Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Episode Rating Graph

It's the day of Jonny's and Janet wedding, and they're nowhere to be found! Gaz and Donna rush off looking for them. Gaz thinks he left Jonny tied to a lamppost, but the barmaid took him down. Jonny and Janet are stuck in a Tesco's van. They wake up in their wedding outfits, and have no idea why they're there. Meanwhile Gaz and Donna pretend to be Jonny and Janet, so they still can get married. Luckily, the Tesco van ends up at their wedding, and Janet and Jonny finally get married.

After all the arguments, Donna is living with Jonny, while Janet is living with Gaz, but nobody really knows where anybody is! Donna suggests that Jonny should go to Andy's to ask where Janet is, but as much as he tries to hide it, it's clear he is too scared, but not scared enough to steal an engagement ring off him and offer it to Janet!

After Janet is mugged she decides to try and become a Police Community Support Officer. Wesley seeks Gaz's help in winning Donna back after he shows up in Runcorn.

Donna and Gaz remember the past that they have shared after agreeing to get a divorce. At the end of the day they wonder if the have made the right decision.

In Runcorn there are two nearby pubs: the Mayhew where friends Janet, Donna, & Louise drink; and the Archer, where friends Jonny & Gaz drink. When Donna mentions to Janet that she's looking for a boyfriend, Janet gets her boyfriend Jonny to persuade Gaz to go on a blind date. Despite the misgivings of Donna and her mother Flo, the date in the Mayhew goes well, even after the attentions of Louise who has got a job there as a barmaid, and Jonny, who tries to put a spoke in the wheel of what he sees as a future of joint couple dates. Donna accompanies Gaz back to his bedsit, but her passion is cooled on discovering what he has stacked in his cupboard.

In the last episode, Jonny was hoping to get the job at the biscuit factory and Gaz and Donna were hoping to get a house in the country side. Meanwhile Janet got offered a job on a cruise ship singing. There are high sprits going on in group as their all starting new lives. Unfortunately Jonny didn't get the job, there were sheep everywhere around Gaz and Donna's new house. And also Janet didn't know wether to take the job or not because she would have to leave the next day.

Five months after Jonny and Janet got married, Donna and Gaz are still not talking. Donna has moved up in the bucket world, and is on a mission to sell 4,000 buckets in 5 days. While out, she finds out Gaz, who she has not seen for 5 months, has gained weight since they last saw each other. In attempts to get Donna back, Gaz finds an interesting way to loose weight. Meanwhile, Janet fears that her nesting instinct will never kick in, however Louise and a group of ""chavettes"" help her come to her senses...

Donna and Janet try to get Gaz to make a decision about who he wants to be with and he ends up deciding to audition both of them. When Gaz finally decides who he wants he heads off to get his girl.

Janet tries to get passionate with Jonny, while Gaz wants Donna to go out so he can get passionate with himself.

Jonny bids for a chance at his dream job. Gaz and Donna find their dream house. Louise dates her mobile phone and finally gets herself an amazing boyfriend

Donna moves her toothbrush into Gaz's flat, and he reacts badly, thinking it's the first step to moving in completely. Meanwhile, Flo is encouraging Donna to move out of the family home. Louise is getting chatted up by Kev, who, from her description, the other two are convinced is gay - it turns out they are right, and Louise decides to make the best of things by becoming a ‘fag hag'. Janet tries various ways to improve her love life with Jonny, but just makes him suspicious, he thinks that she's been sleeping with a bloke named Pedro, who Gaz made up because he was too drunk to think straight.

Janet re-discovers a love letter from her gorgeous ex and resorts to deception to prevent Jonny becoming jealous. Flo asks Donna to move out so she can set up a massage parlour in her old room. And, unable to decide how to handle her boyfriend, Louise experiments with gay sex.

Gaz gives Munch lessons in handling women, Jonny shows Donna how to get what she wants for freem while Louise gets an annoying social conscience.

