The Colbert Report Episode Rating Graph

Katie Holmes divorces Tom Cruise, Mitt Romney retroactively retires from Bain Capital, Starbucks hits funeral homes, and Anne-Marie Slaughter talks career choice and family.

Mitt Romney seeks a bland running mate, Tennessee outlaws "gateway sexual activity" education, survivalists plan for the unthinkable, and Arianna Huffington talks journalism.

Stephen fights Jimmy Fallon over his new ice cream flavor, and Mark Moffett talks about bees.

Troops and their families face unique economic challenges, Stephen trains a Marine to be a pundit, and Michelle Obama voices support for military families.

Chen Guangcheng escapes house arrest, Missouri wants to outlaw sexuality dialogue in schools, companies offer "concealed carry" clothing, and Diane Keaton promotes her memoir.

Newt Gingrich suspends his campaign and backs Mitt Romney, Stephen tracks a Super PAC rival, Buzz Aldrin presents a space award, and writer Lena Dunham talks "Girls."

Stephen weighs in on his impressive legacy, Grimmy resorts to violence, friends of the show join a massive sing-along, and The Report draws to a spectacular close.

Hurricane Isaac hits the 2012 GOP convention, Stephen hosts Colbert Super PAC's Convention, Rep. Todd Akin blunders on rape pregnancy, and Andrew Sullivan talks U.S. politics.

Nevada's presidential ballot threatens Mitt Romney, Texas Republicans reject critical thinking education, the Rosenbach Museum honors Stephen, and Nas talks hip-hop.

Marijuana legalization can win elections, Super PACs raise more money than ad space, Xiaflex treatment corrects curved penises, and Steve Coll examines ExxonMobil.

Rick Santorum panders to the elderly, Maurice Sendak discusses his literary work, and Andrew Sullivan praises Barack Obama's greatest accomplishments.

Jack White presents "Charlene II (I'm Over You)," and Stephen performs with the Black Belles.

Stephen gets ready for the royal wedding and talks to Jeff Greenfield about alternate histories.

Stephen prepares for the royal wedding, and David Tang corrects celebrity rumors.

The Wisconsin anti-union law faces trouble, and Piers Gibbon talks about cannibalism.

Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart report live from Indecision World Headquarters where Comedy Central has rounded up the best researchers and consultants (that it can afford) to provide shallow analysis, obscure factoids, random guesses and pointless sound.

America's leaders talk like teens, North Carolina bans climate change models, Represent-O-Map 6000 fuels BKAD bookings, and John Lewis describes the civil rights movement.

Rick Santorum drops his presidential campaign, the EPA sets coal industry regulations, Stephen honors male "Lady Heroes," and Richard Hersh examines higher education.

Geraldo Rivera blames the Trayvon Martin shooting on hoodies, Mitt Romney boosts Etch a Sketch sales, and biomedical researcher Dr. David Page defends the Y chromosome.

Billionaires need donor anonymity, Claire McCaskill opposes secret money, Stephen honors the late Maurice Sendak, and Michelle Alexander examines racial inequality.

Neil deGrasse Tyson wrecks movies, the Church scorns a nun's sex book, Simone Campbell explores service, the Banana Bunker prevents bruising, and Martin Sheen talks acting.

Mike Tyson bails on The Report, liberal shills love Shepard Smith, pundits speculate about James Holmes' political ties, and filmmaker Vikram Gandhi explores made-up philosophy.

The private sector plans Mars reality TV, Scott Walker prevails in Wisconsin, an Arkansas town bans bingo, Neil Patrick Harris talks theater, and Stephen honors Ray Bradbury.

The "Mitt Romney story" storms the GOP convention, Ann Romney tries to reach women voters, Paul Ryan breaks from Ayn Rand, and Jennifer Burns explores Ayn Rand's objectivism.

Republicans attack Barack Obama's slow jam, Stephen releases the first Super Fun Pack treasure hunt clue, and Jack White discusses his solo album and rare marketing ploy.

An ex-Playmate jolts Mexico's debate, North Carolina snubs gay marriage as Barack Obama backs it, Jon McNaughton paints socialist America, and Anna Wintour talks fashion.

Mitt Romney owns a competition horse, the U.S. leaks anti-terror info, Barack Obama blunders, Stephen seeks Sweden's Twitter, and Will Allen talks urban farms.

Donald Trump makes a contentious claim, Egypt kicks off its presidential elections, and Charlize Theron discusses her film "Snow White and the Huntsman."

Barack Obama makes an Osama bin Laden ad, Paul Ryan plans cuts to poor people, Rev. Thomas Reese contests Paul Ryan's budget, and Carne Ross recommends leaderless democracy.

Super Tuesday II goes live, Stephen plugs his children's book, Julie Andrews discusses fairy tales, Canada creates a bioluminescent coin, and Magnus Carlsen talks chess.

General Ray Odierno steps up to the plate to be Stephen’s first guest in Iraq.

Alisyn Camerota criticizes U.S. patriotism, Wikipedia writers sway elections, Steve King defends dogfighting, and Mark Shriver highlights his father's civic influence.

Democrats lack money for the national convention, Mike Turzai sparks Voter ID controversy, Oreo cookies come out of the closet, and Melinda Gates explores family planning.

At the Clinton Global Initiative University Meeting, President Bill Clinton discusses foreign aid, poverty, TED Talks, Twitter and the Colbert Galactic Initiative.

Designers craft a Richard Branson ice mold, debt collectors infiltrate hospitals, Germany censures Kermit the Frog, and Jonathan Haidt discusses conflict and politics.

