Washington enters talks with the people of Real America. Whenever news happens, Brooke Alvarez is fearless in her pursuit of the truth, going to any length to bring America the news.

A report on sex in America.

FactZone introduces its newest piece of technology: an updated touchscreen that Tucker can control with his mind. Unfortunately for Tucker, the new "Brainwall" starts to display Tucker's darkest thoughts. Also, O'Brady's compassion for stray earthquake victims goes a little too far, when he starts "mercifully" killing dogs to relieve them after the disaster. Brooke reports on a coma-bound Republican Presidential candidate who is polling surprisingly well due to his lack of politically disastrous gaffes, and Rapper Kanye West faces down the nation of Syria in a Twitter battle over who was chanting first.

The network morning show stages a very special takeover.

As America responds to news that the American Dream has died, Brooke Alvarez provides the news you need to survive in this terrible, frightening world.

The studio gains artificial intelligence and falls in love with Brooke, millions across the country are dangerously trapped in an Animal Hoarders marathon, and Jean Anne Whorton investigates the cruel underground blood sport of spouse fighting.

A revealing documentary airs on public television about Brooke Alvarez's secret life as a Russian child cosmonaut . Brooke is forced to relive the traumatizing experience of being trapped in a space shuttle with a vicious chimpanzee named Mr. Dmitry. Also, the U.S. government hires the genius behind Zico coconut water to try to help America out of its economic hole and a prostitute is caught paying Mitt Romney for sex.

One of the network's beautiful reporters is kidnapped and Onion News Network leaps into action. Brooke Alvarez runs down the big stories of the day. Tucker Hope delivers the Daily Briefing on a high-tech screen.

When Wall Street panics after a stock market crash, Brooke Alvarez explores the story in depth.

Brooke Alvarez oversees reporters from her vantage point in the FactZone.

FactZone says goodbye to legendary newsman, Brandon Armstrong, who was killed in a brothel fire. Shelby Cross admonishes parents not to let their children trick-or-treat during Halloween, or what she refers to as the "Pedophiles' Christmas." Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, asks the tough questions about a search and rescue mission's dismal chances of finding missing hikers and the First Responders react to the latest GOP debate, that they may or may not have even watched.

A breaking news report reveals the president has been kidnapped. In the FactZone, Brooke Alvarez provides viewers with the latest news from around the world, except for the countries no one cares about.