Burnistoun Episode Rating Graph

Burnistoun's major toy manufacturing company tries to solve the mystery of why its latest executive toy has failed to sell, the crime-fighting Doberman Man tracks down a boy who teased him at school, paranoia sweeps the local pub and pole dancing club, and an overpriced pizza causes two friends to have a breakdown.

Local entrepreneur Alex Ciderson demonstrates his new invention - a pie scarer, squabbling sibling ice-cream sellers Paul and Walter celebrate their dead mother's birthday with rival birthday cakes, pub singer Ronnie Dreech delivers a literally explosive set, and a young man's chat-up routines are continually foiled as he swallows a succession of insects.

The legend of King Arthur springs to life when a Burnistoun man pulls the magic sword Excalibur out of the pavement, two punters enjoying a lock-in at the pub find their enjoyment eerily curtailed by the arrival of the pub's ghost, and one of Burnistoun's local football teams decides to sign some good-looking foreign fans to improve the look of the terraces.

A problem arises for Burnistoun's housing association when a resident complains about a strange presence in his house, a gullible customer at a car-boot sale pays too much for a denim jacket, a couple who met on a TV dating show seem unable to forget the experience, and ice-cream sellers Paul and Walter's efforts to sell their product on the beach in winter ends in tragedy.

Burnistoun's got talent in the shape of a local singing sensation with a unique vocal style, the pioneering BBC Burnistoun takes a look at what soap operas would be like if people actually went to the toilet, and the local meat provider and the town serial killer have a disagreement over who gets to call himself the Burnistoun Butcher.

A trendy coffee shop that has an original way of serving a cappuccino, the proprietor of a business specialising in wooden pallets gives us his idea of a sophisticated sales pitch in a specially made TV ad, a high street boutique delivers questionable sartorial advice to a confused punter, and one of Burnistoun's youngest inhabitants escapes punishment for being late for school thanks to an inventive note from his dad.

The 'quality polis' team of McGregor and Toshan attend a football match and cause the very riot they were there to prevent, pals Peter and Scott have a disagreement over what is acceptable footwear for the pub, Jolly Boy John has fun with some pet turtles in his latest home video, and two aggressive car salesmen foist a top-of-the-range motor on a reluctant passer-by.

A frank exchange of views between two Burnistoun MSPs, a distinct absence of females when the best pub in Burnistoun holds a ladies' night, world-famous clothes designer Larl Kagerfeld makes imaginative use of some unlikely local accessories, and wannabe pop star Kelly McGlade is sick of sharing the limelight and fires her bandmates to go solo.

Misguided entrepreneur Alex Ciderson invents a new way of packaging beer, 'quality polis' McGregor and Toshan gatecrash a party, pals Peter and Scott find they have a different approach to shaving a certain part of their anatomy, The Kilty Club's Herry McLoudery massacres another Scots song, and Jolly Boy John displays some unusual ways with pakora.

The local cake shop suffers a decline in sales when a rogue cake decorator is let loose, two punters are unimpressed with the clientele in their local café, the job centre has a new line in compulsory niceness, and all is not well in Burnistoun's leafy suburbs when a resident struggles to put out the correct colour of wheelie bin.