Stephen comes clean with Jack White, Obama defends actions in Libya, and Talib Kweli performs.

Newt Gingrich struggles to stay on message, and Austan Goolsbee talks about the debt ceiling.

Stephen warns of a new government intrusion and talks to John Bradshaw about dog behavior.

Mitt Romney spotlights struggling waiters, tablet computers go Christian, Def Leppard covers its songs, and Houston Mayor Annise Parker talks business and gay marriage.

Danny Boyle directs the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony, Mitt Romney lacks dressage expertise, Tony Robbins' fire stunt burns participants, and Joan Rivers shares her memoir.

Daft Punk abandons StePhest Colbchella '013, Stephen angers his Hyundai sponsors, and "Blurred Lines" singer Robin Thicke saves Stephen's career.

Stephen starts an "O" Book Club, Matt Cartwright speaks Spanish, Fox & Friends gets the word out about a guy singing like a canary, and Gene Robinson advocates gay rights.

Herman Cain blames Democrats for his troubles, Michigan Senate Republicans amend an anti-bullying bill, and Father James Martin explores the role of comedy in religion.

Barack Obama unveils his jobs plan, Paul Krugman discusses the Lesser Depression, and Al Gore focuses on climate reality.

Jack White helps Stephen revive his music career, and Florence and the Machine perform.

Tonight Stephen welcomes rapper, actor and star of Hancock, Will Smith.

Stephen balks at a scientific study saying that chimpanzees are more evolved than humans in DNA. On "The Word," he talks about John Edwards' $400 haircut and considers him going over to the Republican party. Colbert then interviews Sean Penn, and leads to a Meta-Free-Phor-All hosted by Pinsky (the decider of topics for the rounds used humorous pictures and sound effects in the style of The Daily Show's "God Machine," which Colbert usually took part in).

The Supreme Court postpones Obamacare rulings, Mitt Romney asks Florida to limit good jobs news, teens abuse drugs to study better, and Frank Deford explores sports writing.

Mitt Romney struggles to attract African American voters, Paul Ryan lies in his GOP convention speech, and Jon Huntsman examines campaign finance and the Republican Party.

The New York Knicks' Jeremy Lin seduces America, Stephen writes a love letter to Jimmy Fallon, and Bill McKibben fights the Keystone XL pipeline.

Liberals and conservatives taint the election, Bill O'Reilly blames Romney's loss on non-whites, wind turbines affect mental health, and Doris Kearns Goodwin recites history.

The New York Post misidentifies Boston Marathon suspects, Stephen debuts the Bucket, the Senate opposes gun background checks, and Richard Engel describes Syrian militias.

Brit Hume critiques the DNC convention noise level, Michelle Obama rakes in record tweet numbers during her speech, and Michael Grunwald explores the Recovery Act.

Arizona pursues state immigration laws, Pixar flaunts its gay agenda, Dish Network's AutoHop removes all TV ads, and writer Richard Ford talks about his novel "Canada."

Freestyle canoe dancing heats up, and Henry Kissinger discusses America's relationship with China.

7-Eleven and Pizza Hut participate in politics, doctors prescribe Adderall for bad test scores, bears invade America's malls, and Naomi Wolf sheds light on female anatomy.

Black History Month coincides with Children's Dental Health Month, Chris Christie's bridge scandal worsens, and Pussy Riot discusses human rights and the Putin regime.

Greg Smith is a "Banker-dict Arnold," Rick Santorum condemns teleprompters, Kermit the Frog weighs in on the GOP primary race, and Mark McKinnon talks about reforming Congress.

Sarah Palin bows out of the presidential race, Stephen apologizes to Karl Rove, and Lieutenant Colonel Jason Amerine discusses the early days of the Afghanistan War.

Barack Obama changes immigration policy, Neil Munro interrupts the president, Sweden confronts Stephen's Twitter-control crusade, and Paul Krugman talks economic strategy.

Fox News slams Barack Obama's secret video, Mitt Romney explains what he won't do in office, a papyrus scrap mentions Jesus' wife, and violinist Itzhak Perlman performs live.

Engineers enhance Olympic sounds, Mitt Romney offends England, Chick-Fil-A opposes gay marriage, and Peter Westmacott discusses the summer Olympic games.

Gov. Scott Walker botches a Jewish phrase, Ridley Scott casts white actors to play Egyptians, Stephen raffles off set pieces from The Report, and Smaug discusses "The Hobbit."

The U.S. government warns of a looming terror threat somewhere, Alex Rodriguez gets suspended for doping, and Hugh Laurie shares his blues album, "Didn't It Rain".

Mayor Mike Bloomberg defends New York's stop-and-frisk, the TSA expands its duties, and Congressman John Lewis chats about his graphic novel, "March".

Russia protects Edward Snowden, Mayor Bob Filner blames San Diego for his sexual misconduct, Gitmo prisoners read erotic romance, and Bryan Cranston talks meth and Malcolm.

Mark Pocan tempts Stephen with divorce, precision-guided guns promote skill-free killing, and John Dingell wants Congress to learn how to compromise.

President Obama's amnesty plan outrages Republicans, the world's chocolate supply drops to catastrophic levels, and Jon Stewart discusses his movie "Rosewater."

Girly hats could emasculate the Marines, and Stephen Fry discusses his role in "Twelfth Night".

Congress shuts down the government, Butterball appeases male cooks, and "Breaking Bad" creator Vince Gilligan discusses the final season.

Hobbit Week ends, Stephen gets the Madame Tussauds treatment, and Peter Jackson receives clarification on Tolkien lore.

