Family Guy Episode Rating Graph

When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.

Peter retells the story of Star Wars in this hour-long episode of Family Guy. When Princess Leia is captured by the evil Darth Vader the droids C-3PO and R2-D2 escape to the planet Tatooine to find help from the Rebel Alliance. There they encounter Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca and Obi-Wan Kenobi who infiltrate the Death Star then rescue the captive princess from the Death Star and return to aid the Rebellion in its fight against the Galactic Empire.

In a special hour-long crossover with The Simpsons, the Griffins meet the Simpson family when they end up in Springfield after their car is stolen. Stewie takes lessons in pranks and skateboarding from Bart, while Lisa discovers - to her annoyance - that Meg is as good at playing the saxophone as she is. Peter bonds with Homer as they locate the missing car, but then they fight after Peter loses his job when Pawtucket Patriot is revealed to be a copy of Duff Beer.

Peter makes good on another power outage at home--by entertaining his family with a retelling of Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Newcomers to the story include Mort as Lando Calrissian, Chris' boss Carl as Yoda, and the Giant Chicken as the nefarious Boba Fett.

Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He ends up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is anything but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have also taken on Quagmire's charming characteristics.

Quagmire dates a woman named Sonja, who is just as sexually active as he is, but things take a turn for the worse when she kidnaps him to be her sex slave, so Peter, Joe and Ida must search the seedy back alleys of Quahog to rescue him. In the meantime, Brian, Stewie and Rupert get involved in a most unusual love triangle.

When Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune "Surfin' Bird," Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again! On the verge of tears, Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, and he runs into a familiar face and ends up hanging out with Jesus Christ.

Mort Goldman accidentally steps into Stewie's time machine and goes back in time to 1939 Poland, and Brian and Stewie follow to retrieve him. When they find him, the Nazis invade and Mort is taken to Germany, where Stewie and Brian must go to save him, as well as find a way back to the present.

After teddy bear Rupert gets recalled, Stewie stops at nothing to get back his beloved best friend. Meanwhile, When Peter falls ill and can't compete in his bowling tournament, Peter becomes jealous when Lois fills in for him.

After a “wardrobe malfunction” occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter’s favorite shows. As a result, Peter creates his own station, PTV, which broadcasts from the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create their own edgy programming until the FCC shows up to shut down PTV and censor all controversial material in Quahog.

Peter imagines his friends and family in three of Stephen King's most famous works. Stand by Me parody - Twelve-year old Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe travel along a railroad track on a journey of self-discovery. Misery parody - Brian is injured in a bad car crash only to be "rescued" by his "number one fan," Stewie. The Shawshank Redemption parody - Cleveland and Peter become fast friends in prison.

When Peter tries to get out of paying a doctors bill by faking his own death, he is visited by Death himself, who wants to take Peter away. After Death twists his ankle while chasing Peter, everyone on Earth becomes immortal while death is incapacitated.

When Peter gives Lois’ dad the bachelor party he never had, Mr. Pewterschmidt goes into a coma. Even Dr. House can't help. Lois gains control of Pewterschmidt Industries which she passes to Peter. He gets power-hungry and fires the board. Mr. Pewterschmidt bounces back and tries to regain control of what he’s built.

Stewie starts going to the gym with Peter after he gets beaten up by Joe's baby daughter Susie, but just when it seems that his hard work is paying off, Peter reveals that he's been giving him anabolic steroid. Meanwhile, Chris begins dating a popular girl at school, only to see her popularity subside.

Peter and Joe team up to execute a series of painful and humiliating Halloween pranks on unsuspecting family, friends and neighbors. While Brian shows Stewie the ropes of trick-or-treating, Meg sets out to attend her first high school Halloween party with high hopes for the evening.

The Griffins attempt to conquer Mount Everest after competitive friends mention they plan to scale the legendary peak. Things, however, are not looking up for the Griffins, as a wicked storm leaves them pinned down on the side of the mountain.

When Peter and Chris interrupt Stewie’s TV time, the angry baby goes back in time to break up Peter and Lois so he’s never conceived, but is shocked when he is reborn into a “Downton Abbey”-esque British household.

When burglars break into the house, the Griffins take cover in the attic where they discover Peter has built a 'panic room'. They go in it, and Peter tells them about his history. They send Meg for food but the burglars catch her. The rest of the Griffins stay behind and Peter accidentally floods the room and they're going to drown. Luckily Joe gets them out and we find out Meg has been accused of sexual harassment by the burglars.

