When their customers opt to go to a competing bar down the block, Malcolm decides to turn McGee's into a gambling establishment and save himself from bankruptcy.

Nicolette enlists Malcolm and Eddie to help her shy beau find the words to propose. So the guys devise a plan to help Stanley gain some confidence by encouraging him to become a lady's man. As his confidence grows, the plan begins to backfire, with disastrous results for Nicollette.

Malcolm suggests Eddie settle his differences with an ex-con in the boxing ring.

It comes as a shock to Malcolm and Eddie when they learn that their old pal, Nelson Carter, is getting married. After all, there was a better chance for the Pope to get married before Nelson ever decided to settle down. But on the day of Nelson's wedding—and after a wild night at his bachelor party—the two begin considering settling down themselves.

Malcolm and Eddie each meet the girl of their dreams. Malcolm's girl is sweet & demure and likes to cook for him. Eddie's girl is a ""straight-up hood-rat"" that likes to drink 40 ounce bottles of beer. The men eventually find out that their dream girls are one and the same, as she is someone who takes the concept of ""I'm Every Woman"" to the extreme.

The guys discover that baby-sitting Eddie's infant cousin draws women, but then they panic when they realize that the baby is missing.

Eddie's uncle (Richard Pryor) teaches Malcolm to win at pool.

Malcolm & Eddie's business is booming at the club, so they decide to expand the club to increase business even further. However the building owner jas just recently rented out the empty space next door, and now the new tenant, who is opening a dance studio, will have to move in order for the guys to expand the club.

Everybody thinks Eddie's pal Rusty is crazy. During his career as a NASCAR driver, Rusty had one too many racing accidents that have left him short of a few lug nuts. His presence at Eddie's garage and Malcolm's bar has been good for business, though. However, Nicolette discovers that Rusty is really an alias and that he's a lot crazier than anybody originally thought....

Holly passes Malcolm off as her boyfriend when her parents come for a visit. But all goes awry when Malcolm is caught in a compromising situation. Eddie seems oddly attracted to a psycho chick. And Tim meets Danielle for the first time, and its love at first sight.

Nicolette stays with Malcolm & Eddie while her place is being painted and her quirks & habits drive the guys crazy.

A man trying to bring a fake lawsuit against the bar, inadvertently dies, just as the guys get a visit from the city's toughest health inspector.

Nicolette wants to make her relationship with Eddie a public one, while Eddie continues to want them to meet in secret. Nicolette is asked to the policemen's ball by another man, and feeling rejected by Eddie, she decides to go. Eddie gets jealous and tries to stand up for his woman, but he falls far short. Malcolm unwittingly buys stolen lobsters for the club's catering of the policemen's ball, and Simone does a fantastic job of making them a hit.

After Malcolm and Eddie each make suggestions to the other about ways to improve each other's business, they decide to make a bet, which leads the guys to switch places and run each other's business for a week.

A wealthy tycoon challenges Eddie to a high-stakes game of golf.

Malcolm inadvertently places a large bet on Eddie when he competes in a NASCAR race. Nicollette fears a dream she had about Eddie might come true.

Non-church-goers Malcolm and Eddie accidentally volunteer to teach Sunday school while visiting at Nicolette's church and find that they have a knack for public speaking.

Malcolm's dream to renovate McGee's into 1930s jazz club is in full swing when he discovers that the contractor he hired to build his bar turns out to be an old Navy buddy of Eddie's. Since he and Eddie did not get along in the Navy, the contractor leaves the job until Eddie gives him an apology, leaving Malcolm without a bar.

Malcolm acts as chef Simone's husband to fool her high-school nemesis.

Eddie subs as coach of a peewee basketball team in order to show up a rival, and Malcolm worries that his trash-talk tactics will leave the team in the dumper.

Malcolm, his gay sister, and Eddie compete for the attentions of a new waitress.

An unlikely romance blossoms between the guys and their girls, during an employee camping retreat in the woods. After being stranded in the woods overnight, Nicolette finally gets Eddie to surrender to her ample womanly charms. Meanwhile, Holly shares bodily warmth with Malcolm, and learns a new respect for him.

As Malcolm prepares for Halloween, fearful Eddie tells a story of a devastating family curse.

When Hawkins dies suddenly of a heart attack, his daughter Ashley is surprised to learn that she can only inherit his 10 million dollars is on one condition—that she marry Eddie within 30 days. But Eddie soon discovers that saying ""I do"" to wealth and marriage may devastate Malcolm, who has taken drastic measures to try and forget about the feelings he still has for Ashley.

When Eddie's cousin Dexter decides to get married, he asks Eddie to be his best man and Malcolm to be his ""man of honor."" But Dexter's promise to his fiancée that they'll be no strippers at the bachelor party is broken when an unaware Malcolm hires a sexy stripper, and then has to bring the two lovebirds back together when the wedding is called off.

Nicolette's desire for a meaningful relationship inspires her to try celibacy, and inspires the others to a challenge to see who can abstain from giving in to their sexual desires the longest. As the gang slowly gives in to the temptation one by one, everyone is surprised at who the final winner is.

The duo agrees to listen to a realty sales pitch in order to get a free seven-day cruise.

The guys deal with a new rival for their business, a beautiful buxom woman who opens a dance club down the street from the Fifty-Fifty Club, by holding a bogus contest to attract new customers. The trouble comes when the guys decide to fight fire with fire, and rig a bogus contest of their own, but with disastrous results.

