Cow and Chicken Episode Rating Graph

Teacher is disappointed when the school's plastic surgery team has no championships, so she calls in The Red Guy, to be the new plastic surgery coach. Chicken and Cow immediately join the team, and are taken to the finals, where they must compete against real doctors, who are still in grade school.

Cow and Chicken decide to get on Canada's Funniest Home Vidiots; so they glue each other to their heads, and send the tape in. They then meet the host of the show, The Red Guy (who portrays Lance Sackless). After Cow and Chicken win the grandprize, The Red Guy trashes them with insults about how stupid they look, so Super Cow takes out The Red Guy.

Chicken turns 11, and is allowed to operate the food catapault. So he feeds Cow with pork butts, but when his sleeve gets caught in the catapault, he ends up getting swallowed by Cow. With that, Mom and Dad take her to The Red Guy, who tries to get Chicken out of Cow's cavernous abdimen.

Dad is sick of his high-tech reecliner always malfunctioning, so he decides to dump it. Before he does, Cow and Chicken decide to see what it's like to sit in ""The Chair"". They, and they get stuck, and are taken away to museums, and in stolen vans, and finally back at home, where Dad waits for his ""new chair"".

Chicken rushes through breakfast, and accidentally eats a box full of coffee flakes. He then goes crazy and has trouble getting to sleep. On his third night of no sleep, Chicken then runs up the Empire State Building. Super Cow shoots him with warm milk, and Chicken finally falls asleep.

After Chicken's beak is bruised by Dick, his school bully, Mom and Dad send him to karate lessons. Chicken takes up butt-fu from The Red Guy, but when Chicken still is unable to beat up Dick, Chicken decides to force a refund (with help from an invisible Super Cow).

Mom and Dad take Cow and Chicken on a vacation in Oregon to find ""head hunters"". The Red Guy is their tour guide, and takes them into the woods, where they find a tribe of headhunters. While Cow, Mom, and Dad are watching Ice Walkers, the tribe have their eyes fixed on Chicken's head.

Cow and Chicken are sent to the copy room to make copies of the pop quiz. They then get carried away by making copies of their butts, and themselves: causing the copier to blow up. Cow and Chicken run down to the local officer supply store, while The Red Guy brings a copy of Chicken to life. The Chicken copy then causes chaos all over school, while Cow and the real Chicken try to destroy it.

Cow and Chicken mess with a Junior Chemistry Set, and created perpetual energy, a beam of energy that keeps on going forever. The Red Guy kidnaps Cow and Chicken to recreate the energy, so he can win a trip to up North without having to sell Military Scout Cookies. I Am Weasel: ""My Friend, the Smart Banana''

Cow goes to Arkansas to meet The Red Guy, who is trying to become the King and Queen of Cheese. The problem is that his method of making cheese is sucking the cheese out of things such as buckets, water towers, weasels, haystacks, silos, grandmas, horses, dogs, lizards, hyenas, ducks, and now Cow. Chicken rescues Cow and the other animals, who then turn the cheese suckers to The Red Guy.

Chicken puts prices on himself and Cow at the store and Red purchases them but is unable to determine their usefulness.

Chicken finds a credit card as his ""free inside prize"". Dad tells him that with the credit card, he can buy all the neat stuff he wants. So Cow and Chicken run down to the weenie emporium, where he learns he can only buy products with the value of 25 cents or less. With that, he buys a stick of weenie bubblegum for 20 cents, then The Red Guy shows up to collect his 5 cent interest.

Cow buys the new Piles the Beaver Doll, and takes him to the carnival with her. When he's catapaulted into the air, she then goes on a wild goose chase all over the carnival just to catch him.

Mom and Dad are upset that Cow and Chicken aren't afraid of the dark, so they call in a specialist on fear: The Red Guy (who portrays Dr. Lackslacks). He tries everyway he can to make Cow and Chicken afraid, only succeeding in making himself afraid of everything.

Cow and Chicken's class takes a field trip to Folsom Prison. There, Chicken changes place with a prisoner, and causes riots by pantsing guards, and demands Pork Butts and Taters for lunch, while the prisoner, Rhode Island Red, pretends to be Chicken. Cow sees through this, and under Super Cow, returns Red, and rescues Chicken.

