Weasel has created a machine giving dreams to the dreamless.

Chicken rushes through breakfast, and accidentally eats a box full of coffee flakes. He then goes crazy and has trouble getting to sleep. On his third night of no sleep, Chicken then runs up the Empire State Building. Super Cow shoots him with warm milk, and Chicken finally falls asleep.

Cow and Chicken are sent to the copy room to make copies of the pop quiz. They then get carried away by making copies of their butts, and themselves: causing the copier to blow up. Cow and Chicken run down to the local officer supply store, while The Red Guy brings a copy of Chicken to life. The Chicken copy then causes chaos all over school, while Cow and the real Chicken try to destroy it.

Cow and Chicken mess with a Junior Chemistry Set, and created perpetual energy, a beam of energy that keeps on going forever. The Red Guy kidnaps Cow and Chicken to recreate the energy, so he can win a trip to up North without having to sell Military Scout Cookies.

Teacher is disappointed when the school's plastic surgery team has no championships, so she calls in The Red Guy, to be the new plastic surgery coach. Chicken and Cow immediately join the team, and are taken to the finals, where they must compete against real doctors, who are still in grade school.

Cow and Chicken decide to get on Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots; so they glue each other to their heads, and send the tape in. They then meet the host of the show, The Red Guy (who portrays Lance Sackless). After Cow and Chicken win the grandprize, The Red Guy trashes them with insults about how stupid they look, so Super Cow takes out The Red Guy.

Weasel and I.R. try some ice fishing in the artic.

Now retired and living in asylums, Weasel and I.R. recall the days when they were young.

A group of female bikers break into Cow and Chicken's house, and start gnawing on their carpet. One of the bikers has a crush on Cow, and invites her to join the Buffalo Gals. It's up to Chicken to save his sister.

Mom and Dad take Cow and Chicken on a vacation to Oregon to see some real headhunters.

The Red Guy sneaks a crow egg under Chicken's covers while he sleeps. The next morning, Cow and Chicken find the egg, and Chicken comes to the conclusion that he is actually a girl. So, it's egg sitting for Cow and Chicken, until the egg hatches and a baby crow comes out. Now Chicken comes to the conclusion that he isn't even a chicken.

Cow, Chicken, Mom, and Dad go on a safari in Africa, where they run out of gas. Cow and Chicken then find themselves at the mercy of laughing hyenas, and man-eating giraffes. Super Cow comes to the rescue, only to find that she has actually been defeated by the Grizzly Beaver, who has eaten the giraffe, who has eaten Chicken.

Chicken holds a yard sale, but when one of the price tags accidentally falls off the table and onto the yard, The Red Guy literally buys the yard. Mom and Dad expect Chicken to get the yard back, in which he does by having Cow play a game of one-shot battleship with The Red Guy.

Boneless Chicken teaches Cow and Chicken how to properly fly kites at Lava Park. When Cow's kite tangles with The Red Guy's Kite, he then uses Boneless as his new kite, and has a kite tug-of-war against the tribe, over the hot-boiling-molten-lava river. Cow and Chicken come to Boneless's rescue, and the tribe wins, while Red Guy takes a dip in the lava river.

Cow learns that she has a herding instinct, and soon starts to fit in with other crowds such as flocks of ducks, schools of fish, and the military. She soon learns that she is supposed to herd with other cows, so she does, but soon dislikes it when all the other cows do nothing but stand and eat grass.

After Chicken's beak is bruised by Dick, his school bully, Mom and Dad send him to karate lessons. Chicken takes up butt-fu from The Red Guy, but when Chicken still is unable to beat up Dick, Chicken decides to force a refund (with help from an invisible Super Cow).

The Red Guy tells us a story about a small group of Baboon Fairies and how they all work together as presidents, with I.R. Baboon as their slave.

In ancient Egypt, Weasel and I.R. must save the queen from a huge group of snakes.

Cow and Chicken are taking a trip all by themselves. Their taking an airplane. Once Chicken sees the actual plain, he starts to have anxiety attacks and believes that flying is a dangerous way to travel.

On a field trip to the penitentiary, Chicken switches places with a hardened criminal named Red.

