The Kids in the Hall Episode Rating Graph

This Season 5 Best-Of Compilation features fan-favorite sketches: God is Dead, Chicken Lady at the Mall, Hillbilly's Problem, The Convenience Store Worker, Meet Your New Male Slave, and Disgusting Old Man.

The feathers go flying when the Chicken Lady spots Rooster Boy; Cabbie has his own set of road rules; some cops have more important things to discuss than a dead body.

Sketches: - Thousand Dollars: Song in a western bar. - Cops - Towing: Ticketing my car. - Decorator #1: A man gets a demon to brighten up his apartment. - Headcrusher - Rival: A battle to the death. - Shortest: They haven't got a clue. - Bellini Finale: Bellini gets touched. - Cops - Graveyard: First traffic ticket. - Governor: A governor talks with hooker. - Ham Of Truth: It's F-ing good ham. - Decorator #2: Credits

The Test-Tube Baby (SD)(5): man complains about being a test-tube baby • Kathie & Dry Cleaner (BMSK)(5): Kathie sleeps with dry cleaner (Kathie, Cathy, Tanya, Secretary, Bigot Cabbie) • Whores (DSK)(5): first timer (Whores, Rudy) • Starving Street Singers (BKM)(5): street singers look for food (Street Singers) • Communist Threat (DK)(5): man talks about the communist threat • Whores (SK)(5): Maudre pretends to be Rudy's wife (Maudre, Rudy) • Man's Girlfriend's Jobs (all)(5): man who wants girlfriends with various jobs

Fight-Picking Guy - This Close (SD)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight • Weston & Virgil in 1972 (SMB)(5): Weston & Virgil at school in 1972 (Weston Esterhazy, Virgil) • Power-Mad after Promotion (KDM)(5): mail clerk gets promoted and goes power-mad • Sick about Crime (D)(5): experienced cop gets sick about lawbreakers • Laundromat Business Opportunities (MB)(5): businessman tries to lease underwear • Fight-Picking Guy - Up Your Craw (SK)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight • Post-Apocalypse Poets (KMB)(5): post-apocalypse poets smokes pot and writes songs • Fight-Picking Guy - Hey! (SM)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight • Coal-Shoveler with Angst (BM)(5): coal shoveler questions life

Sketches: Cops - Prisoner: Episode 205 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- Suspect is locked in car. Comfortable: Episode 201 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Nina Spudkneeyak, Nina's husband - In short- Nina's husband makes a "pass" at his old friend's wife. Trapper: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Francois, Jacques - In short- The French-Canadian trappers who trap businessmen for their suits. Painting A Chair: Episode 207 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Gavin - In Short- There's this guy and he's paintin' a chair. Cops - Shootout: 205 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- A standoff outside a house. Chicken Lady: Episode 205 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Chicken Lady - In short- Man answers her personal ad. Simon & Hecubus: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Sir Simon Milligan, Hecubus, Satan - In short- Hecubus proves he is impolite and evil; Satan likes the show. Cops - Dad: Episode 209 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- Never told his Dad he loved him. Hazy Movie: Episode 220 - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones - In Short- Man in a bar tries to explain a Francesca Fiore movie. Eating In The Shower: Episode 210 - Stars- Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Over the credits, Kevin eats in the shower.

Sketches: Fact #1: Episode 213 - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl - In short- Her uncle Tony can spit really far. Headcrusher - Rival: Episode 217 - Stars- Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Mr. Tyzik aka "The Headcrusher" - In short- There can be only one. Off Swingin': Episode 201 - Stars- n/a - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- The most handsome man in the world. Daddy Drank: Episode 209 - Stars- Dave, Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- A story about how Daddy drank. The Affair: Episode 214 - Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Darrill - In short- Story of the secret affair. Fact #2 - Queen's ABC's: Episode 211 - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl, Queen - In short- The Queen sings her ABCs. The Doctor: Episode 201 - Stars- Dave - Recurring Characters- Bad Doctor - In short- He's not boosting, he's just stating a fact. A Little Something: Episode 203 - Stars- Bruce, Scott - Recurring Characters- Don - In short- Executive has cucumber salad on face. Fact #4 - Neighbors: Episode 213 - Stars- n/a - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl - In short- Her neighbors have been in love for forty-five years. First Time: Episode 215 - Stars- Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Melanie - In short- Melanie has her date over in her parent's bedroom. Girls Of Summer: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Buddy Cole, Shona, Patty - In short- Buddy manages the Sappho Sluggers.

