Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Episode Rating Graph

Five months after Jonny and Janet got married, Donna and Gaz are still not talking. Donna has moved up in the bucket world, and is on a mission to sell 4,000 buckets in 5 days. While out, she finds out Gaz, who she has not seen for 5 months, has gained weight since they last saw each other. In attempts to get Donna back, Gaz finds an interesting way to loose weight. Meanwhile, Janet fears that her nesting instinct will never kick in, however Louise and a group of ""chavettes"" help her come to her senses...

After all the arguments, Donna is living with Jonny, while Janet is living with Gaz, but nobody really knows where anybody is! Donna suggests that Jonny should go to Andy's to ask where Janet is, but as much as he tries to hide it, it's clear he is too scared, but not scared enough to steal an engagement ring off him and offer it to Janet!

In the last episode, Jonny was hoping to get the job at the biscuit factory and Gaz and Donna were hoping to get a house in the country side. Meanwhile Janet got offered a job on a cruise ship singing. There are high sprits going on in group as their all starting new lives. Unfortunately Jonny didn't get the job, there were sheep everywhere around Gaz and Donna's new house. And also Janet didn't know wether to take the job or not because she would have to leave the next day.

The pitter patter of tiny feet may be just around the corner for Janet and Jonny. Janet turns to Donna and Louise for advice. Louise is her usual tactless self in her reaction, ‘Excellent, I have a single mum friend to show off to my friends at University' while Donna heads to the chemist to buy Janet a pregnancy test. But Janet can't muster up a sample so Donna turns to Flo for hints on possible pregnancy symptoms which, according to Flo, include hot flushes and a passion for Guinness. Jonny has not taken the news about possible fatherhood too well, but several beers down the pub and a talking-to from Louise later he decides that parenthood is perfect for him. When Janet finally has the results from her pregnancy test—Is she or isn't she? And just why is Donna taking such an interest in the whole matter—is there something she needs to tell Gaz?

Louise is furious when she finds out that Donna once slept with David, but Donna's still the one who does the fighting! Janet decides that she and Jonny will have to get married without her parents permission, and Gaz has had enough of Munch!

Gaz is not keen on moving south with Donna, and has fallen in love with Janet; Donna has met a new man called Wesley in London and wants to move on from Gaz. However, Gaz lets slip that he and Janet are in love, and Donna throws beer over them but eventually realises that Janet and Gaz belong together, because they are "scum"- but in a nice way. Meanwhile Louise is about to give birth, aided only by Munch, and produces (in The Archer) a beautiful girl whom she names "Louise Louise Brooks", although she tells Munch the name is "Louise Munch Brooks". Gaz and Donna part on ostensibly good terms, and the episode closes with flashbacks of moments throughout the series, to the background of Avril Lavigne's "When You’re Gone".

Gaz has a problem, his penis, or ""Mr Nudge"" as he calls it, isn't working properly, he's tried everything, from fantasies about Fern Britton to wearing a cock ring! Jonny is struggling with single life, he's got no money to buy a pint! Janet wants him to come home, but he can't, he has his pride! Louise gets carried away in her job at the bakery and sacks everyone, but then finds she's been sacked herself! Jonny is still resisting Janet's pleas to make him come home, until he see's what she's wearing...

Donna is looking forward beginning to her new job. Gaz jazzes up his wheelchair and decides that he wants to take part in the Paralympics. Tim begins to wonder what direction his life is going in following his big revelation. Gaz is able to get Billy to ask Cassie out on a date.

In the last episode Gaz just got ran over by the ambulance which was going to Janets house. While Janet is in labour, she can't find Jonny! Jonny then sees Gaz being put in the ambulance, and when Jonny sees Gaz, Gaz tells him to look after the baby as if it was his! Jonny is stunned to find out that Gaz is the father. Meanwhile Louise has to bring Janet to the hospital and Jonny meets Janet there. First he hated the baby and Janet, but after spending some time with them he changes his mind. And at the end Gaz and Donna finally got back together.

After a bit of thought and advice from her mum, and Janet, Donna decides that she should try something new with Gaz, but she doesn't realise he's gonna bring Munch home with him! Jonny realises he'll have to ask Janet's dad's permission to marry Janet, and David and Louise don't get off to a very good start in their relationship.

Janet has a new boss at the bakery, that turns out to be Louise! But she has a rather different way of doing things! Donna wants Gaz to split Jonny and Kate up, but tells him not to sleep with her, but he ignores this, takes her out on a date, but Donna finds out and stops him from sleeping with her! Kate, however, is furious that Gaz tried to come on to her, and tells Jonny to choose between her or his friends, but its an easy choice for Jonny, and he dumps her!

Janet re-discovers a love letter from her gorgeous ex and resorts to deception to prevent Jonny becoming jealous. Flo asks Donna to move out so she can set up a massage parlour in her old room. And, unable to decide how to handle her boyfriend, Louise experiments with gay sex.

