Carol continues to pursue Kurt, even though he insists their relationship is over and tries to convince her that Penny is his new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Bob tells Simon he hasn’t had sex for 23 years.

Simon has his big interview, and finds out if he can keep his job. Liz can’t wait to tell everyone about Kurt’s secret relationship with Carol. And Jenny and Simon finally admit to their feelings.

Jenny’s house-shaking romping with her new boyfriend Alec is driving Susan crazy, so she agrees to get a flat with Simon. And then Brian and Kurt convince Simon that he fancies her.

Jenny decides it’s time to finish with Alec; she just needs to work out how. Meanwhile, Simon shocks everyone by announcing he’s going to quit his job and fly to South America—on Saturday.

It is Obesity Awareness Month and Ben becomes obsessed with Lindsay’s weight. It’s purely selfish, of course; he’s worried her death would be bad for his own stress levels.

It’s Religious Tolerance Week and the teachers prepare to represent their allocated religions at the Tolerance Fair. Meanwhile, Bob finally takes delivery of his new wife.

A delusional Bob manages to convince himself that Penny fancies him. This spurs him into undergoing a ridiculous fitness regime, which soon results in total collapse. Is this the end of Bob?

The English department are left without a head when Bob is taken in for emergency surgery, and Clare decides that, whether he likes it or not, Matt is the ideal choice to act as Bobs replacement.

Maggie’s upset that Simon was clearly so embarrassed of her when she met his friends, so she stops returning his calls. Brian and Kurt let Simon move into their flat, which is a relief. At first ….

Susan drags the others over to the house to prove how annoying Jenny’s boyfriend is. Brian and Kurt are confused when J.P. spends the night with a girl.

The students lock Simon and Jenny in the stationery cupboard, where sexual tension gets the better of them. Spurred on by guilt, Simon moves in with Maggie and they throw a housewarming party.

The school is trashed after the Christmas party, the teachers are hungover, Bob is getting married in the playground—and the Ofsted Inspector is due. Happy Christmas, everyone!

Students and parents have been complaining about Lindsay, and she’s ended up with a formal warning. So she’s going to transform herself into ‘super-teacher’, with help from an unlikely guru: Bob.

Kurt thinks his luck with the ladies is changing. At parents’ evening he meets a woman he reckons he has a good chance of pulling. As usual, however, his judgement in these matters isn’t perfect.

Ewan is thrown into turmoil when he finds out that a pupil, John, fancies him. All his attempts to handle the situation sensitively backfire horribly.

Pornography with teachers’ faces superimposed on it has been doing the rounds, including a delightful depiction of Simon and Bob together. And Simon has to handle a female student's chest complaint.

Susan’s convinced Simon has a thing for women with authority. He’s determined to prove her wrong, even though his new policewoman girlfriend Maggie is coming into the school to talk about drugs.

Penny’s self-obsession and self-pity have reached such dizzying new heights that she’s driving everyone insane. Bored to tears with her moaning, Lindsay finally cracks.

Lindsay is about to turn 30, which is fine, until everyone points out that 30 is very old. What’s the best way to handle being 30? Grow old with grace and start acting your age, or the exact opposite?

Half the staff are off with stress, leaving the other half even more stressed. In a desperate bid to relieve the pressure, Clare assigns them all a stress partner, which proves very stressful.

Brians obsessed with Eileen—the only good-looking dinner lady in the world—and when Bob starts complaining loudly about the canteen food, Brian has to stand up for his dream woman.

Love, lust, and general weirdness are in the air. Penny’s started a new romance, Clare’s getting frisky, and in a drunken moment Matt and Lindsay find themselves snogging.

Simon’s life is a tragedy. He’s attracted to his dad’s fiancée, the stripper he just slept with is actually a real policewoman, and Jenny is livid after he told the students her lessons were boring.

Having split up with Alec, Jenny’s going through a hedonistic phase—much to Brian and Kurt’s delight as she keeps buying all the drinks.