Dad is sick of his high-tech reecliner always malfunctioning, so he decides to dump it. Before he does, Cow and Chicken decide to see what it's like to sit in ""The Chair"". They, and they get stuck, and are taken away to museums, and in stolen vans, and finally back at home, where Dad waits for his ""new chair"".

Cow and Chicken have a big test the next day at school but when Chicken forgets to study, he tries to fake all kinds of illnesses to avoid going to school. After holding his thermometer over the grill, Mom and Dad call the doctor who makes housecalls: The Red Guy.

Mom and Dad decide to let Cow have a pet. She choose an anaconda, after it eats Chicken, and she hears his voice from inside the snake, and assumes the snake can sound just like Chicken. Cow names the anaconda, Fluffy, and Fluffy soon grows attached to Chicken, as its full-coarse dinner.

I.R. will do anything to get Weasel's role on his last movie.

Dad is pulled over by a cop, who discovers Cow and Chicken have crooked teeth and slaps braces on them.

At the mall, Cow gets noticed by a fashion photographer from Vague Magazine. Her bovine looks become the latest fad.

I.R. starts his own pig farm, covering the whole town with an awful stench.

Picking up where the last episode left off, the night the play begins, the cast and crew learn that Flem has been struck with chicken-pocks, so Chicken gets the role, while Cow is the new leading lady, since Wee Wee caught the pocks too. The play goes on, and all the weenies cast out the Ugliest Weenie, but soon learn that ugly is good, because it means that he won't get bar-b-qued, and eaten.

Cow writes a play called The Ugliest Weenie, -- a sad tale about an ugly, deformed weenie in a pack of otherwise beautiful weenies (hotdogs).

Chicken, Flem and Earl are fascinated by the girls' bathroom.

The Cow and Chicken`s teacher sings a ballad about Red Guy and Cow and Chicken.

Now Red Guy's Dr. Hiney, and says that Chicken is a deformed duck. With that, he takes Chicken to the hospital for a wattle-ex-tamy.

Red Guys shows up at Cow and Chicken's house, posing as Hives the Butler.

Red Guy shows up at Cow and Chicken's house again, this time claiming to be a piano teacher. So now Cow and Chicken are his students, and tries to make them child-prodigy piano players, so he can be rich.

Cow bakes her own pie and wants Chicken to try it...but he doesn't want to. Cow then follows Chicken everywhere until she takes drastic measures...hiding all of the food in the house, only leaving the pie. Chicken gives in, and discovers the pie is actually good. Little does he know...it's really poop.

Flem and Earl find themselves lost in the middle of an ocean near the equator. They fear their lives are short, and begin reminescing about their fun lives: home coming, water boys, mentally challenged, eating cheese in Yurp, running with the bulls in Pimplelotta, singing drinking songs in Germany, and having love for Cow. I am Weasel: ""I.R. Do""

Chicken puts prices on himself and Cow at the store and Red purchases them but is unable to determine their usefulness.

Amateur director Ivan Panced (The Red Guy) hold auditions for the role of ""Pretty Little Girl"" in his new movie with the same name. Cow wins the role by being the only girl who can't puddle dance. Cow's performance is charming, and well as tear-jerking: the horror is yet to come as the cameraman discovers he forgot to put the film in the camera.

The neighboring county of Montzerellaville is in the middle of a Holy Cheese War. One of their own, Slappy McCracken, is part of the exchange student program. He and Cow fall head over heals for each other. Cow then decides to stop the cheese war by proving that cheese isn't used for weapons, it's used for food.

Mom and Dad are upset that Cow and Chicken aren't afraid of the dark, so they call in a specialist on fear: The Red Guy (who portrays Dr. Lackslacks). He tries everyway he can to make Cow and Chicken afraid, only succeeding in making himself afraid of everything.

I.R. competes against Weasel in a music concert.

Cow wakes up in the middle of the night and finds a monster in the closet. Mr. Monster is actually quite friendly, and the next day, Cow treats him to a grand day out.

Red Guy shows up at Cow and Chicken's house, claiming to be a beauty pagent scout. He then dolls up Cow, and enters her into the next beauty pagent.

It's almost arbor day, and Mom and Dad are feeding their pet piggy pennies so they can crack him open on arbor day. Meanwhile, Cow and Chicken are craving ice cream, and try to chase down the ice cream man (Red Guy).