Jonny and Kate can't get any privacy to have sex, so Gaz lets them use the flat, which is all very well, until Donna gets home! Louise decides she needs to get a job after she graduates, but unfortunately discovers a sociology degree won't get her a much better job than working in Pizza Hut! Gaz is upset that Donna has been neglecting him, but Janet is around to comfort him, but unfortunately things get a little bit out of control...

Donna moves her toothbrush into Gaz's flat, and he reacts badly, thinking it's the first step to moving in completely. Meanwhile, Flo is encouraging Donna to move out of the family home. Louise is getting chatted up by Kev, who, from her description, the other two are convinced is gay - it turns out they are right, and Louise decides to make the best of things by becoming a ‘fag hag'. Janet tries various ways to improve her love life with Jonny, but just makes him suspicious, he thinks that she's been sleeping with a bloke named Pedro, who Gaz made up because he was too drunk to think straight.

With the Archer now closed, the gang head off down to break into the now dilapidated pub to see what beer is left over, undeterred by the headlines of 'The Curse of the Archer'. This spoof horror episode sees all kinds of gory goings-on as the gang are trapped in the Archer, unable to escape until sunrise.

Billy thinks that his sex life with Cassie is affecting his football skills and he attempts to cool things with her. Cassie is determined not to loose him though. Gaz is determined to walk again and gets Donna, Billy and Tim to help get him up and out of his wheelchair.

Janet is on the point of losing her job as bar manager of the Archer and Jonny is accused of having homosexual-tendencies. Donna's dad is on the phone and Gaz invites Donna's 16 year old brother over to stay (not a good idea).

After telling Donna that it is her that he wants to be with, Gaz has sliped into a coma. After praying to God, begging him to let Gaz recover, Donna imagines two parallel lives with Gaz, one where he makes a full recovery and another where he is paralyzed.

Following the fire, Donna and Gaz find themselves being forced to move into Janet's old place. Donna ends up embracing the fact that she is now possession-free while Gaz plans a big night out. Billy makes plans to make sure that his football career gets off the ground. After he ends up going out with Gaz though things go wrong. Cassie attempts to blackmail Tim into getting her a motorbike

Jonny isn't feeling very well so it's up to Gaz to look after him as Janet has better things to do! Gaz goes to look for Janet and catches her snogging her ex boyfriend! Louise was there, and she saw it all, and, unfortunately for Janet, you can't trust Louise with your secrets!

Gaz tries to change the born-again Christian Munch, back to his old self, by tempting him with alcohol. Meanwhile, Louise is disappointed to learn she's having a girl while Janet picks 'dead Jonny' as a theme for Donna and Gaz's wedding.

Janet tells Jonny he has to move out of the house, he now has nowhere to go! Until he meets Kate, the barmaid in the pub, and they get very close! Gaz is still not happy with Donna's plans to become a student, so he challenges David to a drinking contest! But Donna is more interested in Louise's book, which brings the girls to tears! So much so, Janet realises she made a big mistake dumping Jonny, and goes to get him back, only to find him and Kate sharing a kiss!

Donna has recieved some exciting news, her Mother left her house in her will. But Gaz isn't best pleased, as he believes Flo still haunts the cupboard under the stairs. Louise goes to see a psychaitrist for messing with Jonny's record, turns out she was trying to save him from finding out Gaz and Janet had slept with each other. But will she tell Jonny? Speaking of which, Jonny has a very important question for Janet...

Gaz is furious with Donna after he suspects her of cheating on him with David, and even though he forgives her, it makes him none the more happier to discover she wants to go to University with him! Louise tricks David into getting back with her, and then dumps him!! And Jonny finally comes to terms with Janet leaving him!

Louise is threatening to tell Donna and Jonny about when Janet and Gaz...y'know, did it. This come at the worst possible time for Janet as Jonny has just proposed to her again, but nobody bothers to take an interest. Donna's had her Mum's house valued at £99,000 and plans a hiking trip to Ecuador, Wales with Gaz. Janet has news of her own, she's pregnant. Jonny is delighted, but Gaz has just accidentally revealed his secret to Donna...

Billy's metrosexual behaviour continues to baffle Gaz, who finally cracks and throws him out. Donna faces up to the responsibility of being a breadwinner and visits the job centre, but seeing her old school rival leaves her feeling inadequate. Meanwhile, Tim tries to give Cassie a makeover.

Janet is still getting over losing Jonny, and Louise wants to move in with her, but a nasty spider gets in the way! Jonny tries to be manly to impress Kate on their first date, but ends up falling off a wall and breaking his foot! Its Gaz's big night, and all his friends have deserted him! Even Donna, who would rather go and watch a play than see him sing! But he has a wild night in The Archer performing Tom Jones songs, but to a very small crowd!