challenged by another commander to a boxing tournament, makes Trapper fight a big, intimidating soldier in exchange for keeping the nurse at the 4077th. Hawkeye and Ugly John employ the use of a glove soaked with ether to insure Trapper's victory, which impresses the nurse. Margaret and Frank's attempts to unfix the match collapses, as they are flattened by the unconscious boxer!

Frank buys two sets of pearls, one for Margaret and one for his wife. After some talk, Radar gets Hawkeye $3,000 in lost earnings, Hawkeye gives it to Mulcahy for the orphans, but then the army wants the money back. Trapper wins big at poker after using Hawkeye's watch as a stake, so Hawkeye takes his winnings to avoid a stay in the honeymoon suite of The Stockade Hilton.

Camp activities include Henry's nervous delivery of a sex lecture, with Hawkeye's and Trapper's heckling, a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout.

Following an offer of promotion made by Master Sergeant Woodruff at a poker game, Radar is promoted to the rank of lieutenant. Finding this position awkward, Radar opts to return to his position as an enlisted man.

Trapper gets an ulcer and a ticket home. Unfortunately, his going-away party is spoiled by a new Army regulation, which forces him to stay.