When Peter and Quagmire discover that their singing voices create beautiful harmony together, they form a singing/songwriting team, in the vein of Simon and Garfunkel. However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter’s head.

Stewie’s favorite thing after his teddy bear, Rupert, is Christmas. So when he hears that Santa is making an appearance at the mall, he begs Brian to take him so that he can tell Santa in person what he wants for Christmas. Brian begrudgingly takes Stewie to the mall, only to get the brush-off from Santa. As a result, Stewie and Brian travel to the North Pole to find Santa and teach him a lesson in holiday cheer.

Peter gets a vasectomy and loses all his sex drive. Lois begins to gain weight, and as a result, Peter's regains his interest in his wife. When Lois' habits get out of control, she has a heart attack. The surgeon must remove Lois' fat to reach her heart, returning her to her normal weight. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother Bertram returns to confront him, where they have a war for control over the playground.

After Mort bowls a perfect game, and Quagmire gets a key to the city by performing CPR, Peter notices he has nothing to be proud of. He then attempts to achieve fame by setting the world's record for most nickels swallowed. However, a slight miscalculation leaves him blind with nickel poisoning.

To boost Chris' self-esteem, Peter and Lois send him to space camp. When camp ends and the Griffins come to pick Chris up, they accidentally are launched into outer space, and it's up to Chris to land the clan safely back on earth.

After winning a game of Trivial Pursuit, Peter is convinced he is a genius. To prove Peter wrong, Brian suggests he take a test of the MacArthur Genius Grant. The test results say that Peter is technically mentally challenged. Peter has no problem abusing this handicap until Lois is injured and the kids are taken away because Peter is not mentally fit for parenting.

When Peter hears Loretta scream, he tries to help out, but discovers Loretta is cheating on Cleveland. Peter figures out that it was Quagmire and decides to tell Cleveland about it. But when Loretta walks out on Cleveland he doesn't take it lightly.

After buying a brain-damaged horse, which causes over $100,000 worth of damage, Peter participates in medical experiments to make some extra cash. One of the genes he is injected with turns him gay, which later results in him leaving Lois for another man. Although the family is crushed, they quickly realise the most important thing is that Peter is happy.

Meg becomes extremely religious, and tries to convert Brian from Atheism. Meanwhile, after the family visits a Star Trek convention, Stewie kidnaps the entire cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation and forces them to hang out with him.

When the Griffins find themselves in a financial bind, Lois is forced to find a job of her own. She gets discovered by a "voiceover" talent agent named Randy, who actually runs an adult-only phone line and pays his employees generously. As Lois settles into her new gig, she hears Peter's voice on the other end of the line.

Father doesn't know best when Quagmire assumes responsibility for a baby left at his doorstep. Meanwhile, Stewie creates a stupid clone of himself that he uses as a slave. When he ends up creating a clone for Brian too, they find out that the clones are unstable, at which point the clones break down.

When Peter and the guys decide to go fishing, they end up caught in a storm. Stranded on a desert island, their families fear the worst. Rescued by a cruise ship months later, Peter surprises Lois at home, where he finds out that she has a new husband.

When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.

"The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog and Brian is chosen to be a contestant. Brian does not like the show, but participates just to have a vacation only to wind up falling in love with the bachelorette. Meanwhile, Chris gets a nasty pimple on his cheek, which talks to Chris and likes to cause mischief.

When Peter gets hurt and can't work, his boss tells him he needs to speed things up. So Lois goes to the brewery to help him out. Meanwhile, Stewie finds out that Brian is dating a very attractive but not very intelligent woman. He tries to get Brian to break up with her, but Brian can't do it.

After Peter has some luck selling footage of a celebrity he caught off-guard, he decides to become a full-time paparazzo. To make matters worse, his new boss, Angela, finds him irresistible and plagues him with unwanted advances. When Peter rebuffs her, he winds up getting the ax. Meanwhile, Stewie makes his theatrical debut in a school play, only to be overcome with stage fright.

At his high school reunion, Peter tries to impress his fellow classmates. When Peter, heading for the bathroom, charges through the crowd of people, impresses quarterback Tom Brady, who offers Peter a spot on the New England Patriots. Meanwhile, Brian owes Stewie money, after Stewie becomes a sports bookie.