Fat Man, How We Met, Thirty Helens: Photos, Bank People, Double Date, Buddy is Canadian, Buddy Holly, Thirty Helens: Helens, Dr. Seuss Bible Sketches: - Fat Man: The fat man song. - How We Met Nena and husband find out how their friends met. - Thirty Helens Agree #1 : "There's a time and a place to show photos of your kids." - Bank People: Who the hell are they. - Double Date: The guys go on a date in a restaurant. - Buddy Is Canadian: Buddy discusses Canadians. - Buddy Holly: What Buddy Holly was really like. - Thirty Helens Agree #2: "A Helen is a Helen." - The Dr. Seuss Bible: A presentation of the Bible if it was written by Dr. Seuss.

Deja Vu, Asshole, The Daves I Know, Menstruation, House Rules, The Dinner, Sick of the Swiss, Country Doctor Sketches: - Deja Vu: Guys fighting in alley, one gets deja vu - Asshole: Rude guy ruins some friends' evening out. - The Daves I Know: Bruce sings about the Daves he knows. - Menstruation: Dave talks about menstruation. - House Rules: Man fighting with wife demands to be let into the house. - The Dinner: Timmy tries to console his mother & father. - Sick Of The Swiss: The guy who is sick of the Swiss. - Country Doctor: The leisurely country doctor comes to save the farmer.

Sign of Loneliness, Networking, Lopez 1, Fat Hitch-Hiker, Lopez 2, No Regrets, The Lamp, Lopez 3, Indian Woman, Lopez 4 Sketches: - Signs Of Loneliness: What's happening in the lonely city. - Networking: Gerald and Gerald network at a business party. - Lopez #1: Man calls out for Lopez outside of a house. - Fat Hitch-hiker: Man gives a "fat" guy a lift. - Lopez #2: Lopez continued. - No Regrets: Man criticizes donut shop customers. - The Lamp: Man who has to call the wife of a man who was killed by a lamp. - Lopez #3: Lopez continued. - Indian Woman: Boy who has decided to become an Indian woman. - Lopez #4: Credits.

Gunslinger II, Gorilla, Hey Man, Citizen Kane, Contact Lenses, Hey Man 2, Salty Ham, Hey Man 3 Sketches: - Gunslinger #2: Gunfighter that runs a concession stand. - Gorilla: Slapstick sketch about guys attacked by gorilla. - Hey Man #1: Man harassed by guys on the street - Citizen Kane: Two friends have a dispute about the name of a movie. - Contact Lenses: Story of a modern hero told by guy in an alley - Hey Man #2: Family harassed by guys continued. - Salty Ham: Gordon complains about Fran's salty ham. - Hey Man #3: Funeral goers harassed by guys concluded.

Thirty Helens 1, Bored Robbers, Running Faggot, Thirty Helens 2, Flogging, The Trucker, Can I Keep Him? Sketches: - Thirty Helens Agree #1: "Tattoos aren't for everyone." - Bored Robber: Apathetic burglar robs apathetic homeowner. - Running Faggot: The song of the running faggot. - Thirty Helens Agree #2: Twenty-Nine Helens Agree, "Promptness is important." - Flogging: Tense businessmen go to the gym to relax. - The Trucker: The story of a truck owner. - Can I Keep Him?: Kid brings home a stray businessman.