Cow and Chicken wait outside the hardware store while Dad shops. Chicken is dying to ride the fighter jet plane ride. When Cow finally lends Chicken a quarter, The Red Guy takes the ride away. Chicken then stows-away on his truck, to ride the plane, but has to plug it up. Once at the gas station, he buys 20 extension cords, but the owner unplugs them. In the end, Chicken discovers that Dad actually collects those kind of rides.

Chicken is sick of the cafeteria's food, which is nothing but a steady diet of ketchup. Since Chicken is against it, he has been banned from eating anything from the cafeteria. After a halusination of seeing his great grandpa and grandma, Cow and Chicken decide to open up their own little meat cafe, which turns out to be quite popular.

Weasel is going to face a human in a ping-pong duel. A jealous I.R. tells the human that he's won a trip, so I.R. can duel Weasel himself.

While driving in the snow, Mom and Dad find The Red Guy who says he's heading ""home""; so Mom and Dad take him home with him, and immediately think of him has their new favorite son. Cow and Chicken work together to try to prove The Red Guy's a fraud.

Weasel and I.R. create their forms of life.

Weasel creates a time machine that I.R. uses to go back in time, but Weasel discovers that I.R. is destined to solve all kind of problems at certain periods.

After Earl gets the new Sergeant Weenie Arms action figure, he, Flem and Chicken go to Dead Skull Cave to meet the soldier himself, and become full-fledge weenie marines. After they do so, they learn that weenie marines are sissies.

The director of Weasel and I.R.'s cartoons does nothing but stealing old clichés from classic cartoons.

Sick of their everyday life of being squirted with milk, Cow's favorite toys: Crabs the Warthog Doll, Piles the Beaver Doll, and Manure the Bear decide to run away to find their original owner. After reading Manure's tag that says ""Made In Hong Kong"", they assume their original owner is a maiden named Hong Kong, and set out on a quest to find her.

Weasel comes to investigate the world's largest hole, same hole I.R. tries to fill with cement.

Dad tells the story of how he and Mom met to Cow and Chicken.

Weasel and I.R. remember the days in which they were good friends, until they were sent to Enemy Camp.

Mom and Dad go out of town, leaving Cow as the babysitter, because she's the biggest, and not the oldest. Pretty soon, Chicken is at the mercy of his sister's babysitting technique: eating marshmallow soup for supper, doing homework with Crabs the Warthog doll, Piles the Beaver doll, and Manure the Bear doll, taking a bath and being scrubbed with dishsoap, and wearing diapers.

The Red Guy is depressed because no one will play with him. After seeing Cow has Crabs the Warthog, he wants to play with her because he has Crabs's doll house. When he askes to play with Cow, she tells him not if he was the last man on earth. With that he locks the entire world in a trailer, and is the last man standing: but Cow still won't play with him.

Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl are contestants on the gameshow ""You've Been Panced?"". Where the contestants have three seconds to perform three complicated tasks, or they have to spin the penalty. Chicken, Flem, and Earl all fail, but thanks to Super Cow, they win the grand prize: Red Guy's life savings. They discovered that they've been swindled, and Super Cow takes out Red Guy.

Weasel and I.R. are sent to a correctional institute were everyone is forced to wear stupid corrective devices.

Back in Roman times, Weasel and I.R. battle each other as gladiators.

Dad isn't friendly terms with the new neighbors, who happen to be clowns. Cow falls in love with the clown son, who in return falls in love with Cow. They play hooky to spend the day together. Dad finds out, and Cow in grounded, while he kicks the clown son out, and chews clown dad out.

Weasel is the captain of his own comercial plane, and must take a bunch of people up a river with I.R. as his co-pilot.

Cow and Chicken play at the arcade. The Red Guy persuades Chicken to play his new video game. Chicken is placed in a special chair, and fitted with special goggles, and he finds himself, virtually in the video games. He then finds himself the victim of a bunch of killer daises.

Chicken thinks he's found a good way to earn extra cash - by mowing old man Devlin's yard.