When Peter, Quagmire and Joe need a jolt in their mundane lives, they decide to go skydiving. But after an unfortunate accident, Peter ends up in the hospital, where he befriends Mahmoud, who convinces Peter to convert to Islam. Quagmire and Joe are suspicious of Mahmoud's intentions and try to stop the friendship from progressing.

Brian becomes a substitute teacher at Chris' school after his teacher wins the lottery. When Brian is moved to teach a class of troubled kids, Chris falls in love with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, who promises to love Chris only if he kills her husband. When Lois finds out, she and Stewie decide to teach Chris a lesson.

When Peter takes Stewie to the park for some quality father-son time, he mistakenly takes the wrong baby home, prompting Lois to call him an idiot. Determined to prove to her that he's a responsible adult, Peter goes on a business trip to Chicago and returns as an intelligent, classy person.

After Peter uses Meg's money to buy himself a tank, she gets a job at the new Superstore in town. However, the Superstore puts all the shops in town out of business and sucks up the city's power supply. Brian and Stewie team up to save the town from the corporate giant.

Forced to go to a women’s retreat for telling sexist jokes at work, Peter resists the idea at first. After two weeks, however, Peter becomes a sensitive male. No one likes the new Peter, especially Lois. While attending a charity dinner, Lois does something that snaps Peter out of his feminine phase.

When Stewie refuses to sleep in his own bed because of nightmares, Peter can’t stand it, so he goes to sleep in the attic. Peter turns the attic into a man cave and all of the guys begin hanging out there, which makes Lois incredibly angry. Meanwhile, Brian helps Stewie overcome his fears by building a device to go into his nightmares and defeat his demons.

When the local dry cleaner loses Peter’s favorite white shirt, he goes ballistic. Meanwhile, Brian tries to score on a date with a new friend, Denise, but ends up striking out. Instead of calling it quits on love, he decides to enlist Quagmire’s help, but things get nasty when they start to compete for the affections of each other’s old flames, Cheryl Tiegs and Jillian Russell.

Lois discovers she has a brother named Patrick and takes the family cross-country to meet him. It turns out; he’s locked up in a mental institution. Lois thinks he’s sane, so she checks him out to live with the Griffins. Meanwhile, Peter starts the Society for the Acceptance of Fat Men. But when all the fat men of Quahog are strangled one-by-one the group lives in fear. Who could the “Fat Man Strangler” be?

When Brian accidentally kills another dog, he is surprised to see that no one cares, so he tries to convince everyone that the life of a dog should have the same value as a human one. Meanwhile, Lois hires a maid who doesn’t listen to Peter

When Peter gets a pet parrot, he begins acting like a pirate. Peter accidentally kills the bird after raising hell through all of Quahog. Meanwhile, when Brian is visiting the vet, Chris falls in love with the intern, Anna.

When a bully harasses Chris, Peter goes to his defense, but ends up beating him up. Peter realizes bullying is fun and begins to bully everyone in the house. Finally, Chris stands up to Peter and beats him senseless. Meanwhile, Stewie goes out without sunscreen and becomes obsessed with getting a tan. After Brian leaves him in the tanning booth for six hours, Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.

Quagmire takes Peter to work but Peter messes things up, causing Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot. After not being able find another job, Peter and Cleveland make plans to help him get his old job back. When the plan fails, Quagmire receives advice from his idol, Hugh Hefner.

Brian sells Rupert at a garage sale. Stewie, who is upset with Brian, takes him cross country to Colorado to find his beloved teddy, and ends up having a ski-off to win back Rupert. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.

Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games.

Meg becomes an intern for Mayor West. Brian, who is sure that the mayor is corrupt, tries to out him. Brian and Stewie, while undercover, discover that Meg is more than just an intern. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois go back to their folk singing days at a local talent show. When they begin using drugs, Chris stages an intervention.

Brian gets a gig writing for a teen magazine about the average American girl, but when he starts trailing Meg for research he discovers that her desperate attempts at dating have led her to a guy in the slammer. When Brian tries to expose Meg’s secret to the family, he finds out that her boyfriend, Luke, has broken out of jail and has been hiding in the Griffin’s house.

Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.