The pitter patter of tiny feet may be just around the corner for Janet and Jonny. Janet turns to Donna and Louise for advice. Louise is her usual tactless self in her reaction, ‘Excellent, I have a single mum friend to show off to my friends at University' while Donna heads to the chemist to buy Janet a pregnancy test. But Janet can't muster up a sample so Donna turns to Flo for hints on possible pregnancy symptoms which, according to Flo, include hot flushes and a passion for Guinness. Jonny has not taken the news about possible fatherhood too well, but several beers down the pub and a talking-to from Louise later he decides that parenthood is perfect for him. When Janet finally has the results from her pregnancy test—Is she or isn't she? And just why is Donna taking such an interest in the whole matter—is there something she needs to tell Gaz?

After a bit of thought and advice from her mum, and Janet, Donna decides that she should try something new with Gaz, but she doesn't realise he's gonna bring Munch home with him! Jonny realises he'll have to ask Janet's dad's permission to marry Janet, and David and Louise don't get off to a very good start in their relationship.

Donna is looking forward beginning to her new job. Gaz jazzes up his wheelchair and decides that he wants to take part in the Paralympics. Tim begins to wonder what direction his life is going in following his big revelation. Gaz is able to get Billy to ask Cassie out on a date.

It's the day of the funeral - and our Jonny is there in the wheelchair. He may have survived, but that meant the loss of another character - Donna's mother Flo. Jonny is famous after his shooting, and is determined to milk it for all he can. Meanwhile, Gaz's ""impotence"" problem has returned, if only he could get rid of it the way he did before. Louise spends the night in a cell for messing with Jonny's records.

Gaz has a problem, his penis, or ""Mr Nudge"" as he calls it, isn't working properly, he's tried everything, from fantasies about Fern Britton to wearing a cock ring! Jonny is struggling with single life, he's got no money to buy a pint! Janet wants him to come home, but he can't, he has his pride! Louise gets carried away in her job at the bakery and sacks everyone, but then finds she's been sacked herself! Jonny is still resisting Janet's pleas to make him come home, until he see's what she's wearing...

Gaz decides to ask Janet to become his wife following his divorce. Donna decides to help him. After Janet collapses she is taken to the hospital but nobody can hold of Gaz.

Janet has a new boss at the bakery, that turns out to be Louise! But she has a rather different way of doing things! Donna wants Gaz to split Jonny and Kate up, but tells him not to sleep with her, but he ignores this, takes her out on a date, but Donna finds out and stops him from sleeping with her! Kate, however, is furious that Gaz tried to come on to her, and tells Jonny to choose between her or his friends, but its an easy choice for Jonny, and he dumps her!

Gaz and Donna haven't had sex for a few days, and Donna gets a nasty shock when she comes home and see's what Gaz has done to himself! Jonny wants Janet to quit smoking to save a bit of money for their wedding, but Janet finds it hard. Louise finds she has a secret admirer.

Jonny and Kate can't get any privacy to have sex, so Gaz lets them use the flat, which is all very well, until Donna gets home! Louise decides she needs to get a job after she graduates, but unfortunately discovers a sociology degree won't get her a much better job than working in Pizza Hut! Gaz is upset that Donna has been neglecting him, but Janet is around to comfort him, but unfortunately things get a little bit out of control...

Louise is furious when she finds out that Donna once slept with David, but Donna's still the one who does the fighting! Janet decides that she and Jonny will have to get married without her parents permission, and Gaz has had enough of Munch!

Janet tries to find a quick way to recover from her grief, following the death of her husband Jonny, so Gaz offers his help.

With the Archer now closed, the gang head off down to break into the now dilapidated pub to see what beer is left over, undeterred by the headlines of 'The Curse of the Archer'. This spoof horror episode sees all kinds of gory goings-on as the gang are trapped in the Archer, unable to escape until sunrise.

Due to a rainstorm stopping, Louise begins to think she is God. Meanwhile, Johnny tries to teach Corinthian about biscuits and how to be a man, and Janet thinks about a Christening.

Gaz's father closes down the garage leaving Gaz unemployed.

Jonny starts a farm and tries to grow his own crops to be self sufficient.