Crazy Dad (KD)-A man tells a story about his dad locking him up for 10 years, but as a cruel joke. Chicken Lady Goes Home (all)-The chicken lady visits her old house (Chicken Lady, Tucker, Bearded Lady) Assistant Fired (MB)-The 45-year-old man fires his assistant (45 guy) Mixed Up Names (DS)-The bad doctor mixes up files at the hospital (bad doctor) 7 Things To Do (KD)-"Gotta keep on top of my life" (Thug a.k.a. Inept Hitman) Interviewing New Assistant (BM)-He doesn't get the job. He slobbered on the guy's joint. (45 year old guy) Hiring Assistant (B)-He finds a new assistant (45 year old guy) Judy & Fran (DBS)-They meet the new widow (Fran, Gordon, Judy)

A woman repeatedly remarries after repeatedly marrying the wrong guy. A man is put on trial for sexually harassing himself. The hip guy and his wife introduce their lovers.

Sketches: Death Row: Episode 115 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Melanie - In short- Girls discuss cutest boy on death row. Banker Doesn't Like Us: Episode 108 - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- "Nobody Likes Us" Guys - In Short- They can't get a loan because Elinor doesn't like them. Buddy's Better: Episode 102 - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- Buddy Cole - In short- Buddy comments on what "they say" about the races. Crushing Your Head #2: Episode 101 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Mr. Tiscic aka Mr. Tyzik aka the Headcrusher - In Short- The Headcrusher crushes businessmen's heads. Citizen Kane: Episode 103 - Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- It was Citizen Kane...or maybe it was Psycho. Car Ride: Episode 119 - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- The $300 car. Womyn: Episode #102 - Stars- Dave, B

Sketches: - Nutty Bunnies: Nutty bunnies frolic in a field. - Queer Nation: Buddy talks about who is gay. - Cops - Uniform: Proper Uniforms. - Excellent Dinner: Darryl on a Date. - Cops - Stance: The proper way. - The Parrot: A man with nagging wife and parrot. - Cops - Naked: Naked through the woods. - Customer: Man who wanted his bill five minutes ago. - On The Run: The Cops chase some escaped convicts.

Sketches: - Cops - Dream: Bust the queen while drinking tea. - Crushing Hospital: Mr. Tyzik is injured and must undergo physical therapy. - Cops - Dad: Don't love my dad. - Daddy Drank: The story of how daddy drank. - The Leash #1: The slave and master on the street. - Cops - Shelley Long: Enough said. - Knocked Out: A guy knocks himself out. - The Leash #2: Shelly Long. - The Last Straw: Gavin pesters his mother while she's on the phone. - Parenting: Disillusioned parents hold a press conference. - Dead Dad: The Kids discuss beating up their fathers.

End of the Beginning (P)(5): Bellini listens to the radio (Paul Bellini) • Armada Grows Old (MBK)(5): Armada sees the future (Armada) • The Sixth Kid (all)(5): Jeff Berman tribute • Buddy's Bar - Closure (S)(5): Buddy closes the bar • On Censorship (KDB)(5): ""recap"" of censored episodes • A.T. Buyout (all)(5): Everyone is fired (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Ms. Ferguson, Secretary, A.T. Boss) • Burial (all+P)(5): the boys are buried and Bellini speaks! (Paul Bellini)

Death Row, White Guy, Crazy Love, Buddy's Island, Captain Alan, Mechanic, Baby Sketches: - Death Row: Girls discuss cutest boy on death row. - Man Guy: The faux blues man from Vermont. - Crazy Love: The men who love all women. - Buddy's Island Buddy stranded on a desert Island. - Captain Alan: Drunk guy pretends to be a cop. - Mechanic: The mechanic with the beautiful blonde locks. - Baby: A baby-less couple talks to a mother in the park.

Hoopla McGuillicutty and Green, Wake Up!, MacIntyre Name, One Step at a Time, Nobody Likes Us, McGuillicutty and Kurosawa, Three for the Moon Sketches: - Hoopla: Security guard complains about hoopla. - McGuillicutty & Green: Vaudeville act with bad straight man. - Wake Up!: The drunk brothers come over at 3AM. - MacIntyre's Name: The story of a farmer. - One Step At A Time: Two guys discuss taking things one step at a time.. - Nobody Likes Us: ""Nobody Likes Us"" guys sing on a bus. - McGuillicutty & Kurosawa: Yet another bad straight man. - Three For The Moon Three guys sit on wall and discuss the moon.

