Paul Calf is a jobless Manchester City fan, whose main job in life is to get drunk, get off with as many girls as possible, and to fight the local "poncy students."

Gareth Cheeseman's mind is a bomb, nothing can stand in his way. In the coporate jungle he is - truly - a tiger. With only three days of the Microsell '95 conference to clinch the deal that will elevate him to the Diamond club of supersalesman, hard-selling Gareth will do anything - truly - to pull the big one.... Believe it.

It's the 1960s and whether it be a slow-running clock, a broken church-door, or even a steel-coated anchorpin, local Ottle handyman Ernest Moss can fix it and have it running "tickety-boo" in no time. He and his faithful sidekick Robin run a simple handyman service for the people of Ottle. But Ernest is a tad concerned when slimy property developer Francis Burgoyne and his sultry partner Valerie come to town, offering to develop Ottle into a new, state-of-the-art housing community. Ernest is not afraid of the future, and is well aware that by 1980 everyone will have their own personal hovercraft, but he doesn't trust Burgoyne one bit. However Ernest is having his own problems, as everything he puts back together lately seems to be falling apart. Is Ernest really learning his marbles or is there more to Burgoyne's houses of the future than meets the eye?

Mike Crystal is an all-round performer at a cabaret club. He wants his own night, but his boss won't give it to him. In order to get a better slot, he invents an alter-ego- tough Cockney agent Clint Stallone. He gets himself in a mes, however when the boss sends someone to get photographs of Clint doing something incriminating. He is photographed with his own girlfriend, but dressed as Clint. Mike is informed off this and he stupidly arranges a fight to take place at the office of said boss. He shouts at himself and smashes a window, claiming that Clint ran off. Mike gets a job releasing a new record by the Wurzels, who are at a ceremony presented by Mike. He pre-recorded a tape of Clint, claiming that he was dying of cancer.

The mad trivia obsessed Crump brothers, Stuart and Guy went to a remand centre in 1975 after losing a childrens quiz show, which compelled them to burn the TV studio down, killing one of the twin siters who won the quiz show. Twenty years later, they kidnapped their therapist while he was suffering from piles and escaped from jail. They then got the surviving sister from the quiz show, Cathy Briggs who is a policewoman and threatened to detonate a bomb unless they could reconstruct the quiz show on live TV from a multi-storey car park which is where the studios once stood. They drove to the house of the quiz show host, Jeremy Monkhead only to find out that he had undergone a sex change operation and was now Jenny Monkhead [so to speak.] The show was re-staged successfully and it ended with Guy contemplating a life with Cathy.

Tim Fleck is the proud owner of Little Ottle museum, a small establishment that holds pistols that may or may not have belong to dreading highwayman Dick Turpin and boasting not one, but three medieval wool groomers. But when his mother dies, Little Ottle museum is in danger of being turned into a steakhouse. That is, unless, Tim can somehow resurrect the long-dead Dick "Stand and Deliver" Turpin to save the day.