Gaz celebrates his 30th birthday but his festive mood is short-lived when he reflects on his life and feels melancholy about what little he has to show. Donna ends up facing a crisis of her own after she pays a visit to the doctor's and is left shocked by the news she is given. Tim is surprised when Leonard asks him out on a date.

Janet shows off at the pub quiz. Gaz spanks his monkey. And Donna tries to impress Gaz with a facelift.

After telling Donna that it is her that he wants to be with, Gaz has sliped into a coma. After praying to God, begging him to let Gaz recover, Donna imagines two parallel lives with Gaz, one where he makes a full recovery and another where he is paralyzed.

Gaz struggles to adjust to being in a wheelchair after returning home, and is confused by the behaviour of aspiring footballer Billy, who helped to care for him in hospital. Meanwhile, Tim's life is thrown into turmoil when his younger sister Cassie turns up on his doorstep.

Following the fire, Donna and Gaz find themselves being forced to move into Janet's old place. Donna ends up embracing the fact that she is now possession-free while Gaz plans a big night out. Billy makes plans to make sure that his football career gets off the ground. After he ends up going out with Gaz though things go wrong. Cassie attempts to blackmail Tim into getting her a motorbike

Billy thinks that his sex life with Cassie is affecting his football skills and he attempts to cool things with her. Cassie is determined not to loose him though. Gaz is determined to walk again and gets Donna, Billy and Tim to help get him up and out of his wheelchair.

Gaz tries to change the born-again Christian Munch, back to his old self, by tempting him with alcohol. Meanwhile, Louise is disappointed to learn she's having a girl while Janet picks 'dead Jonny' as a theme for Donna and Gaz's wedding.

Janet starts her new job at the Archers and soon thinks of a way to entice more elderly customers into the archers meanwhile Jonny tries to help Gaz become a Dad.

Louise is threatening to tell Donna and Jonny about when Janet and Gaz...y'know, did it. This come at the worst possible time for Janet as Jonny has just proposed to her again, but nobody bothers to take an interest. Donna's had her Mum's house valued at £99,000 and plans a hiking trip to Ecuador, Wales with Gaz. Janet has news of her own, she's pregnant. Jonny is delighted, but Gaz has just accidentally revealed his secret to Donna...

Louise finally meets her real dad, but he seemed far more interested in Jonny.

Janet is on the point of losing her job as bar manager of the Archer and Jonny is accused of having homosexual-tendencies. Donna's dad is on the phone and Gaz invites Donna's 16 year old brother over to stay (not a good idea).

Donna has recieved some exciting news, her Mother left her house in her will. But Gaz isn't best pleased, as he believes Flo still haunts the cupboard under the stairs. Louise goes to see a psychaitrist for messing with Jonny's record, turns out she was trying to save him from finding out Gaz and Janet had slept with each other. But will she tell Jonny? Speaking of which, Jonny has a very important question for Janet...

Louise tries to arrange for Donna to be her birthing partner. Gaz and Janet's increasing attraction is disturbed by a sudden announcement from Donna.

Gaz's backside is a cause for concern, while Janet has second thoughts about Jonny.

Louise wants to move in with Janet, who isn't too keen on the idea, so Louise decides to try and convince her by holding a seance to contact Jonny's spirit.

Billy's metrosexual behaviour continues to baffle Gaz, who finally cracks and throws him out. Donna faces up to the responsibility of being a breadwinner and visits the job centre, but seeing her old school rival leaves her feeling inadequate. Meanwhile, Tim tries to give Cassie a makeover.

Janet tells Jonny he has to move out of the house, he now has nowhere to go! Until he meets Kate, the barmaid in the pub, and they get very close! Gaz is still not happy with Donna's plans to become a student, so he challenges David to a drinking contest! But Donna is more interested in Louise's book, which brings the girls to tears! So much so, Janet realises she made a big mistake dumping Jonny, and goes to get him back, only to find him and Kate sharing a kiss!

Jonny isn't feeling very well so it's up to Gaz to look after him as Janet has better things to do! Gaz goes to look for Janet and catches her snogging her ex boyfriend! Louise was there, and she saw it all, and, unfortunately for Janet, you can't trust Louise with your secrets!