Sketches: - The Jury: Bruce is charged in court with being an asshole. - Cops - Shootout: A standoff. - Prisoner: Buddy explains how he got put in prison. - Sizzler & The Bank: The Sizzlers try to rob a bank. - Cops - 211 In Progress: The cops in action. - Chicken Lady: The Chicken Lady gets a date. - Drugs Are Bad: Kevin reports hash dealers to the cops. - Cops - Prisoner: Locked keys in car. - Clean Sheets: Best things in life. - Justice: The trial of a lifetime.

Sketches: - Cops - Good Cop/Bad Cop: They're getting the hang of it. - Brad & The Phone: A guy calls for phone sex. - Fact #1: Uncle Tony. - Book, Bottle, Blonde: A story of a guy who writes children's books. - Cops - Money: Best thing about being a cop. - Shoes: Evan the intense shoe salesman. - Evil T: Maybe it's the letters? - Fact #5: Bigfoot Singing. - Heckler: Mississippi Gary is heckled. - Fact #4: Neighbors in love. - The Long Note: The Kids visit Bruce as he recovers from his suicide attempt.

Idiot Boy: Assistant, Cops: Interrogation 1, Feelyat, Cops: Interrogation 2, Catching Up, Martyr, Cops: Interrogation 4, The Beard Skits: - Idiot Boy at Work: Idiot Boy is causing problems at work - Police Department: 10:00 a.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - You've Gained Weight: woman with eating disorder discusses weight problems - Police Department: 6:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - Feelyat!: bizarre foreign-language game show (& news bulletin) - Brian's Been Arrested: Fran tells how Brian was arrested - Police Department: 11:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - The Beard: Man's beard takes over his life

Editors Intro, Editors (Film), Break Up, I Lied, Dull Death, I'm a Cat, My Routine, Schoolroom, Editors Finale Sketches: - Editors Intro: Editors discuss what to cut. - Breakup: Song about Bobby's breakup. - Editors #2: Editors discuss what to cut continued. - I Lied: Story of a man and his father. - Dull Death: The guy with the life-after death experience. - I'm A Cat The life of a cat, with the cat jazz band. - My Routine: The everyday routine of one man. - Schoolroom: Boring teacher has affair during class. - Editors Finale : Editors discuss what to cut continued.

A Place to Die, Secretaries, A Place to Die 2, Preacher, Weston, A Place to Die 3, Teddy Bears' Picnic Sketches: - A Place To Die #1: Man explains how he's going to die in the house he was born. - Secretaries: Cathy & Kathie gossip about Tanya - A Place To Die#2 : Die in that house continued. - Preacher: Mark's preacher character - Weston: Weston discusses the stars. - A Place To Die #3: Die in that house continued. - Teddy Bear's Picnic: Father tries to put his kid to sleep with a story.

Call Girls, The Eradicator, Ballet, Crushing Your Head Part 2, Cause of Cancer, Pear, Kathie and the Blues Guy, Crushing Your Head Part 3 Sketches: Call Girls: Two girls call each other simultaneously. The Eradicator: The masked squash player. Ballet: The cruel ballet school teacher. Head Crusher #2: The head crusher crushes businessmen's heads. Cause Of Cancer: The Kids discover the cause of cancer. Pear: Man wakes up from the pear dream. Kathie The Blues Guy: Kathie & Mississippi Gary talk about their relationship. Head Crusher #3: Head crusher continued.

Boo!, Dracula, The Middle, Crushing Girlfriend, Mass Murderer, B & K, Beautiful Women Sketches: - Boo!: The author of scary books. - Dracula: Leslie has a friend over. - The Middle: A comedy sketch premise. - Crushing Girlfriend: Head Crusher's friend comes over. - Mass Murderer: A look at the life of a murderer. - B&K: A song and dance team. - Darcy Pennell: Ugly women's fashions.

Sketches: - The Cure: A man embarrasses his friend at a bar. - Secretaries - Logey: The office is exhausted. - Thirty Second Stories - Tess: Who Built Cars - Directions: A guy who speaks English meets a guy who claims to speak no English. - Excellent Guy - Big Brother: Darryl spends time with his "Little Brother." - Thirty Second Stories - Office Party: Shame! - Taxpayer: A bad sketch is a waste of taxpayer money. - Thirty Second Stories - Fries: The Stones concert. - Into The Doors: A man in record store thinks about getting a Doors album.