Colbert Super PAC inspires Mitt Romney, Sasha Issenberg talks data-driven politics, Joe Scarborough doubts liberal math models, and Nate Silver reviews election statistics.

Mitt Romney's presidential smile wins out, undecided voters skip the debates, Lance Armstrong's doping taints his charity, and John Grisham writes about crooked lawyers.

Police bust Fred Willard for lewd conduct, Dave Leonhardt explores the Libor scandal, Canadians out-earn Americans, and Lisa Jackson talks green standards.

Niagara Falls welcomes a stuntman, cafeteria workers demand expired food, orangutans operate iPads, and Gregg Allman recalls his rock 'n' roll past.

Mitt Romney faces questions about his tax rate, Stephen announces his South Carolina rally, and David Frum shares his hopes for the Republican Party.

Rick Santorum rises in the polls, Stephen remembers the late Kim Jong-il, and Bernie Sanders strives to overturn the Citizens United decision.

Herman Cain gives his take on homosexuality, Mexico City proposes two-year marriage licenses, and Black Star performs.

Rick Davis weighs in on Chris Christie fever, ESPN pulls Hank Williams Jr.'s song, and John Lithgow talks drama.

People enjoy a story more when they know how it ends, Prescott Group unveils its toning shoes, and Tim Pawlenty explains why he pulled out of the presidential race.

Stephen apologizes to WOI in Des Moines, Michele Bachmann wins the Iowa straw poll, and Ambassador Susan Rice discusses the role of the United Nations.

Stephen examines the Weiner scandal, and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. makes a mountain out of a molehill.

n this episode, Stephen recovers from a Catholic bender, and Donald Trump leads in the potential Republican candidate polls. Masturbation cures restless leg syndrome, and Ron Paul criticizes the Federal Reserve.

Unilever creates armpit insecurity among women, and Morgan Spurlock addresses product placement.

Mitt Romney throws his hat in the ring, and Ray Kurzweil says man and machine are becoming one.

Stephen questions Obama's plan for Libya and talks infectious diseases with Dr. Anthony Fauci.

Labor unions fight on, and Stephen stands outside with a bullhorn to interview Michael Moore.

Food prices skyrocket, a cable news feud escalates, and Jody Williams wants to advance equality.

The art world buzzes about Stephen's portrait, and Ayman Mohyeldin talks in the Situation Mosque.

Clarence Thomas may have a conflict of interest, and David Brooks talks about "The Social Animal."

Aaron Barr threatens WikiLeaks, and Mike Huckabee doesn't believe Obama is a Muslim.

Some want the dollar to be converted back to gold, and Geoffrey Canada advocates for education reform.

A popular children's TV character is outed, and Elvis Costello threatens to cut off Stephen's thumbs.

Tonight Stephen welcomes singer Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings.

Eccentric candidates dominate Idaho's gubernatorial debate, a Middle Eastern virus migrates to the U.S., and Patrick Stewart chats about "X-Men: Days of Future Past."

Obama develops a case of senioritis, bears continue to threaten America, and Google's Vint Cerf describes his role in co-creating the Internet.

Carey Mulligan divulges a dark secret, Jennifer Egan discusses "The Great Gatsby"'s place in American letters, and Baz Luhrmann pays homage to F. Scott Fitzgerald.

An Exxon pipeline bursts in Arkansas, Jeremy Irons compares gay marriage to incest, and NIH Director Francis Collins explains Obama's BRAIN Initiative.

Campbell's promotes soups for millennials, the Petraeus scandal escalates, meth protects against influenza, and Chris Stringer talks primitive humans.

The Forever Stamp skyrockets in value, blood transfers boost health, the Senate looks into "Zero Dark Thirty," and Chris Kluwe defends same-sex marriage.

Hurricane Sandy wreaks havoc on New Jersey, Mitt Romney hosts a relief rally, Donald Trump cuts Obama some slack, and Lilly Ledbetter explores gender pay discrimination.

NSA leaker Edward Snowden goes missing, Darrell Issa probes the IRS, news becomes truthinews, the KKK engineers a laser, and Andrew Solomon defines "exceptional" children.

Late night television causes depression, America faces a disastrous drought, NASA schedules vegan meals, and James Fallows explores China's aerospace business.

Michael Sam becomes the NFL's first openly gay draft pick, conspiracy theories swirl around Monica Lewinsky's Vanity Fair essay, and Glenn Greenwald talks "No Place to Hide."

G.K. Butterfield gives a primer on North Carolina, cable news pundits embrace wild theories about Malaysia's missing plane, and Bryan Cranston discusses LBJ and "All the Way."

Herman Cain holds a press conference to address sexual harassment charges, Stephen saves Christmas, and Seth Meyers talks "Saturday Night Live."

CIA Director David Petraeus steps down after an affair, Karl Rove faces angry benefactors, Jon Stewart assists Colbert Super PAC, and Ken Burns shares "The Central Park Five.

In his Mr. Colbert Goes to Washington special, Stephen broadcasts from George Washington University and discusses job creation and immigration with President Barack Obama.

Congress disregards the Army's wishes, Iowa cracks illegal immigration, Budweiser encourages Facebook friendships, and Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy make photos disappear.

Stephen sets the date for his GOP debate, Dick Harpootlian helps Colbert Super PAC with its referendum, and ballet dancer David Hallberg performs.

Congressional leaders fail to compromise on the government shutdown, Stephen officiates a wedding, and David Finkel examines post-war trauma in "Thank You for Your Service".

Stephen's sister loses her run for Congress, Republicans spite Obama, parents forego diapers, and Richard Besser shares his book, "Tell Me the Truth, Doctor.

