The patients are discharged on the same day – somewhat reluctantly given their lengths of stay – and decide to have a reunion the same evening in a restaurant. By chance, Thorpe is there with Hilary, who is emphatically not his wife, and when Thorpe goes to make a phone call, Glover, seeing her alone, moves in and succeeds in going home with her.

Thorpe believes that Glover needs a blood transfusion and Figgis is the same blood group but Glover, being a snob, is not happy to be the recipient, especially when he hears that Figgis has received a transfusion himself from a West Indian.

Norman witnesses an accident outside the hospital gates involving Thorpe and young speed freak Ronnie, though it is the doctor who would appear to be in the wrong when his breath sample proves positive. Figgis and Glover stage a mock trial to get Norman to divulge the truth.

Glover does not take kindly to eccentric new patient Joe Perkins – with his invisible dog – due to his lack of hygiene and use of Glover's drinking tumbler for his false teeth. However, when he discovers that Joe's tin box contains a fortune and the man is considering changing his will, Glover – and Norman – both fawn on him to get into his good books.

Norman is reading a hospital romance, when he sees new nurse Sally, who is exactly like the fictional heroine. He wants to express his feelings but finds rivalry in Glover, Thorpe and Gupte, all keen to pursue.

An elderly drunk named Charlie arrives, claiming to be looking for his son, from whom he has long been estranged. The assumption is that his son is Norman, though it turns out to be Glover, who, after initial disgust, starts to warm to the old boy, especially when Charlie promises to lay off the sauce.

Glover is charmed by new admission Harry Bridgewater - until it transpires that he is a prisoner who has come in for an operation with a guard in attendance. Having tried to pass himself off as a hardened criminal, Bridgewater has to admit he is merely a getaway driver but asks the patients to cover for him whilst he escapes – for a night – to be intimate with his wife. They agree and persuade Thorpe to assist them but will the convict really return?

A most reluctant Norman is to marry the dull and plain Deirdre, rather than Jenny. Glover decides to flatter Deirdre in order that she might blossom but rather overdoes it so that she transforms into a glamorous, confident woman with no need for Norman.

Norman has to have an appendectomy but Figgis' doom-laden description of operations and Thorpe's wariness do not give him confidence, so he hides in the toilet, having to be coaxed out.

Glover has been seeing a Greek girl and panics when her violent boyfriend comes looking for him so Figgis wraps his head in bandages, claiming that he is a burn victim, setting up a series of confusions.

Norman has recently taken up smoking but long-term smokers Glover and Figgis are feeling the ill-effects of the habit and try, respectively, a pipe and yoga to help quit – but in vain.

When Figgis becomes obsessed with tabloid astrology, the others are sceptical — that is, until Norman's luck at cards takes an upturn. However, Figgis becomes so preoccupied with predictions, he becomes convinced that his death is imminent, forcing Thorpe to beat him at his own game to cure him.

Norman's overbearing, hypochondriac mother comes to visit and he's initially scared to tell her he is romancing Nurse Jenny. Norman's cowardice gives Glover the opportunity to try and make a move but Figgis puts him off with lies, enabling the young couple to eventually stand up to Mrs Binns.

When the vicar comes to discuss Norman and Jenny's impending nuptials, agnostic Figgis gets into a religious argument but ultimately fears for his soul as he has not been christened.

Feeling wistful that they're unable to attend the staff dance with its majority of females, the patients decide to have a party of their own, inviting Nurse Eileen. Needless to say Figgis and Glover – and Thorpe – vie with each other to impress her with their moves.

Thorpe is telling Gupte that his dog Victor is unwell but Gupte misunderstands and thinks he's talking about his son. The patients also fall prey to the misunderstanding, for various reasons each believing that they are going to die.