Meg can't find a date to her junior prom, and even though he is dating Jillian, Brian ends up going with Meg. At the prom, Brian gets drunk to make the night pass, but ends up making out with Meg. Meg begins to think of Brian as her boyfriend and becomes obsessed with spending every moment with him. Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire join the police force to help Brian.

After Peters dad, Francis, dies, Thelma tells him that his real father actually lives in Ireland. So Peter and Brian decide to head there in search of his father, who ends up being the town drunk. They decide to play a drinking game to prove his paternity. Meanwhile, Stewie acts out and Lois spanks him. Realizing that he likes being spanked, Stewie does whatever he can to get into trouble.

Peter decides to grow a mustache, and after being mistaken for a fireman, ends up lending a hand when a fire breaks out at a local fast food restaurant. The owner gives him unlimited burgers as a thank you, but he eats too many and has a stroke. When Peter recovers, he vows to expose the fast-food company for what it really is, becoming friends with a genetically engineered cow along the way.

After being pregnant for seven years, Bonnie finally gives birth to a beautiful baby girl named Susie! Stewie quickly falls for the little tyke and vows to do anything to win her heart and get in her diaper. Meanwhile, Joe borrows $20,000 from a bookie to pay for Bonnie's medical bills, but then plans to steal the money from Mr. Pewterschmidt to pay his debt.

When Brian discovers that his beloved Jillian is getting married, he hits the sauce to drown his sorrows. The next morning, he wakes up with more than a hangover. After realizing he has hooked up with "The Hills" star Lauren Conrad, he wants to run and hide. When Brian discovers Lauren is nothing like how she's portrayed on TV, he thinks he may have found his perfect match – if only he can let Jillian go.

When Peter loses the Griffins' home in a reverse mortgage, he and Mayor West travel to confront the man advertising the scheme, Tom Selleck. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian open a booth at the flea market, leading to a rivalry with Bruce.

When Peter injures himself and a family of squirrels in a chainsaw accident, Chris and Stewie take in one of the injured rodents to nurse it back to health. Meanwhile, a chiropractor fixes Peter's injury by realigning his spine - and restoring him to his "true height" of 6'5".

Peter and his friends are sick of forgetting the million-dollar business ideas they come up with while drinking, so they strap on Joe's police body cams to record their every move. Meanwhile, Quagmire is trying to come to terms with an unexpected family development.

The guys regale each other with stories of youthful athletic accomplishments. Cleveland was a teenage baseball player from Cuba, Quagmire was a bad boy tennis superstar from New York and Peter was an underdog boxer from Philadelphia.

Brian's new job as a journalist leads him to uncover that Pawtucket Pat, Quahog's hero and brewery founder, took part in racist actions against Native Americans. The town becomes divided on whether or not to remove the statue that commemorates him.

After discovering his checks are actually a large size post-it pad, Peter demands he have access to the checking account. While at the bank, Peter & Lois discover that his first name is actually Justin, so Peter embraces his new partying “bro” lifestyle. Meanwhile, Joe arrests Glenn after he sleeps with an underage girl, which leads to an unexpected reunion.

Brian decides he doesn't want to hang out with Stewie anymore, so Stewie tries to save their relationship by having a baby ... or seven ... by using Brian's DNA to impregnate himself. Meanwhile, Peter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland attempt to make a viral video.

Peter's non-stop sweating becomes a liability at his company, so his boss tells him to work from home. Meanwhile, after Stewie and Chris cause thousands of dollars in damage to an electronics store, the two create a fake Kickstarter campaign with Brian to pay back the money.

Meg gets a new job at the airport, where she's instantly popular for being the hottest employee there. Meanwhile, Cleveland becomes a therapist and starts giving Peter and Lois relationship advice, but Peter quickly becomes frustrated and threatens to tell Donna a big secret about what went down at Cleveland's bachelor party.

With the brewery under construction, Lois implores Peter to take a new job, but grows irate when he begins work at the grocery store. Meanwhile, armed with his police stories, Joe and Brian team up to write their own true crime novel.

When Peter gets a job as the new night watchman, he and the guys turn Pawtucket Brewery into an after-hours bar. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian's plan to collect "lost dog" return money backfires when Brian is used for a dangerous TikTok stunt.

Meg gets married in Russia but returns home after discovering she was used for a green card marriage. Meanwhile, Chris, in need of an extracurricular activity, joins Principal Shepherd in shooting pornos at the high school.