Flem and Earl find themselves lost in the middle of an ocean near the equator. They fear their lives are short, and begin reminescing about their fun lives: home coming, water boys, mentally challenged, eating cheese in Yurp, running with the bulls in Pimplelotta, singing drinking songs in Germany, and having love for Cow. I am Weasel: ""I.R. Do""

Cow and Chicken go to the arcade, and play the time machine. They find themselves back in a deserted time, where The Red Guy introduces them to the primortial soup. But when Cow accidentally drops her quarter into it, everyone in the present time has quarters for heads. Cow and Chicken must go back into time again to stop her.

Amateur director Ivan Panced (The Red Guy) hold auditions for the role of ""Pretty Little Girl"" in his new movie with the same name. Cow wins the role by being the only girl who can't puddle dance. Cow's performance is charming, and well as tear-jerking: the horror is yet to come as the cameraman discovers he forgot to put the film in the camera.

Cow has a new pair of glasses, and suddenly becomes the smartest person in school. Chicken decides that two can play at that game and gets glasses himself, but since he already has perfect vision, the glasses make everything look blurry. He soon becomes the new smartest kid in class. Because of his new intellect, he is placed in charge of tearing down the new ""dungeon"", which was really a new indoor swimming pool.

Mom and Dad decide to let Cow have a pet. She choose an anaconda, after it eats Chicken, and she hears his voice from inside the snake, and assumes the snake can sound just like Chicken. Cow names the anaconda, Fluffy, and Fluffy soon grows attached to Chicken, as its full-coarse dinner.

Orthodontic Police: The Red Guy is an orthodontic police officer, whose duty is to correct those with bad teeth. He puts them into painful and rediculous-looking retainers that cover their whole bodies. He ultimately puts them on everybody, even those without teeth. When everyone learns that the braces are permanent, Super Cow comes to everyone's rescue.

Chicken holds a yard sale, but when one of the price tags accidentally falls off the table and onto the yard, The Red Guy literally buys the yard. Mom and Dad expect Chicken to get the yard back, in which he does by having Cow play a game of one-shot battleship with The Red Guy.

Cow wants to earn money to buy the new Crabs the Warthog Doll. So she gets a part-time job at the milk farm, where her milk is superb. Chicken decides to get a part-time job too, and is refered to the Chicken farm as a ""temporary employee"". I Am Weasel: ""I.R. On Sun""

Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl try out for the school's sumo wrestling team. For being big and fat, Cow is the new team member. Soon, everyone fears her, and she feels degected, but it benefits Chicken, because now no one will beat him up.

Chicken, Flem, and Earl decide to sneak into the girl's bathroom during the middle of the night. With Chicken suited up, he goes behind the pink door to discover a cigar machine, a hair washer, and an enclosed toilet, where you can get a complete image makeover. I Am Weasel: ""This Bridge, Not Weasel Bridge""

Cow and Chicken's class go on a field trip to the Cometorium, where Chicken is bored stiff. After getting hit by one of Dad's golf balls (he was golfing right next door), Chicken hangs it in front of the telescope; soon, the whole town is in panic of the arrival of ""Dad's Ball Comet"".

Cow's tongue rips out of her mouth and runs away. He then causes havock all over town, by hi-jacking someone of their motor-scooter, rolling around in someone's gravy, and licking the candy store dry. Soon, Tongue finds himself on the lam, and runs back to Cow. Everything is back to normal, until Chicken's wattle decides to run away to.

Chicken, Flem, and Earl play a game of kickball. Cow's udders kick the ball into the bushes, where Chicken, Flem and Earl discover a laughing puddle. After Flem and Chicken run back out, they forget the ball, and go back to discover that Earl is in the puddle. Chicken sends Flem after him, and he is stuck too. Chicken then gets Mom and Dad, who jump into the puddle, and Chicken drops Cow in there to save everyone. Chicken is then the only one left, until he discovers the puddle is a doorway to Boneless Chicken's nightclub.

Chicken is upset because he can't whistle, and everybody else can. The Red Guy tries to tutor Chicken, but he finds out that Chicken can't whistle because he has no lips. The Red Guy then immedietaly sends Chicken to surgery.

Red Guys shows up at Cow and Chicken's house, posing as Hives the Butler. For the rest of the day, he tries to make Cow and Chicken's life easier, by answers questions for them, peeing for them, feeding them, blinking for them, and giving them story time. When Red Guy discovers that their not wealthy, he decides to take his scam to Flem and Earl.