Poems by the Emperor of Japan; Brice's advice for breaking into showbiz.

Hookers - Rich Guy • Gavin - Religion • Try it NOW! • Just Terrific • Hookers - Puppet • Coincidence • Listening In • Hookers - New Coke • Thanksgiving

Lesbian & Gay Pride, Waiter With Stumps For Hands, Squealin', Gavin: Leaking, Protest, Good to Cry 2, Drag Queens & Leather People, Sounds Skit: - Steps: gay pride day - Stump Hand Waiter: the waiter with stumps for hands - Butt Freak Film Buff: the guy who likes a certain type of movie scene - Gavin at the Police Department: Gavin registers a complaint at the police department - Steps: gay pride day continued - Guy Who Consoles People in Hospital: the guy who consoles crying people in the hospital - Steps: gay pride day continued - Evan the Stereo Salesman: Evan the intense stereo salesman

God is Dead, New Boots, Fast Breakup, Hookers: Porno, Rockey, Hookers: Price List, Montreal 2, Dessert Skit: - God is Dead: newsreel footage of the death of God - New Boots: workers with steel-toed boots go to the job - Accelerated-Time Breakup: time accelerates whenever man leaves wife - Whores: new price list - Buddy's Bar: Buddy talks about Montreal - Whores: johns who can't pay - Dipping Areas: a restaurant kitchen discussion about the mousse dipping areas

Sketches: - Guess Your Weight: Guy who can guess everything but weight. - Go For Guilt: Nena's first date with a guy. - Hustlers - Math Teachers: The message to the old math teachers. - Fag Basher: Leslie saves a guy from some delinquents. - Friendly Rivals: Worker who keeps a list of his office enemies. - Show Within A Show: The Scott Thompson show by Scott Thompson. - Mr. Hugula: A man in restaurant who can't remember who he is. - Housework Hustlers: Men whoring their maid service. - Chocolate: The girls have a get-together. - Eating In The Shower: Credits.

The alternate conclusion to "Old Yeller"; drugs and other vices; how to deal with noisy people.

Wrote the Report Naked (DKS)(5): free spirit writes a report (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss, Bingo the Clown) • Don't Shut off My Cable! (SM)(5): Korean War vet doesn't want to lose his cable (Disgusting Old Man) • My Gazebo! (all)(5): woman's gazebo disappears (Police Department) • Scott on Los Angeles (S)(5): a monologue from Scott on a dream he had • Carlo the Scientist (BM)(5): Darryl participates in an experiment (Darryl)

An old lady falls down and then gets robbed, but the cops don't want to get involved; a sketch artist draws people he's never seen based only on their voice; street singers receive a visit from the Loser Research Foundation.

Guilt • The Kathi's - Monday Meeting • The Voices • Steps - Hot • Becoming A Man • Steps - Drag • The Collector • Steps - Issues

Clothes-Talker (K)(5): man talks to his clothes • Sid & Sharisse Wedding (all)(5): Sid & Sharisse get married (Sid, Sharisse, Sid's Friend) • Whores (DSM)(5): film producer (Whores) • Darn Near Puked (BSK)(5): office workers discuss ""gross"" things • Whores (DS)(5): high heels and old boyfriends (Whores) • Scott's Vision (SM)(5): Scott has a vision after reading a list of men who died of AIDS • Again! Again! (SKBM)(5): old man asks women to dance in their underwear

Sketches: - Cops - O Canada: Our home and native land. - Trapper: The daily hunt begins. - Cabbage Head - Old Friends: Cabbage Head at it again. - It's Not Working Out #1: Chris is fired. - The Loner: ...And his toe. - It's Not Working Out #2: Chris is fired... again. - Simon & Hecubus: In the Pit of Ultimate Darkness. - It's Not Working Out #3: Chris is fired... one more time. - Girls Of Summer: Coach Buddy does it again.

