Nick discusses sketches that didn't make it; drunk girls cause problems at a fast food restaurant; a first time dad gets upset about visitors at a hospital's baby nursery.

Nick talks about Johnny Depp's amazing life. Sketches include a couple's disastrous date, a stripper getting magical powers, and a breakfast cereal character turning a holiday dinner into a nightmare.

Sketches include a commercial for a restaurant where only certain customers get to eat free, a man consolidates both his businesses due to the recession, and Wheelchair Cat ends up in the hospital.

Nick tells a personal story about an accident with unusual consequences; the results of an extraterrestrial paternity test is revealed on talk show Clarencé; Reed O’ Frampton’s amazing cleaning product the ”Beep Beep Sweep”; a charity campaign to get Africans to help pathetic Americans; homemade coupons as a gift for new parents and trial lawyer Darren Jeremy uses his unique talents to maximum advantage both in the courtroom and the bedroom.

There’s blood, tears, vomit, urine and donkey sperm - lots of donkey sperm. In the premiere of comedian Nick Swardson's sketch-comedy show, a man is upset when his mother leaves all her money to the family cat. Nick dedicates the show to his dead cat. Also: a father who compiles a "bucket list" for his son; and a profile of Lady Gaga's brother, a police officer in New Jersey.

Nick talks about how dirty the show can be; guest stars Finesse Mitchell, rapper Swayze and duo Dana & Julia.

Nick talks about the trouble they had casting the Freddy Krueger sketch; stand up comedians Nick Kroll and Paul F. Tompkins.

Nick talks about sitting next to actress Liv Tyler during a first class flight. Sketches include a man receiving a unique face transplant, a distraught family, and Garry Gaga trying to warm up to the new police captain.