For Malcolm's thirtieth birthday, Eddie surprises him with a chance to watch an upcoming baseball game from the sportscaster's booth. But the biggest surprise comes when Eddie creates a clever diversion allowing Malcolm to fulfill his lifelong career fantasy and serve as commentator for the game, with disastrous results.

The club puts on a 70's promotion and everybody dresses up in 70's attire, and grooves to the funk. Eddie gets into the spirit of the 70's, so much so that he remains there even after the promotion is over. When Nicolette arranges for him to get a city contract fixing parking scooters, Eddie's priorities become confused, & business & friendships begins to suffer. Eddie finally admits he's a Funk-aholic.

Eddie agrees to buy Malcolm's lottery ticket and has to face the consequences—again and again and again—when the numbers hit.

When the guys decide to film a TV commerical for the bar, to attract new customers, they are inadvertently a big success...as a gay bar. Finally, the guys decide to dress the part.

While Malcolm is away with Lydia, Malcolm leaves Eddie in charge of running the bar for a day. Eddie gets the idea that he should transform the bar into an exotic dance club, but doesn't count on the law being there and wanting to shut down the club.

The guys may become family when Eddie's mother starts dating Malcolm's father.

Simone tries to win Malcolm's heart through his stomach with some special chocolate cookies, but once Malcolm tastes them, he only wants to use them to go into the cookie business with. Meanwhile, McGinley tries to lure Simone away from Malcolm, to work in his bar.

Hoping to duplicate the incredible success of the movie ""The Blair Witch Project,"" Malcolm recruits Nicolette, Leonard, Doug and a very reluctant Eddie to help him make a similar film about a local Kansas City legend, the Tapawingo Witch. But after they head deep into the woods to film the documentary, a series of frightening events spook the novice filmmakers, blurring the line between fantasy and reality.

Malcolm tries to settle his grandparents' quarrel after Malcolm's grandfather gets kicked out of the house and moves in with Malcolm & Eddie. Nicolette gets a new roommate named Regina, who has eyes for Eddie, but Nicolette remains determined continue persuing him.

Malcolm, Eddie, Nicolette, Leonard and Doug head to North Carolina to spend the holiday with Malcolm's Uncle Buddy. But panic sets in when they reach his uncle's empty house and discover the town has been evacuated because of an oncoming hurricane, and now they're caught right in the middle of it.

Malcolm practices for his sports commentator audition at the local radio station, earnestly recording play-by-play onto a demonstration tape while watching the basketball game... until Eddie accidentally blows up the television set. Insistent on helping his roommate replace it, Eddie wheedles Malcolm into attending a free ""personal wealth seminar"" where each participant is promised either a free TV or a set of steak knives.

After Leonard's date publicly humiliates him at the Fifty/Fifty Club, Malcolm and Nicolette try to cheer him up by sharing their ""worst date"" stories. But nothing can top Eddie's date that night when he's lured by a woman named ""Sinful Sally"" to her apartment, unaware that she plans to broadcast their rendezvous live over the Internet.

Malcolm uses tough love on his sister who gets fired and dumped in the same week.

A contractor (Coolio) consults Malcolm and Eddie about building a club in Chicago.

As the profits from the 50/50 club begin to grow larger and larger, Malcolm and Eddie clash over whose money-making strategy is best. Malcolm believes in investing his money in the stock market, while Eddie believes in betting on horse races.

Eddie takes karate lessons from a kung fu master to prepare for a duel.

Aspiring sportscaster Malcom finally gets a chance to be on the air at the radio station but instead of calling the plays, he's given a dee-jay's graveyard shift. Surprisingly, Eddie ends up as the only one who can get his exhausted roommate through the long nights.

After discovering that Eddie spent all his money on electronic gadgets and has no money left to reinvest in their new business venture, Malcolm and Eddie join forces to find a way to re-open Malcolm's former bar as the new Fifty/Fifty club.

When Eddie's beloved tow truck Broncula breaks down, he must raise money to repair ""her,"" so he secures a wild array of odd jobs which quickly wear away at Malcolm's quality of life.

Friends guide feuding Malcolm and Eddie down memory lane.

Things are going so well for Malcolm and Eddie with their new girlfriends that Malcolm invites Helena to move in with him, and Eddie tries to double his fun by moving in with the twins that he's dating. But the romance quickly fades when Malcolm realizes what a slob Helena is, and the twins drive Eddie nuts fighting for his attention.

Malcolm's plan for rededicating his bar from its old name Kelly's, to its new name McGee's, goes amiss when the signs are misspelled, McGoo's. Meanwhile a crazed, bomb-toting football fan takes over Malcolm's crowded bar to protest the rumored move by the Kansas City Chiefs to Los Angeles, and the bar gets city-wide news coverage under the name McGoo's instead of McGee's.

Business partners Malcolm and Eddie open a jazz club with Malcolm's money. And after Malcolm throws it up in Eddie's face and wants to make all the decisions, Eddie looks for ways to raise his share of the money.

Malcolm and Eddie are thrilled when the Kansas City Chief's star running back visits the Fifty/Fifty Club and gives them free tickets to his next game. But after Eddie accidentally gives the famed football player a concussion that costs the Chiefs the game, Malcolm and Eddie become Public Enemies number one and two.

Malcolm's life changes after meeting a spiritual counselor, falls in love with her, and decides to sell his bar. His wedding plans dissolve after she decides she's really in love with someone else. Meanwhile, Eddie decides to take an executive job in Pittsburgh.

Ashley catches Malcolm kissing Olivia. After their breakup, Malcolm goes into a funk and Eddie goes to extraordinary lengths (and heights) to pull him out of it. Eddie tries taking Malcolm on a hot-air balloon ride.