Obamacare mandates birth control coverage, Democrats pass a Democratic tax bill, U.S.women's gymnastics wins Olympic gold, and John Grunsfeld shares NASA's plan for Mars.

Terrorists attack the Boston Marathon, Canada manufactures Sexcereal, the Rollie Eggmaster cooks up gelatinous egg rods, and Caroline Kennedy recites poetry with Stephen.

A week's worth of horrible news weighs on Stephen, Sarah Palin launches her own web channel, and Jon Batiste and Stay Human perform a song off their album "Social Music."

Mitt Romney's press secretary lashes out, Rafalca delays Mitt's VP announcement, Colbert Nation plans for StePhest Colbchella '012, and Jeff Koons explores arts education.

Stephen involves college students with Colbert Super PAC, Mitt Romney tries comedy, and Peter Beinart discusses Israel.

The NSA whistleblower explains himself, violent protests break out in Turkey, missile launch officers dislike their jobs, and Dan Savage criticizes DOMA.

Barack Obama addresses his usage of drones, Andrew Bacevich thinks war is bad, Pope Francis embraces atheists, and C.J. Chivers reports on Syrian rebels.

Rolling Stone features the Boston bombing suspect, Congress removes food stamps from the farm bill, and Jerry Seinfeld shares his series, "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

A bong-shaped mascot upsets a Canadian town, and Julius Erving discusses "Dr. J: The Autobiography".

Joe Biden debates Paul Ryan, Martian Obama rumors surface, Stephen argues with Stephen over Mitt Romney's conservative credentials, and Chrystia Freeland talks "Plutocrats.

Barack Obama leads Mitt Romney in the polls, Peggy Noonan gives Mitt advice, the NFL lockout bumps up ratings, and boxer Claressa Shields describes a satisfying punch.

Pakistan's "Sesame Street" faces corruption, Mitt Romney's house meets critique, a pig divides America, and singer Regina Spektor talks about music and Russia.

Rick Perry drops out of the GOP race, Newt Gingrich's ex-wife exposes his controversial marital request, and Carrie Rebora Barratt discusses historical American art.

Stephen unveils Colbert Super PAC's message, Frank Luntz conducts a focus group, and GOP presidential candidate Jon Huntsman talks about fixing America.

The world faces an unavoidable bacon shortage, President Obama restores the Ottoman Empire, churchgoers pray for Mitt Romney, and Jim Holt ponders the universe.

Stephen is suspicious of geriatric jihadists, Rick Santorum speaks from his heart, and Dexter Filkins tells Stephen why we need other countries.

Stephen interviews a role-playing congressional candidate, Fox Business anchor Stu Varney gushes about his popular appeal, and Ellen Page talks "X-Men: Days of Future Past."

Shepard Smith battles digital addiction, and Jack Andraka shares his passion for science.

Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan connect over policy, GOP Senate candidates challenge the 17th Amendment, and The Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne shares his latest album.

A Mexican cartel burns down PepsiCo, gay bars target bachelorettes, Mitt Romney breaks into iPhone apps, Robert Mugabe heads global tourism, and Alan Alda talks science.

Stephen salutes Mother's Day, Barack Obama rejects Jesus, gay strokes and monkeys threaten America, Republicans forge identities, and Francis Collins examines obesit

Congress peppers and grills Eric Holder, China seeks peace in the Middle East, a nonprofit provides access to printable guns, and Daniel Lieberman endorses toe shoes.

The media weighs presidential nominees for 2016, Sonia Sotomayor crushes girlish pipe dreams, and Newt Gingrich admits he guessed wrong about the election.

America gets its own commercial, college athletes struggle with literacy, a sex scandal rocks France, and Gabriel Sherman talks "The Loudest Voice in the Room".

The royal couple name their baby George, Anthony Weiner apologizes for his latest sexts, Kanye West designs a blank t-shirt, and Anant Agarwal discusses his nonprofit, edX.

Jon Stewart congratulates Stephen on his Emmys, Pope Francis speaks out on Catholic teachings, and Metallica presents its film, "Metallica: Through the Never.

The Prince of Wails is born, George Zimmerman helps a family in need, Barack Obama empathizes with black men, and poet Kenneth Goldsmith revisits seven U.S. tragedies.

ABC's Jonathan Karl lies about the Benghazi scandal, Stephen applies for Tea Party tax exemption, and David Sassoon shares his e-book, "The Dilbit Disaster.

Mitt Romney pledges to defund PBS, Chris Matthews berates Barack Obama, Pennsylvania rules against voter ID laws, and Harvard geneticist George Church explores DNA.

Paul Ryan tiptoes around tax plan costs, U.S. prison labor threatens small business, Iran's presidential aides visit Costco, and Ben Folds Five explains their album title.

Vladimir Putin glides with cranes, Mitt Romney tries to sway Hispanics, an amateur painter botches Jesus, and Errol Morris talks Jeffrey MacDonald and filmmaking.

Mitt Romney deploys Donald Trump in Michigan, Rick Santorum attacks environmentalists, and Ann Patchett fights to revive bookstores.

Jon Stewart puts out an attack ad, Jon Huntsman withdraws from the presidential race, and Scott Douglas takes a stand against Alabama's anti-immigrant law.

Stephen joins Occupy Wall Street, Wisconsin allows concealed weapons in its Capitol, and Neil MacGregor tells the history of the world with 100 objects.

Occupy Wall Street wears out its welcome, Stephen unveils his second NBA lockout Super PAC ad, and Toby Keith performs.