Chicken and Flem are the victim of Butch, the school bully. But Butch soon finds himself the victim of the new school bully, Jimmy, along with Chicken and Flem. Cow persuades Chicken and Flem to help Butch, and they soon find out that they were really wimps inside inflatable buff suits.

Cow learns that she has a herding instinct, and soon starts to fit in with other crowds such as flocks of ducks, schools of fish, and the military. She soon learns that she is supposed to herd with other cows, so she does, but soon dislikes it when all the other cows do nothing but stand and eat grass.

Dad isn't friendly terms with the new neighbors, who happen to be clowns. Cow falls in love with the clown son, who in return falls in love with Cow. They play hooky to spend the day together. Dad finds out, and Cow in grounded, while he kicks the clown son out, and chews clown dad out.

Everyone makes fun of Cow because she still has her old security blanket. She then tosses it out the school bus window, but is depressed for the rest of the day. Chicken tries the cheer her up by playing the bad guy in a game of Super Cow. Cow confesses that her blanket was also Super Cow's magic cape, and that Super Cow was never coming back. Red Guy then sees the perfect opportunity to torture Flem and Earl. Chicken decides it's ""Wonder Wattle"" to the rescue.

Red Guy shows up at Cow and Chicken's house, claiming to be a beauty pagent scout. He then dolls up Cow, and enters her into the next beauty pagent. While Cow literally makes a mochrie up on stage, she wins anyway with her inner beauty. Cow then discovers that it was all a scam so Red Guy could wear the tiarara, and hold the roses, at least just once.

Lawnmower Chicken: Chicken needs to earn money to buy socks, so he gets a job mowing The Red Guy's lawn, which has grass taller than him. He also has to mow the back yard, which contains the Swiss Alps! After Chicken finishes, The Red Guy cheats him, so Super Cow fixes it up.

Mom and Dad go out of town, leaving Cow as the babysitter, because she's the biggest, and not the oldest. Pretty soon, Chicken is at the mercy of his sister's babysitting technique: eating marshmallow soup for supper, doing homework with Crabs the Warthog doll, Piles the Beaver doll, and Manure the Bear doll, taking a bath and being scrubbed with dishsoap, and wearing diapers.

Chicken is tired of always having to do chores, so he chews Mom and Dad out, and runs away to be a bachelor with Cousin Boneless Chicken. One at Boneless's Chicken attracts the attention on Boneless's blind-date, Linda. Linda falls head over heals for Chicken, which makes Boneless disgusted.

While driving in the snow, Mom and Dad find The Red Guy who says he's heading ""home""; so Mom and Dad take him home with him, and immediately think of him has their new favorite son. Cow and Chicken work together to try to prove The Red Guy's a fraud.

Cow tags along with Chicken, Flem, and Earl on their camping trip in the tree fort. Cow says that if Chicken, Flem, or Earl touch her dream catcher that they'll die. Chicken accidentally breaks her dream catcher, and soon, he, Flem and Earl are at the mercy of Cow's worst nightmare: The Milkman.

It's almost arbor day, and Mom and Dad are feeding their pet piggy pennies so they can crack him open on arbor day. Meanwhile, Cow and Chicken are craving ice cream, and try to chase down the ice cream man (Red Guy).

Cow and Chicken wait outside the hardware store while Dad shops. Chicken is dying to ride the fighter jet plane ride. When Cow finally lends Chicken a quarter, The Red Guy takes the ride away. Chicken then stows-away on his truck, to ride the plane, but has to plug it up. Once at the gas station, he buys 20 extension cords, but the owner unplugs them. In the end, Chicken discovers that Dad actually collects those kind of rides.

Cow stays outside too late, and pretty soon finds herself lost in the woods, and tries to survive. She pretty soon comes to the conclusion that it's eat, or be eaten, so she puts on war paint, and finds a squirrel in a bush, she quickly eats. It turns out she was in the backyard all the time, and her imagination got the better of her.

When Cow and Chicken get depressed, their parents suggest them to go to a mysterious swamp, and find a blind blues singer to fight their depression.

It's ""Bring Your Kids to Work Day"", so Dad does just that. Dad's job is guarding the government's money. When he has to appear at a sudden confernce, he leaves Cow and Chicken in his office. Red Guy, who is now a Canadian Mounty Police, finds them, and begins to stalk them, until they surrender.

