When Ruben moonlights as a security guard for actress Gina Gershon, McNeil scams his way into taking over his assignment — with disastrous and hilarious results. Frank and the rest of the precinct also sign on to the personal security business with clients, including actor Scott Wolf. Meanwhile, Adinah suspects Pip is cheating on her, and Jan discovers Al has a surprising sideline.

McNeil suspects Toni is cheating on him with her boss. Meanwhile, Frank heads to the track with Tommy to place bets using police department money, and Jan and Ruben both vie for a gorgeous apartment left vacant by a murder.

McNeil suspects that Frank is gay and soon the whole precinct is trying to get Frank — and each other — "out of the closet." Meanwhile, Jan and Pip's shopping trip to an electronics store turns into an unexpected bust.

McNeil promises his wife that he'll quit drinking, just to prove he really doesn't have a problem. But he has trouble finding a substitute vice until he discovers the joys of abusing cold medicine. Meanwhile, the squad has second thoughts about busting a marijuana group's pot party when they meet the users.

Pip and Adinah celebrate their 25th anniversary with a no-smoking, no-drinking barbecue attended by church friends, the squad, McNeil and his wife — and McNeil's mistress. Soon there's an impromptu bar in the backyard and a brawl involving Tommy's belligerent girlfriend.

Tommy purloins a telescope from a crime scene, prompting hours of fun for the guys in the precinct, especially when they spy a topless, beautiful yoga practitioner nearby. Jan tries "speed dating" and meets a good prospect, Brad. Meanwhile, Frank repeatedly tries to return a dead body to its rightful precinct.

Mike's ugly altercation with a cab driver is captured on video and broadcast on TV. Now he must attend anger management classes and, to make matters worse, has chosen this week to quit smoking and drinking. Meanwhile, Ruben's mother wants him to apologize to a perp after Ruben shoots him.

All hell breaks lose when Frank loses a perp inside the precinct. While on his way to the bathroom, in desperate need of relief, McNeil finds the perp but is taken hostage at gunpoint. Will McNeil get out in time to go to his marriage counseling session? Meanwhile, Ruben and Al are sent on a mysterious mission.

McNeil is trying to juggle the demands of his wife, his girlfriend and his partner, Pip, who has doubts about his own attractiveness. Meanwhile, a guilty suspect refuses to confess, prompting some fresh approaches by Frank, Tommy and McNeil, and someone is throwing cans of beans out the window at unsuspecting pedestrians. It is up to Mike and his colleagues to make the city safer, without losing their minds or their lives in the process.

Actress and model Elizabeth Hurley is being harassed and all the guys in the precinct want to be assigned to her case. McNeil wins out in more ways than one — he heads up the case and Elizabeth asks him out. Meanwhile, millionaire mogul Donald Trump makes a cameo appearance during McNeil's date, and Pip's wife, Adinah, takes a stand against McNeil.

McNeil and Pip are assigned to take the District Attorney's twelve-year-old daughter on a ride-along for her school paper. McNeil is less than thrilled about their assignment, especially when they lose her in the city. Meanwhile, Frank disguises himself as a priest to draw a confession out of a parishioner, and an unconventional "nun" strips down to more than her habit at the precinct.

When McNeil suspects that Karen's male friend, Ron, is trying to put the moves on his wife, he assigns Ruben and Al to do some surveillance. Meanwhile, Tommy and Frank search for Robert De Niro's missing dog in hopes of finally meeting their longtime idol.