A defunct satellite threatens the earth, the Marine Corps limits troops to silent farts in Afghanistan, and Jeremy Ben-Ami discusses the Israeli-Palestinian peace process.

Mitt Romney thinks corporations are people too, Stephen reveals his super PAC ad, and Gloria Steinem discusses gender equality.

Fox News blows the lid back onto the Murdoch story, and John Prendergast discusses South Sudan.

The Rupert Murdoch scandal deepens, and Jose Antonio Vargas comes out of the border-gay closet.

Stephen travels to England for the royal wedding, and asks Wade Graham about Covent Garden.

George W. Bush praises the troops, and Frank A. Grippe orders his officers to sing the Army song.

Stephen welcomes Sergeant Robin Balcom and Specialist Tareq Salha to his international desk of wisdom and truthiness.

A Senate report reveals that the CIA made false claims about enhanced interrogation, Common Core math tests create mass confusion, and Jane Goodall talks "Seeds of Hope.

Atheists protest a cross displayed at the 9/11 memorial, a Kentucky church group hosts a gun giveaway, and Neil deGrasse Tyson discusses his Fox series, "Cosmos."

Google buys a robotics company, the NSA infiltrates online games, Stephen and Billy Crystal compete for a Grammy, and Jonah Peretti discusses BuzzFeed's journalism initiative.

The RNC sends a giant squirrel after Hillary Clinton, Thad Cochran reminisces about indecent acts with animals, and Katty Kay and Claire Shipman discuss "The Confidence Code."

Powerball sales skyrocket, Fox News explains why women can't get married, Harry Reid tries to curb filibusters, and Frank Oz talks Muppets.

L.A. teens drink Purell, Joe Biden supports same-sex marriage, Eric McCormack plays a straight man, bears hijack broadcasting, and TV host Andy Cohen talks entertainment.

Steve Doocy reports on Barack Obama's subtext, Arizona redefines pregnancy, Mitt Romney insults a Pittsburgh bakery, and Don McLeroy discusses textbook standards.

Barack Obama meets with congressional leaders about the government "slim down", Bill O'Reilly talks divine inspiration, and Chris Matthews compares Obama and Reagan.

Bradley Manning is found not guilty, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have lunch, Chris Christie and Rand Paul feud, and Emily Matchar shares the "new domesticity".

Apple unveils its smartwatch, Detroit firefighters manage to innovate despite a lack of resources, and Jason Segel discusses his children's book, "Nightmares!"

Chris Christie is full of Scooby-Doo-doo, Thomas Herndon takes down Reinhart and Rogoff, and Google's Eric Schmidt talks digital identities.

Donald Trump wants Barack Obama's passport papers, Fox News rehashes the Benghazi attacks, Richard Mourdock justifies rape pregnancies, and Anthony Everitt talks Rome.

Stephen releases "America Again," pastors endorse politicians on Pulpit Freedom Sunday, the Romney camp praises Obama's rhetoric, and Jorge Ramos talks immigration policy.

Stephen gives up something he truly enjoys for Lent, Target knows when customers miss their periods, and Nancy Pelosi objects to super PACs.

Michele Bachmann gets an e-mail snub, Bill McKibben opposes construction of the Keystone XL pipeline, and Thomas Thwaites talks toasters.

Wisconsin Democrats get bad absentee ballot applications, Stephen takes over MLB's Twitter feed, and Anthony Bourdain describes the grossest things he's ever eaten.

David Letterman announces his retirement, Botox helps treat depression, Bill O'Reilly fights the grievance-industrial complex, and Sting performs "The Last Ship."

Superman gets a makeover, Laurie Garrett reviews Monsanto's wheat incident, the Chicago Sun-Times scraps photojournalism, and Jonathan Alter dissects the 2012 election.

Americans resort to harvesting their bodies, and Billy Collins talks about his book, "Aimless Love".

Rep. Steve Pearce investigates the child immigrant crisis, P.K. Winsome offers advice on impeaching Obama, and Julia Ioffe discusses the Russia-Ukraine conflict.

The debt ceiling looms, Eric Holder permits pro-pot laws, and Paul Giamatti talks "Parkland".

Unemployment drops, Colbert's Very Wanted tracks a mailbox mutilator, a biker brightens Stephen's commute, and Anne Rice deals with werewolf psychology in "The Wolf Gift."

Colbert Super PAC segments earn a Peabody award, Mitt Romney must appeal to Latino voters, Quaker Oats gets a facelift, and deep sea explorer Robert Ballard talks Titanic.

Fox News's Dr. Keith Ablow floats a conspiracy theory about the World Cup, North Carolina upholds a possum-dropping tradition, and Paul Rudd chats about "They Both Came."

The pope might lead a secret life, the FDA targets trans fat, the McRib is scrutinized, a tech firm invents an office robot, and Ed Stone discusses the Voyager missions.

The Report hosts Hobbit Week, safer streets weaken a Republican wedge issue, medical grade sheds replace nursing homes, and Sir Ian McKellen prefers Gandalf the Grey.

"America Again" offends Canadians, Wall Street chucks its weakest link, Christopher Steiner reviews computer trading, and screenwriter Tony Kushner talks "Lincoln.

CNN enhances debate viewing, Emily Bazelon talks affirmative action, Paul Ryan pretends to volunteer, and Mayor Cory Booker explores party platforms and social media.

Iran replaces outgoing President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Rep. Steve King opposes chicken cage laws, Nestle markets to higher-income women, and Joss Whedon talks Shakespeare.