The Red Guy is depressed because no one will play with him. After seeing Cow has Crabs the Warthog, he wants to play with her because he has Crabs's doll house. When he askes to play with Cow, she tells him not if he was the last man on earth. With that he locks the entire world in a trailer, and is the last man standing: but Cow still won't play with him.

Dad tells the story of how he and Mom met to Cow and Chicken.

Cow and Chicken are devastated when Mom and Dad suddenly announce that their moving. Cow and Chicken start reminising about their favorite memories from the only home they ever lived in, from their first puppy, to their first Christmas. The Red Guy, Flem and Earl are also devastated when Cow and Chicken are moving. Once the truck is loaded, Cow and Chicken discover that they are only moving to an identical house next door. When asked why, Dad replies ""our old house was infested with ants.""

Cow brings home an ""invisible"" dog, whom she dubs, Kevin. Pretty soon, she and Kevin are inseperable, but causes trouble with school and friends. After she enters Kevin in a dog show, and wins, Kevin ""runs away"". Afterwards, Cow finds Kevin, befriended an ""invisible"" homeless man.

Cow and Chicken visit their cousin, Snail Boy for Sunday Dinner. Later that night, Mom's Sis announces that Snail Boy has been transformed to Cow and Chicken's school. During his first day of school, Chicken becomes the laughing-stock when every finds out that Chicken is the cousin of a snail. Snail Boy then becomes the target of the eyes of the bullying track team.

Cow is depressed because she has no friends: until she finds a fly in her room and befriends it. Pretty soon she and the fly are inseperable: until Chicken, Mom and Dad call in the fly exterminator.

Chicken refuses to take bath, so he just sits there in the empty tub, while Cow, Mom, and Dad try to make him take a bath so they can use the toilet.

Cow has a crush on Crag, the smartest kid in school, but is ignored by him. Her friends try to convince her that her horns are too small, so she tries every way to make them bigger by decorating them with coat hangers, paper masche, and even chocolate chip weenies. Cow later learns that Crag wasn't interest in Cow, because he had a crush on one of her friends.

Grandma pays at visit to Cow and Chicken's house to take them to the mall with her. Her purpose for being at the mall: to look for a new grandpa, because she lost the old one. Chicken gives her the slip while he, Flem and Earl hang out at the concession stands.

Chicken's dream is to be a world famous figure skater, so he and Earl enter a figure skating contest. Red Guy is jealous because his partner is Flem, so, he injures Earl, making Chicken helpless out on the rink...until Cow comes to save Chicken's dream.

Cow and Chicken get a visit from their cousin, Black Sheep (who really is in both terms). While Mom and Dad run away, Cow and Chicken try to make Black Sheep feel at home, but when he compliments Flem and Earl in scientific terms, they assume that Black Sheep is a dangerous criminal. Cow tries to help Black Sheep, who everyone changes their minds about, after he saves a woman's life from a heart attack.

The Great Pantzini: Mom and Dad force Cow and Chicken to join Red Guy's circus. Red Guy tries everything to make Cow and Chicken to fit into the circus. First he tries them out as Cow being a trapeze artist, and Chicken as a fire eater. But when his clowns quit, he makes Cow and Chicken his new clowns.

Cow and Chicken get an unexpected visit from Cow's twin cousin, Sow (a pig with 8 teets). After Sow's first day at school, she causes chaos, and puts the blame on Cow. It's up to Cow to pull the plug on Sow's evil ways.

Cow and Chicken play at the arcade. The Red Guy persuades Chicken to play his new video game. Chicken is placed in a special chair, and fitted with special goggles, and he finds himself, virtually in the video games. He then finds himself the victim of a bunch of killer daises.

Red Guy is CEO of a giant factory. He holds a birthday party for himself in the confrence room later that night, but none of the employees show up. But it doesn't matter, he has enough fun by himself.

Cow wakes up in the middle of the night and finds a monster in the closet. Mr. Monster is actually quite friendly, and the next day, Cow treats him to a grand day out. They enjoy jumping ropes, eating ice cream, and watching TV. But when Mom and Dad discover this, they freak out, and have Cow banish Mr. Monster in the closet forever.

Chicken tells Cow that she's not artistic, so she in return, sculpts a seal out of a stick of chewing gum, and an entire machine full of bubblegum balls. Cow wishes that her chewing gum seal, whom she names Chachi, was real. Suddenly, a wishing star grants her wish, and Chachi is a real, miserable, ho-hum seal.