John and Ted create a fake newspaper to keep Matty from learning about the O.J. Simpson verdict.

John, Ted and Blaire must complete a drug dealer's Dungeons & Dragons campaign to score weed.

John and Ted audition for the school play; Matty and Susan get part-time jobs at Dunkin' Donuts.

As the end of the school year approaches, Ted plots to help John lose his virginity after John learns he is the last virgin in school.

Susan takes the fall for John and Ted when a police officer finds their weed during a traffic stop.

Matty's unorthodox Christmas wish is granted, completely upending the Bennett family dynamic. A trip to church gets John and Ted wondering about Ted's miraculous origin.

John and Ted use the school's phone to call a phone-sex hotline, leading to an investigation.

When Matty makes Ted go to school with John, Ted immediately decides to get expelled.

Ted and John's plan to exact revenge on the school bully inadvertently puts them in a parental role. Matty agrees to get a colonoscopy… on one condition.

Blaire's rom-com movie marathon annoys Matty; Ted and John double date with their elderly neighbor.