Hey Baby, Island Boys, Can't Kill Rock, Tarantula, Cat's Away, Mutilated, Car Ride, OWWW Sketches: - Hey Baby: Guys at a bar bark at women. - Island Boys: Island-native brothers discuss manhood. - Can't Kill Rock: Bobby and teacher discuss the death of rock. - Tarantula: The pick up artist. - Cat's Away: Guys party when girlfriends leave. - Mutilated: Scott complaining about some missing... skin. - Car Ride: A nice ride through the country. - Owww: Monique the pyromaniac is fired.

A man who works in a wig shop tries to convince everyone he's not bald. A pizza guy lusts after schoolgirls. Sid wonders if he is too small to love.

The Bearded Lady; spy models; a horny patient.

Cabbie • Seminar • Gezbo • Diploma • Cabbie Two • On Board • Scary Sandwich • Extreme Argument

Lick Town Clean (DK)(5): residents must lick the town clean • Agents in the Bar (SMK)(5): the Sudelmans in the bar order drinks after last call (Sudelmans) • The Lovers 3* (DM)(5): the lovers talk about their love (directed by Mark) • Noisy Kid (MBKD)(5): man in line complains about a yakky kid • Dave/Elk (DS)(5): comparison of Dave and an elk [Scott narrates] • Humpback Gays (BS)(5): gay pair discusses one guy's hump (Butchie?) • The Lovers 4* (DM)(5): the lovers talk about their love (directed by Mark) • My Training* (BKM)(5): man who participates in competitive bathtub-soaking

Police Department (BM)(5): 2:16 p.m. Cherry Beach - madness in L.A. (Police Department) • Bleeding Ear (KDB)(5): man's ear starts bleeding at dinner • Bikini Inspector (B)(5): man complains about ""Bikini Inspector"" T-shirts • Wedding at Buddy's (SKM)(5): Buddy conducts a marriage ceremony (Buddy) • This Scene Was Written in Haste...* (SDK)(5): a sketch written in haste • Hi-Tech Car Alarm (M)(5): Tucker followed by a car after setting off its alarm (Tucker)

Cyclops (SD)(5): cyclops at a party • The Convenience Store Worker (all)(5): A convenience store clerk has his performance reviewed by executives • Hillbilly's Problem (MDSKJ)(5): A hillbilly has some problems after his cow kicks him in the head (Nurse Unloop) • Fran the Italian (SM)(5): Fran feels out of sorts (Fran)

Francesca, Bruno, & the Voiceover Guy (SDM)(5): voiceover guy corrects Francesca's grammar (Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) • Sperm Bank I (SMBK)(5): the humanoids rob a sperm bank (Humanoids for Humanism) • The Queen at Tea (DKS)(5): the Queen drops by unexpectedly for tea (The Queen) • Sperm Bank II (MBK)(5): sperm bank continued (Tucker, Armada in stills) • Man of Destiny (D)(5): a busy guy • Sperm Bank III (BM)(5): sperm bank continued (Police Department in still) • Heart Channel (all)(5): a truly bizarre pledge drive (Nena, Murray, Doctor, Nurse Unloop, Terrier) • Sperm Bank IV (-)(5): sperm bank concluded

Luck • Fine Line • Tuck it In • Losing My Religion • Serpico • The Hangover • Wild Man

The Unexpirienced Cannibal (DKS)-He is not an EXPERIENCED cannibal Santa's Visit (MSK)-Boys have a doo doo and girls have a who hah. Spot Belinni Conclusion (B)-The exciting conclusion of who gets to have breakfast with Belinni at his or her local airport (Belinni) Looking For Frank (KD)-He's dealing with Steve "TWO PHONES" Macabee! Tammy's New Video (BM)-Tammy ain't gonna spread for no roses! (Tammy) My Art! (KB)-He borrowed his art and now he's stealing (the artist with the weird hair)

Pops • Poker Face • Cheers • Cops - Worms • The Nap • Cops - Hungover • Contest • Just One Bite

Sketches: - M. Piedlourde Donne Un Cuop De Pied An Ballon: Speaks for itself. - Scott's Not Gay: Panic! - First Time: Melanie has a date. - Bad News: He's kinda evil. - Poo Guy: Bruce is the Poo Guy - M. Piedlourde A Une Rende-Vous: Speaks for itself. - Victim: A guy who apparently wants to get beaten up. - Night Of The Cow: The story of the Night of the Cow. - M. Piedlourde Sur La Lune: Speaks for itself.