Stephen calls for aid to the Philippines, The Today Show airs live prostate exams, and Alexis Ohanian discusses online democracy and his book, "Without Their Permission".

Mark Sanford runs against Elizabeth Colbert Busch, Louie Gohmert compares gun control to bestiality, the GOP surveys young people, and A.C. Grayling talks God and reason.

Former president Jimmy Carter visits The Report to discuss his lifelong passion for human rights and his book "A Call to Action."

Bill O'Reilly cites the "downside" of woman presidents, Chevron delivers pizza, Headline News targets the social media generation, and Beau Willimon talks "House of Cards."

Hanksy dolls up Stephen's studio, and Reed Albergotti and Vanessa O'Connell discuss Lance Armstrong.

A computer passes for a human being, a robot demands civil rights, the Jacksonville Jaguars install swimming pools in their stadium, and John Waters talks "Carsick."

Conservatives scrutinize Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, North Korea invents a mushroom sports drink, football players sue the NFL, and Chrissie Hynde performs songs from "Stockholm."

The Obama administration lies about Benghazi talking points, the IRS inspects Tea Party groups, and Jessica Buchanan and Erik Landemalm share their book, "Impossible Odds.

Police bust a Canadian for lying about Santa, congressional Republicans abandon Grover Norquist, Reihan Salam describes Reagan's tax plan, and Dolly Parton promotes literacy.

Stephen files his super PAC request, and Alison Klayman talks about Chinese artist Ai Weiwei.

Walgreens offers Pap smears, and Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage test the blue ice myth.

Tom Hanks and Stephen prepare a care package, and Charles H. Jacoby Jr. picks his favorite soldier.

Michelle Obama promotes H2O, Republicans regulate Obamacare navigators, Jihawg Ammo makes bacon bullets, and Jack Johnson shares his album, "From Here to Now to You.

The Today Show features twerking, Senator Rush Holt champions public education, and Senator Sheldon Whitehouse chats about his book, "On Virtues.

Gay marriage gets a legal boost, Emily Bazelon analyzes the Supreme Court's decisions, and Bill Moyers chronicles the slow death of the American middle class.

Apple announces ethnically-diverse emoticons, Stephen responds to the #CancelColbert Twitter fiasco, and Biz Storm discusses his Jelly app and "Things a Little Bird Told Me."

HealthCare.gov relaunches, turkeys compete for Obama's pardon, Amazon embraces drones, a Christmas tree saves Christmas, and Daniel Goleman discusses his book, "Focus".

Hobbit Week continues with Bilbo Baggins, testosterone gels trigger family hair growth, morning sickness socks Kate Middleton, and Martin Freeman talks TV roles and Tolkien.

Season finale.

An Al Qaeda video tips off U.S. forces, critics advance conspiracy theories about Hillary Clinton, a church embraces mixed martial arts, and Ken Burns talks "The Address."

The government shuts down, Americans flood the Affordable Care Act website, anti-Obamacare groups target youth, and Daniel Radcliffe describes his film, "Kill Your Darlings".

Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad employs chemical weapons, The Daily Show gets Jon back, Rep. Dan Kildee promotes sugar beets, and Timothy Cardinal Dolan examines the papacy.

New York experiences a nor'easter, an Albany strip club claims to sell art, platonic friends learn the scientific truth, and Rachel Maddow talks election night.

Stephen honors his late mother, Cap'n Crunch lies about his rank, house flipping makes a comeback, and the Postal Service discusses their electronic music.

NSA Wiretapping Scandal, Jeffrey Rosen on the Fourth Amendment, TSA Detains Chewbacca, Daniel Bergner, "What Do Women Want?".

Congress agrees on a budget, a sleeping aid has terrifying side effects, Megyn Kelly argues that Santa is white, and author George Packer discusses "The Unwinding".

The U.S. accuses China of cyber spying, Republicans take ferocious aim at Hillary Clinton, the E.U. offers people a clean slate on Google, and Matthew Weiner talks "Mad Men."

TONIGHT: Stephen Colbert welcomes 60 Minutes correspondent, Lesley Stahl!

A rodeo clown wears an Obama mask, fracking companies put gag orders on families, Obama talks NSA transparency, and Professor Richard Brodhead promotes the humanities.

The Vatican welcomes Pope Francis, Roma Downey stars in "The Bible," Trevor Potter memorializes Ham Rove, and Junot Diaz shares the Freedom University project.

Jan Brewer vetoes anti-gay legislation, a study suggests that race is subjective, the KKK embraces sci-fi technology, and Jeff Goldblum discusses "The Grand Budapest Hotel."

Stephen welcomes Jimmy Fallon to The Tonight Show, Piers Morgan offends the trans community, Janet Mock explores gender identity, and Brian Greene discusses World Science U.

Lois Lerner won't spill the IRS scandal beans, Mitch McConnell endorses hemp, PBS appeases David Koch, and The National shares their album "Trouble Will Find Me.

Red Bull sponsors a record sky dive, the EU receives the Nobel Peace Prize, Florida deals with a marauding monkey, and Evan Thomas reveals President Eisenhower's views on war.

Mitt Romney wraps up the GOP convention, Clint Eastwood's empty chair joins Stephen, Neil Armstrong passes away, and James Carville talks about the middle class.

The Colbert Nation helps the Philippines, conservatives gloat over Obamacare, Chip Wilson defends his yoga pants, and Steve McQueen talks "12 Years a Slave".

Pope Francis grants sainthood to his predecessors, Dr. Paul Offit makes the case for vaccination, and Michael McFaul expands on Russia's complex relationship with the U.S.

Surgeon and writer Atul Gawande discusses his New Yorker article "Slow Ideas."