Meg plans her wedding to an unexpected Quahog resident. Meanwhile, Peter finds a new vest and on one of many adventures fitting for his new attire, his arms are torn off and he is left with tiny hands that have yet to grow back.

Peter finds an old winning raffle ticket from 1989 that entitles him a golf outing with O.J. Simpson. After befriending him, Peter brings O.J. home home to meet the family. However, the people of Quahog aren't too fond of the former running back.

Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland form a neighborhood detective agency, and are stunned to discover that Chris is a thief. Meanwhile, Lois is worried about Chris' delusional relationship with his new girlfriend, but also sees it as an opportunity for Peter to copy Chris' romantic gestures.

To take advantage of a work policy granting leave in the event of a pet's death, Peter adopts the oldest bird he can find... and realizes it used to belong to Hitler. Meanwhile, after giving Stewie a signed copy of his book, Brian finds it in a free library, causing Brian to give up writing.

Meg is thrilled to be recruited as a model, but it turns out to be for a very specific type of modeling: the foot-fetish industry. Meanwhile, Brian accompanies Stewie on an open-road adventure when Stewie decides he wants to experience life outside of preschool.

When Stewie receives a participation medal in his school's toddler games, he begins to question everything he has ever won. Meanwhile, Peter causes a fight between Lois' parents and must repair the damage he caused.

Lois is blocked from a vacation rental app and accused of stealing after the family's trip to Nantucket. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian buy saltwater taffy in bulk, and try their hands at door-to-door sales in the community.

When Quagmire opens a cat café in town, Brian decides to take a stand to get the café shut down. Meanwhile, when Meg and Chris get in trouble at school, Lois becomes nervous and decides they need to go to church camp in order to find their way.

When Brian accidentally becomes a local hero, an old street pal, and now a successful millionaire dog, reaches out and tries to convince him to get neutered. Meanwhile, Lois gets a pixie cut against Peter's wishes, so Peter retaliates by trying to out-embarrass her.

Meg joins the Adam West High basketball team, and her play is fueled by Peter's lambasting from the crowd. Meanwhile, Stewie goes down a rabbit hole of conspiracies, which ultimately ends with him developing multiple personalities.

After attending obedience school, Brian becomes much more submissive, and Peter realizes he misses his old, feistier pal. Meanwhile, Chris makes a new friend at school, but feels betrayed when he discovers it was all a ploy to get closer to Meg.

When Joe is trampled in a local running of the bulls and becomes a quadriplegic, the guys find it too difficult to hang around him. Meanwhile, Brian sleeps with a married woman, and when the husband returns home, he pretends to be the family’s new dog.

After a mishap at work, Peter decides to take his health more seriously and diet with the help of Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland. When Lois takes a stab at writing a romantic fantasy novel, a curious Brian and Stewie investigate to find out who she might have a crush.

Peter gets a check in the mail from the sale of his mother's home and he remembers that all of his old porn is still in there. When he returns to retrieve his stash, he finds a "to Peter from Peter" tape and realizes that his life has amounted to nothing. Reeling from his own failures, Peter then attempts to fix Chris before it's too late, and forces his son to spend time with Brian.

Peter’s sister, Karen, decides to come for Thanksgiving and bullies Peter the same way Meg treats him. While Meg is at first amused, she later feels badly and decides to help Peter train to defeat his sister in a wrestling match. Meanwhile, to avoid overeating on Thanksgiving, Stewie and Brian decide to go on a cleanse, which Stewie takes one step too far.

Quagmire's most treasured body part gets cut off in a freak accident and he is forced to learn how to live without it. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian search for Mort after learning there is a $10,000 reward for turning him into the police for his involvement in a drug scam.

Meg begins working at a retirement community and starts stealing from the residents. Then Chris finds out and wants in on the heist. When the residents catch them, they blackmail them and force the thieves to listen to all of their boring stories.

Peter claims he would beat Liam Neeson (guest voice Liam Neeson) in a fight, but when he is put to the test, he learns that winning is tougher than it seems. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes jealous when Lois decides to be a class mom and starts paying more attention to the other kids over him.

When Meg suddenly becomes internet famous, she and an excited Peter work together to build her following and create content for her new image that revolves around unhealthy eating. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie revel in a new ride while Brian's car gets repaired.