Two Men in a Tinnie Episode Rating Graph

John and Tim begin their epic journey in the upper reaches of the tributaries that feed into the Murray and Darling rivers. Our intrepid adventurers make a futile attempt to launch the Bismarck on the Maranoa River, only to find their launch spot is bone dry! Maranoa, they later discover, means 'river of sand'. Finally there's enough water in the Balonne River to get the tinnie wet, but there's a question over the seaworthiness of the mighty vessel. Making their way down to the Queensland/NSW border, they wander through the parched, brown landscape inspecting the river red gum forests that are dying of thirst, and also uncover the age-old water controversy that people downstream are dirty on people upstream. And that means everyone's dirty on Queensland.

Continuing their journey along the Murray and Darling rivers, First Mate John Doyle and Captain Tim Flannery decide to trace the journey of Henry Lawson who worked on the sheep station, Toorale, in the 1890s. After examining its grandeur, Tim and John bunk down in the shearers' quarters for the night. John and Tim navigate the Bismarck along what's referred to as the 'muddy gutter' of the Darling to Louth, where they bump into Wally Mitchell, farmer, bush poet, former Mayor of Bourke, and a bloke familiar with the squabbles over water. After travelling for weeks down a river whose chief feature is lack of water, John and Tim reach the vast storage of Menindee Lakes in western NSW. Suddenly there appears to be water everywhere. Just downstream on Lake Menindee itself the residents of dry and dusty Broken Hill, an hour west, have built their waterfront weekenders. But there's a minor problem. So little water flow is getting past the dam, there's been no water in Lake Menindee itself for years. But a dry ancient lake can reveal the most extraordinary secrets, especially if you have a palaeontologist's pick on hand. After the excitement of their find, John and Tim call in to visit the ladies of the Country Women's Association for a good dose of local wisdom and a cuppa. But the river calls and there are a few more stops along the way.

John and Tim have begun to appreciate they are travelling down one of the world's longest river systems. Unfortunately it has one of the lowest flows. On the Darling itself the two adventurers have been hopping from water hole to water hole in the Bismarck. The Bismarck navigates through a slimy, weedy part of the river that's choking on blue green algae. The outbreaks of the algae have been so toxic, they've killed sheep that have come to drink the river's water. Looks like the Bismarck could be its next victim. After 2,000 kilometres and nearly four weeks on the river, John and Tim approach Wentworth in south west NSW, where the Darling meets the Murray. A river with lots of water is a novelty for the Bismarck. John and Tim decide to haul out the Bismarck and travel by road from Swan Hill to Albury, then up into the Snowy and the beginnings of the mighty Murray. After the dry and dusty Darling, suddenly there's lush, green grass and water. It's like another country. It's where Banjo Paterson met Jack Riley - the real man from Snowy River. But where there's more water, there's more people and more boats, and of course, more idiots. The Bismarck is unceremoniously swamped by jet skis, inspiring John to propose the creation of a Water Party that would ban all jet skis! After trying their hand at traditional Aboriginal spear throwing, John and Tim want to get a handle on the unwelcome guests that have infested the Murray - carp. Carp are the rabbits of the rivers and are wiping out the native fish. "Too many carp. Not enough cod. Too much weed. Not enough water. It's a grim tale", says John.