In the premiere episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a guy who graduated from the school of hard knocks, a chef with a recipe for arrest and a drug bust with a twist. Featuring segments "Return to Cinder," "Cooking with Crack" and "Yabba Dabba Dude."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness some pretty funky footwork, a drive-by surprise and a mighty fall from grace. Featuring segments "Funky Footwork," "Drive Buy" and "Police Help Me, I'm Falling."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a girlfriend who bails out her beau, frightening footage with a happy ending and the dumbest DUI excuse ever made. Featuring segments "Two Bits," "Citizen's Arrest" and "Dumbest DUI."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a criminal who falls asleep just behind the wheel, actual footage of dumb criminals on ice and a case we call, "All Spruced Up." Featuring segments "Pull Over and Wake Up," "Dumb Criminals on Ice" and "All Spruced Up."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness the crook caught by the cop without a kickstand, surveillance cam footage we call, "Stuff Yourself" and a blackjack player who really takes a hit. Featuring segments "Kickstand Blues," "Stuff Yourself" and "Blackjack Mama."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness a bank robber who didn't have a car or a brain, a criminal who gets a special delivery and a dumb criminal who learns about gravity. Featuring segments "The Bagman," "Special Delivery" and "This Guy is Falling."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a fool and his jewels, a crime that was not well-done and three lightweights with a heavy load. Featuring "Fooled You," "Hold the Onion" and "Box of Rocks."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a social climber who's falling fast, a cat's stolen whiskers and a major incident with a miniature reenactment. Featuring segments "Social Climber," "The Cat's Meow" and "Tie Tack Terror."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a break in at the wrong house, a panty plucker who has to pay the piper and a dumb criminal who almost got away. Featuring segments "Don't Call the Police," "Panty Plucker" and "Blinking and Drinking."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a 10-year cab ride, a dumb criminal who uses his head and a criminal who has a very bad payday. Featuring segments "10-Year Cab Ride," "Head Start" and "Crime Doesn't Pay."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a D.U.I. with a W.I.F.E., a comically disabled criminal and a traffic temper that goes wrong. Featuring segments "Skunk Driver," "Oh, My Aching Back" and "Watch the Lights."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a flasher who falls asleep on the job, a shoplifting film fest and a drug deal that goes wrong, -- then right. Featuring segments "Buck Naked," "Attention Shoplifters" and "Photo Finish."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness our first twin dumb criminals, actual surveillance cam footage you won't believe and Rin Tin Tin meets a dummy. Featuring segments "Name Game," "Hi Mom, I'm on TV" and "Bow-Ow-Www."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness some dopers who are a little too hospitable, a jewelry store full of dumb criminals and a dumb criminal who is disarmed and dangerous. Featuring segments "Who is It?" "No Cops Here" and "In Arms Way."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a drunk driver takes more than he bargained for, surveillance store footage from the convenience store from hell and a glad bag that turned into a sad sack. Featuring segments "A Real Drunk Driver," "Store From Hell" and "Sad Sack."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a dumb criminal who can hide but he can't run, a criminal who becomes the Houdini of dumb crime and a guy who gets put on the beat cycle at the laundromat. Featuring segments "He Can't Run," Houdini of Dumb Crime" and "It Beats Me."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a bandit with a beer box for a brain, surveillance camera footage of the shortest work day in history and a criminal who cashed and burned. Featuring segments "Beer Box Bandit," "Comp Time" and "Cash and Burn."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness two criminals who absolutely never met, surveillance camera footage of a new dance step and a dramatic dumb criminal drumroll. Featuring segments "An Affair to Forget," "Bust a Move" and "Dumb Drumroll."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll get a little old lady from Pasadena who tells her secret, go inside a dumb criminal with X-ray footag, and witness purse snatchers who don t get the picture. Featuring segments "Something More Comfortable," "Diamond in the Roughage" and "Picture This."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness two dumb criminals with an extremely short-term memory, actual surveillance footage of two women dressed for arrest and a crime that's all in a small family. Featuring segments "Tooling Around Town," "Dressed for Arrest" and "It s All Relative. "

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a drunk driver with a lame excuse, surveillance camera footage of a real breaking and entering and say "aloha" to a crapshooter. Featuring segments "DUI 2," "Crime Time Live" and "Aloha Sucker."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness the dumb criminal who just couldn't blend in, surveillance camera footage of a bro in a bra and some dumb criminals who deconstruct. Featuring segments "One Way Ticket to Jail," "The Bro in the Bra" and "Mental Blocks."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a dumb criminal who thinks he's lucky, actual footage of a sting you won't believe and a rat who gets caught in his own trap. Featuring segments "Debriefing," "We're Gonna Get You" and "Taxing Driver."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness an unbelievably cooperative criminal, surveillance cam footage of a casino full of dumb criminals and some dumb criminals who have serious car trouble. Featuring segments "Search Me," "Joker s Wild" and "Car Trouble."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a man who was driving under the influence of Elvis, a high speed chase in a camouflaged car and a petty thief who meets the caped crusader. "Search Me," "Joker s Wild" and "Car Trouble."

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals", we'll witness a dumb criminal with real bad luck, surveillance cam footage of a man pilfering pork chops and a dumb criminal who was just faking it. Featuring segments "Bad Luck Brown," "Pilfering Pork Chops" and "Faking It."