Flem's Dad takes Chicken, Flem, and Earl on a camping trip in the woods. Cow shows up with Chicken's forgotten hairbrush, only to be kicked out by him, Flem and Earl. Flem's Dad then sings a ballad to the kids about a flattened cat, who can act like a frisbee, and cut things down like trees and trucks. Later that night, the kids find their cans of Sugar Frosted Weenies cut open by Sailcat.

Cow has a crush on Crag, the smartest kid in school, but is ignored by him. Her friends try to convince her that her horns are too small, so she tries every way to make them bigger by decorating them with coat hangers, paper masche, and even chocolate chip weenies. Cow later learns that Crag wasn't interest in Cow, because he had a crush on one of her friends.

Cow and Chicken get an unexpected visit from Cow's twin cousin, Sow (a pig with 8 teets). After Sow's first day at school, she causes chaos, and puts the blame on Cow. It's up to Cow to pull the plug on Sow's evil ways.

Red Guy is CEO of a giant factory. He holds a birthday party for himself in the confrence room later that night, but none of the employees show up. But it doesn't matter, he has enough fun by himself.

Cow doesn't wish to come in, but rather stay out all night to stare at the moon. So she builds a make-shift rocket ship out of cardboard boxes, a trashcan, and traffic cone. It ACTUALLY works, and finds herself on the planet Mud, where she brings space alien (Red Guy) back to earth where he says the solution to all problems is: puppets.

Chicken is fed up with Cow's constant babbling, and wishes for her to shut up. Cow then gives Chicken the silent treatment. Chicken soon regrets when Cow doesn't tell him about an oncoming truck, and not representing him in court.

Dad decides that the family needs a pet...so he buys a spayed male jackel named Ed. He and Mom go out to celebrate, leaving Cow and Chicken alone with a living terrorist pet. Cow and Chicken then consult ""How to Care for Your First Jackel"" to try to tame Ed.

Mom and Dad are disgusted that Cow and Chicken believe the world is round, so they hire Dad's brother, Longhorn Steer (who really is a steer) to tudor Cow and Chicken. Longhorn fails, but Cow and Chicken learn that he doesn't want to teach...we wants to be a normal steer, get married, have kids, hold a job, and stampede.

Chicken's dream is to be a world famous figure skater, so he and Earl enter a figure skating contest. Red Guy is jealous because his partner is Flem, so, he injures Earl, making Chicken helpless out on the rink...until Cow comes to save Chicken's dream.

Cow and Chicken get a visit from their cousin, Black Sheep (who really is in both terms). While Mom and Dad run away, Cow and Chicken try to make Black Sheep feel at home, but when he compliments Flem and Earl in scientific terms, they assume that Black Sheep is a dangerous criminal. Cow tries to help Black Sheep, who everyone changes their minds about, after he saves a woman's life from a heart attack.

Weasel the Whale Captain is looking for the giant squid.

Cow loves horses. While reading a book about a famous horse, Blackie, she discovers the famous horse in her front yard. Cow and Chicken then take the horse as their new friend. Cow and Chicken make sure that Blackie gets his way. Soon Mom and Dad tire living like animals and wearing horse shoes, and tell Cow and Chicken that Blackie has to go.

Mom and Dad force Cow and Chicken to join Red Guy's circus.

When Cow and Chicken get depressed, their parents suggest them to go to a mysterious swamp, and find a blind blues singer to fight their depression.

Cow stays outside too late, and pretty soon finds herself lost in the woods, and tries to survive. She pretty soon comes to the conclusion that it's eat, or be eaten, so she puts on war paint, and finds a squirrel in a bush, she quickly eats. It turns out she was in the backyard all the time, and her imagination got the better of her.

Cow and Chicken go to the arcade, and play the time machine. They find themselves back in a deserted time, where The Red Guy introduces them to the primortial soup. But when Cow accidentally drops her quarter into it, everyone in the present time has quarters for heads. Cow and Chicken must go back into time again to stop her.

Everyone makes fun of Cow because she still has her old security blanket. She then tosses it out the school bus window, but is depressed for the rest of the day. Chicken tries the cheer her up by playing the bad guy in a game of Super Cow. Cow confesses that her blanket was also Super Cow's magic cape, and that Super Cow was never coming back. Red Guy then sees the perfect opportunity to torture Flem and Earl. Chicken decides it's ""Wonder Wattle"" to the rescue.