Sketches: - Spring: What a man likes about spring. - Comfortable: How comfortable are these couples? - Trucker #2: Truck Owner makes a phone call. - Hard Day: An undercover alien overreacts to innocent questions. - Off Swingin': One cool cat. - The Doctor: How far can you coast on just charm? - Bobby & The Devil: Bobby has a guitar fight with Satan.

Puppy won't do tricks; a man who dresses his best to get the paper; a sleepwalking boy steals his dad's money; a restaurant that has a relationship section.

Einstein is mocked; three men take pride in their huge guts.

Cops have a long night at a crime scene; Scott tries to blame a clown for spraying his boss with seltzer water; a drag queen with a gun starts a revolution.

- Street Fight -- Parents Watching - Cathy & Kathie & the New Girl - Street Fight -- Confusion - Darryl on a Date -- the Oompah Band - Street Fight -- Unfair Fight - Buddy -- Virtual Reality - Cyril St. John the Escapist - Hardboiled NY Rednecks

A construction worker firmly denies sleeping on the job; Bruce discovers that he is only 17 inches tall.

A man has to get back up on a horse after choking on a chicken kabob; cops talk about what they might have done if they hadn't become cops; Buddy searches for a new lover.

Receptionist • Walk A Mile In My Shoes • Cops - Rookie Trick Question • A Soulfulness They Never Had • Cops - Rookie Coffee • Answering Machine • Celebrity • Cops - Rookie Puke • Divorce Court

Alan Bouvier • Career Crisis • Nice Day For Work • Hookers - Plastic Surgery • Armada - Understudy • Hookers - Commitment • Lost and Found • Clothesline • Hookers - Too Easy • Comfortable High

Cops - Fridge • Third Time Lucky • Cops - Spring, Exposed • Hookers - Documentaries • Nudity • Cops - Europe • Business World • Katnapped

Hookers - Transvestite • Excellent Composer • Hookers - Movie Star • Quarter Life Crisis • Cemetery • Drunk As a Crow • Advantage

People - Bike Courier • Ricardo • Chargin' Ya • Atrium • People - Winnipeg Chick • Art Studio • People - Hopeless Romantic • Surrogate

Skits: Fiore Parfums Commercial - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- Francesca Fiore - In short- Smell like a bitch. Things To Do - Stars- Dave, Kevin - Recurring Characters- Thug - In Short- He's gotta keep on top of his life and on top of his schedule. Art Collector - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Shirling Guy - In short- Man negotiates the price for a piece of "art" to add to his collection. Who's Hot and Who's Not - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Smitty, Butch, Riley - In short- They guy-watch from the steps. Night I Connected With My Dog - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Bruce connects with a dog for which he previously felt nothing. The Life of Cyril St. John - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- A 70s-style documentary on an escape artist. Gay Marriage - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Smitty, Butch, Riley - In short- They

Skits: Inexperienced Cannibal - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- He didn't get on the plane expecting to eat anyone. Try it NOW! - Stars- Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Danny Husk, Danny's Wife - In short- Maybe the uh spark plugs aren't firing. Sock Puppet - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Jocelyn, Maudre - In Short- It's for nervous johns. Do Re Mi - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Turning that frown upside down. Anal Probing Aliens - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Tucker - In short- Alien questions the point to his work. Transvestite - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Jocelyn, Maudre - In short- A man wants to know if Maudre is one. Answering Machine - Stars- Bruce, Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Husband and wife make their answering machine greeting. Chicken Lady Goes Home - Stars- Dave, Bruce,

Shoe Shine--He's not stoned; he's just noticing things. • The Monkeys--Be afraid. Be very afraid; he might let the monkeys loose. • You Scuzzy Piece of Filth!--He dialed wrong. • Raj and Christine: Temporary Roommates--She contributes; she shoplifted for him. • Husk Musk--The bottled scent of Danny.