The U.S. Postal Service honors gay activist Harvey Milk, Stephen examines California's 29th district, and George Will talks "A Nice Little Place on the North Side."

The UN describes bugs as "mini-livestock," Congresswoman Gwen Moore rides shotgun, and Cyndi Lauper outlines her Broadway musical, "Kinky Boots.

Stephen repossesses the Colbert Super PAC, Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney compete for the Hispanic vote in Florida, and Laurence Tribe explores constitutional law.

Rick Perry talks immigration, America gets tough on pregnant Mexicans, John Lithgow calls the Atone Phone, and Ken Burns discusses his Prohibition documentary.

The Republican Party has a fresh young face that's only 235 years old, and David McCullough has a new book about Americans in Paris.

Michele Bachmann signs a controversial pledge, and Dan Savage talks about marriage and monogamy.

The FEC allows Stephen to form his Super PAC, and Timothy Garton Ash discusses subversive facts.

Seniors face a shocking new threat, and Keith Olbermann returns to television.

Stephen explores "Sesame Street" corruption and talks to Janny Scott about Barack Obama's mother.

Anthony Weiner captures the manscaping vote, and Bre Pettis print a 3-D copy of Stephen's head.

Stephen throws a "We Got Bin Laden" party, and Francis Fukuyama warns of the Chinese threat.

The new danger in air travel comes with a $25 fee, and Ice-T talks about his memoir.

Congress bans the sale of traditional light bulbs, and Dan Sinker impersonates Rahm Emanuel.

A Malaysia Airlines plane crashes in Ukraine, conservatives react to the child immigrant crisis, coal rollers embrace pollution, and Steven M. Wise talks "Rattling the Cage."

FreedomWorks burns fake Obama insurance cards, North Carolina allows concealed weapons in bars, and the Lumineers share their self-titled debut album.

Republicans contemplate a Celebrity Task Force, Senator Rob Portman flip-flops on gay marriage, and Eric Topol shares his book, "The Creative Destruction of Medicine.

Stephen trains for Super Bowl greatness, the Puppy Bowl gets a new player, Joe Biden distracts at the State of the Union, and Cris Carter discusses football and "Going Deep."

Stephen weighs in on lions and tigers, KFC invents the "Go Cup" and A. Scott Berg discusses his book, "Wilson".

Russia's anti-gay laws affect Olympic athletes, Obama hires psychologists to "nudge" public opinion, and Kevin Spacey talks "House of Cards".

The Vatican promotes acceptance of gays, a Republican ad compares Governor Rick Scott to a wedding dress, and "Special Deluxe" author Neil Young performs a duet with Stephen.

The NFL prohibits mention of the Super Bowl, Richard Sherman unleashes a post-game rant, the Grammys embrace gay marriage, and FiveThirtyEight's Nate Silver discusses sports.

Michael Bloomberg issues post-Sandy travel mandates, Mitt Romney sways Billy Graham on Mormonism, and music marvel David Byrne teams up with St. Vincent.

Lower unemployment rates prompt GOP conspiracy theories, rich Americans want Obama's respect, World of Warcraft shapes a state campaign, and Mark Kelly talks mice in space.

NASA discovers a Martian doughnut, U.S. nuclear officers cheat on proficiency tests, the Westminster Dog Show allows mutts, and Charles Duhigg talks "The Power of Habit."

Scientists embrace gender equality for lab rats, a product revolutionizes beef jerky, and Elizabeth Warren discusses the banking industry and her memoir, "A Fighting Chance."

A new app helps people cut down on their smartphone usage, Sean Hannity reminisces about being spanked, and Terry Gilliam discusses his film "The Zero Theorem."

Open-carry gun supporters publish a children's book, Hillary Clinton discusses "Hard Choices," and James Cameron talks about "DeepSea Challenge 3D."

Experts claim to have found the Holy Grail, Emily Bazelon weighs in on money in politics, Bill O'Reilly embraces inequality, and Mark Mazzetti talks "The Way of the Knife."

Mitt Romney wins the Arizona GOP debate, Elie Wiesel protests the Mormon conversion of dead Jews, and Placido Domingo discusses his operatic performances.

Christine O'Donnell backs Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann frets over military bestiality, and Ray Odierno celebrates the troops homecoming from Iraq.

Newt Gingrich denies lobbying, conservatives bid Barney Frank farewell, and Stephen Sondheim ponders the artist life.

Herman Cain's sexual harassment controversy unfolds; Stephen returns to Wall Street; and Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer and Chris Thile perform.

John Lithgow performs Gingrich's press release, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar discusses the Harlem Rens.

The Supreme Court upholds a ban on affirmative action, a cattle rancher battles the federal government, and author George Saunders discusses "Congratulations, by the Way."

A GOP candidate changes his name in order to win Hispanic votes, Vincent van Gogh's ear finds new life at an art museum, and Esther Perel talks "Mating in Captivity."

Dick Cheney slams Obama over Iraq, Doritos unveils experimental flavors, an app reduces all messages to "yo," and Jay Carney chats about being White House press secretary.

An Internet bug causes panic, Andrew Sullivan weighs in on Brendan Eich's resignation from Mozilla, Obama pushes for equal pay, and Sheryl Sandberg talks "Lean In."

Stephen honors the Lehman Brothers, pundits criticize government "moochers," Miss America receives racist comments, and Andrew Bacevich shares his book, "Breach of Trust.

Stephen dresses up as Prince Hawkcat at Comic-Con, California school districts receive armored military vehicles, and Viggo Mortensen chats about "The Two Faces of January."

