Payne Episode Rating Graph

Royal laments the quality of his clientele. He longs to play host to presidents and kings but rather he gets blue collar families and philandering husbands with their mistresses. His ire is piqued when he learns that his competition, the Sand Dune, has received two stars in the Mobile guide while Whispering Pines wasn't even ranked. Royal resolves to put Whispering Pines on the map by adding a ""gourmet night"" to the hotel's attractions. After he accuses the Mobile Guide critic of being a tart and comes to believe that his four-star chef has expired, it begins to look as though success is not on the menu.

Royal's efforts to impress a businessman get sidetracked when Connie's nephew (Richard Speight, Jr.) shows up fresh from prison. Mr. Allenbee: Bruce Jarchow. Mrs. Allenbee: Lizzie Murray. Leo: Eric Christmas.

Royal, who is hosting an expensive wedding at Whispering Pines, begins to panic when the father of the bride won't pay until after the ceremony. Determined that the wedding will go smoothly, Royal is frantic when he discovers that Breeze and the groom have the hots for each other, and desperately attempts to intervene -- which leads to disastrous results.

Royal panics when he realizes he forgot to buy an anniversary present for his wife, Connie. Breeze saves the day when she finds a pricey antique pin left behind by a guest, and Connie is thrilled with her gift. Royal is also ecstatic since he didn't have to spend a cent on it -- until the frantic guest returns to Whispering Pines offering a $1,000 reward for the heirloom. Royal can't resist stealing the ""gift"" back from Connie in order to collect the money but then finds himself setting up his own reward fund when Connie discovers that her new pin is missing.

The Whispering Pines' new telephone system has an added feature that Royal and Connie unexpectedly discover -- an intercom that allows them to listen in on the guests' conversations. Connie is thrilled to discover this new form of entertainment, and Royal decides to ""use the power for good"" -- satisfying their guests' requests before the requests are made -- a plan that inevitably catches Payne with his pants down.

A representative from Family Friendly Travel pays a visit to evaluate Whispering Pines, and Royal attempts to dupe her into believing that the inn is a wholesome establishment. Unfortunately, Royal is busy trying to dupe the Family Friendly woman during a week in which the inn is coping with a cross-dressing guest and a lost child.