Colin Small trashes voter registrations, CEOs threaten personnel over the election, Andrew Cuomo seeks to decriminalize pot, and Donald Sadoway shares his battery brainchild.

Rick Santorum errs at a conservative summit, Mitt Romney misconstrues Obama's handling of Libya, Ira Glass calls the Atone Phone, and Drew Faust reviews Civil War history.

Critics blast Obama as ISIS advances in Syria, a company provides a convenient way to inhale alcohol, and street artist JR shares his award-winning work.

Jeb Bush defends illegal immigrants, Alaska outlaws drone-assisted hunting, a GOP candidate speaks at a cockfighting rally, and Edward Frenkel talks "Love and Math."

Billionaires get left behind, Kanye West performs for Kazakhstan's controversial leader, Cheerios cashes in on death, and Arne Duncan endorses early education.

Female hurricanes cause more deaths than male ones, Sherman Alexie discusses the Amazon-Hachette feud, The Report educates the public, and Jonah Hill talks "22 Jump Street."

A chemical spill threatens West Virginia's water supply, Obama's Iraq policy comes under fire, a company provides retroactive advertising, and David Fanning talks Frontline.

Congress's productivity hits a record low, the rich get a floating tax shelter, Common Core threatens cursive, and Bryan Stevenson argues for an equitable justice system.

Ovulation cycles sway female voting, Tom Hanks concocts neutral Halloween costumes, and Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels talks about his book, "Keeping the Republic.

Rafalca finishes one round of Olympic dressage, Russ Carnahan touts Missouri's redistricted district, plants talk to each other, and Chris Hayes describesbe U.S. elitism.

Mitt Romney flips the "war on women" script with the help of Hilary Rosen, survivalist singles embrace online dating, and director James Cameron talks "Titanic 3D."

Stephen wonders if the world ended and lies about reading James Stewart's book.

Orlando Bloom throws a punch at Justin Bieber, Allan Sloan discusses corporate tax dodgers, nudity becomes a big hit on reality TV, and James Franco talks "Child of God."

Rick Perry faces criticism over his fashion choices, Joe Quesada discusses Captain America's replacement, and Bill de Blasio weighs in on the challenges facing New Yorkers.

Senate Democrats go nuclear, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin blocks same-sex benefits, Stephen invites himself to Thanksgiving dinner, and J.J. Abrams discusses his novel, "S".

A Florida jury acquits George Zimmerman, Stephen inspects a SkyMiles scandal, Asiana Airlines sues KTVU over made-up pilot names, and Jeremy Scahill criticizes drone strikes.

The Navy builds a laser missile, Senate Republicans give in to gun control, Anthony Weiner ponders the mayoral race, and VICE cofounder Shane Smith talks storytelling.

A squirrel votes for Mitt Romney, a farmer puts candy in cow feed, Stephen reports on the world's only Corn Palace, and The Killers discuss their clean-cut reputation.

Officials delay Egypt's presidential election, penguins engage in erotic sex, Stephen sings to Sweden's Twitter executives, and Lawrence Krauss discusses the universe.

Huffington Post asks parents if their kid is Hitler, critics fume over military budget cuts, a lobby fights for paper, and St. Vincent performs "Digital Witness."

Stephen plugs cOlbert's Book Club, conspiracy theorists explain the government's ammo purchases, dogs ride the Mary Jane train, and Robert Caro scares Republicans.

Scandal engulfs Chris Christie, the media explains the concept of cold weather, and Ishmael Beah talks being a child soldier and his book, "Radiance of Tomorrow".

The Ebola virus arrives in New York City, Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert argues against gays in the military, and Meredith Vieira discusses "The Meredith Vieira Show."

Papa Bear reassess gay marriage, scientists study Facebook "Likes," Tennessee lawmakers mistrust a mop sink, and Carl Edgar Blake II shows off his pigs.

"America Again" defeats Papa Bear's bestseller, Jeff Bingaman gives Stephen a Senate how-to, Fox News attacks the 9/11 site mosque, and Mandy Patinkin talks national security.

Edward Snowden seeks asylum in Russia, San Diego's mayor faces sexual harassment charges, Eliot Spitzer runs for NYC comptroller, and Jeff Bridges shares his film, "R.I.P.D.

Jeb Bush eyes a presidential run, Jason Bordoff discusses OPEC's oil price war, Stephen lets a sponsor rebrand The Report, and Kendrick Lamar debuts an untitled track.

Chris Christie's bridge scandal deepens, Robert Gates's "Duty" has harsh words for Obama, and Jeff Skoll discusses his film company, Participant Media.

Hobbit Week honors Denny's, the Senate votes down universal disability rights, and Andy Serkis compares "The Lord of the Rings" Gollum to "The Hobbit" Gollum.

Stephen commemorates the 40th anniversary of President Nixon's resignation, Pat Buchanan discusses "The Greatest Comeback," and John W. Dean talks "The Nixon Defense."

CNN's doctor switches his position on pot, Matt Damon comes to Stephen's rescue, Darrell Issa wants ocean waters named after Reagan, and Colum McCann talks "TransAtlantic.

Senator Lori Klein defends Herman Cain, Bret Baier grills Mitt Romney, and Richard Branson explains why he wants to screw business as usual.

Jeff Tweedy calls the Atone Phone hotline, President Obama comes under fire for saluting with a coffee cup, and Bill Cosby sits down with Stephen.

Tea Party challenger David Brat defeats Eric Cantor, debtors' prison makes a comeback in the U.S., and Rob Rhinehart discusses his food substitute, Soylent.